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Old 09-29-10, 09:12 PM   #1
gitarzan
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Time for the Big Toe Truck.

Life has sucked for the last few months.

Late April: My wife had an infection, my sister in law had a minor stroke and my father in law had a blood clot bruise thing in his leg and had a surgery to remove it. All three were in different hospitals at the same time.

My wife ended up going home, my sister in law went to a inpatient rehab center and my father in law went to another inpatient rehab facility. My father in law has been semi invalid with diabetes issues for years. He was cared for by his wife, my wife's step mother, who herself was battling cancer.

Early May: My wife goes back to the hospital with a suspected heart attack, thank God it wasn't, but severe dehydration along with some other less threatening heart problems.

While my wife was still in the hospital and my sister in law and father in law was in their respective rehab facilities, my mother in law died. It seems that while she told us she was recovering, she wasn't and her last few weeks she avoided everyone "so not to bother anyone" until she passed away, leaving everyone shocked, especially her husband.

May and June: Much time is spend driving my sister in law around and going back and forth to another town about 50 miles away to keep my father in law sane in his rehab facility. Sister in law is out, handicapped and demanding. I do all this ignoring my own family, missing my Dad's birthday and fathers day.

July: My Dad has a stroke and dies in the hospital a few weeks later. I still have his birthday card, fathers day card and am ridden with guilt. At least I get to see my family for a few more days.

Meanwhile father in law returns home and is still having a terrible time dealing with his grief. He refuses to go to a hospice sponsored grief counseling saying he doesn't need it when five minutes later he is staring at the urn, crying. BTW, this behavior continues to this day.

Sometime during July my wife, a diabetic, takes a callus scraper to her big toe and grinds a hole in it all the way to the meat. She fails to tell anyone about her wound.

August: After my wife goes to the State Fair, the wound becomes infected and she goes back to the hospital for week. Hospital copays are becoming a burden to the budget.

Fortunately a new project at work that ended today gave me a lot of overtime for a few months. Lots of stress too, like I've not enough.

Out of the hospital my wife goes another month before anyone bothers to really look at the toe.

September: I'm working my tail off all week long and Saturdays, still going to care for my father in law on Sundays. I'd long told my sister in law to hang onto another teat.

My wife sees a Podiatrist, who sends her to a wound care clinic. The wound care clinic prescribed some cream called Santyl which is a de-briding enzyme, that dissolves necrotic tissue. After twelve hours we take off the bandage and I almost gag. What was a scabby little raw spot is now a gaping hole in her toe, and I can see the bone.

She been to the wound clinic a few times, has had an MRI on the toe and they decided the bone was infected.

October: Oct 1 is that day she gets to go in to have her big toe amputated. Damn it all. What NEXT? Complications? Someone else dies? I'm really mad about this toe thing. All the other crap was life happening or un-happening, but her toe being destroyed was a train wreck between her vanity and stupidity.

Sorry about the rant, the tale, but I'm really fed up.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:18 PM   #2
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Wow. That's a lot of stress and anxiety.

I do hope things improve for you.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:26 PM   #3
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Lets pretend I just bought you a beer at the Varsity club.
Things can only improve now
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Old 09-29-10, 09:29 PM   #4
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Lets pretend I just bought you a beer at the Varsity club.
Things can only improve now
That would help.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:38 PM   #5
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Wow. That's a lot to deal with in a short amount of time.

Hopefully the seriousness of the toe infection will jolt your wife into the reality that she needs to really take care of herself in order to avoid complications such as this.

Feel free to vent as much as you need in order to help with the stress.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:43 PM   #6
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That is an absolutely huge burden to carry.

I hope things improve.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:45 PM   #7
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Thanks. I really just want to beat the smithereens out of something. Maybe chopping some wood would help. I want to remove a tree out back. Maybe go Paul Bunyan on it.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:46 PM   #8
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Thanks. I really just want to beat the smithereens out of something. Maybe chopping some wood would help. I want to remove a tree out back. Maybe go Paul Bunyan on it.
That's actually a very good solution to vent out stress. I say go for it.
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Old 09-29-10, 09:49 PM   #9
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Jeez! That's a lot - a lot for your poor wife, a lot for you!!!! You need foo hugs!!! {{{Hugs**** <'sup up with that nanny block? 3 brackets? .

I'm going thru the end stages of finalizing bridgework here - and fek - they didn't get the final quite right - it's freaking crooked and so I will be going through another 3-4 stages of having my mouth totally numbed up with 8+ shots and having the doc PULL off the dam bridgework and install another temp and more pain and, ugh.

Poor wife!
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Old 09-30-10, 07:54 AM   #10
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Praying for you brother. And thanks for trusting us enough to open up and let some of it out. Holding it in will not help anyone. Hope the maniacal tree chopping or bike ride of fury happens and that you can relieve a little stress.

Hope that others see you working to do what is right and are inspired to make changes in their life. Sounds like you are surrounded by pride and denial, both of which are huge barriers to change and healing. Best of luck.
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Old 09-30-10, 08:55 AM   #11
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I'm sorry to hear about all that you've been going through. I hope that things turn around soon!
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Old 09-30-10, 09:06 AM   #12
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Thanks. I really just want to beat the smithereens out of something. Maybe chopping some wood would help. I want to remove a tree out back. Maybe go Paul Bunyan on it.
I do that very same thing from time to time, it helps releive some anger, and makes you the good kind of tired.
And the next round is on me.
Good Luck.
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Old 09-30-10, 09:07 AM   #13
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That's a hell of a lot on your plate.

But one thing is for sure: You are pulling through. Your family is pulling through. Right now it's your turn for life's obstacles and here you are, proof that you are making it. Remember something - people go through difficulties. They never stay in them. And with this experience, you are learning how to cope, how to manage, how to be a supporter, how to be stronger. The same with your family. You are all learning right now and coming through this. One step at a time, Gitarzan. You're going to make it. You will. Hang tight.

Go with the flow....
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Old 09-30-10, 12:23 PM   #14
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Don't underestimate the de-stresser that is a letting-it-all-out bike ride.
Don't do what I did when I tried this. I went out so hard during a 25 mile ride that I blew up and struggled the majority of the ride...and felt even worse aftewards! I'm a huge believe in the endorphin-boost but ya still gotta meter it out or else you'll just come back feeling defeated.
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Old 10-01-10, 08:53 AM   #15
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Well, she's on the table now, or Chair or however they do this stuff.
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Old 10-01-10, 09:16 AM   #16
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Yikes, best wishes to all/hoping for speedy recoveries etc...
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Old 10-01-10, 09:19 AM   #17
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Hopefully she'll heal quickly once the infection is removed.
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Old 10-01-10, 07:33 PM   #18
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She's back home. 9 toes and all, back to her usual grumbling. Thanks for all the tea and sympathy. You guys are great.
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Old 10-01-10, 08:47 PM   #19
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YOU are great.

Hoping she gets the rest she needs and the healing is quick.
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