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  1. #1
    Free @Velo Vol RUOkie's Avatar
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    Squirrel Appreciation Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Herbie53 View Post
    Being full of crap and depositing it here consistently is really nothing to be proud of.

  2. #2
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    are you nuts?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  3. #3
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RUOkie View Post
    Is everyone celebrating?
    Yep. Finally got rid of that fuzzy tailed rat.

    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  4. #4
    ReMember trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    And Jseis said, "Let him that isn't stoned commit the first sin."

  5. #5
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    I shall shoot one when i get home...then my dog can appreciate it.

  6. #6
    smorenivore colorider's Avatar
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    Bird seed thieveses they are. Every one.

  7. #7
    Free @Velo Vol RUOkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    I shall shoot one when i get home...then my dog can appreciate it.
    My dogs will catch one about once a week. 2 female Schnauzers. I hate the red beard.
    Quote Originally Posted by Herbie53 View Post
    Being full of crap and depositing it here consistently is really nothing to be proud of.

  8. #8
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RUOkie View Post
    My dogs will catch one about once a week. 2 female Schnauzers. I hate the red beard.
    my little critter's 1/2 shih tzu. Only way she's gonna catch a squirrel is its dead when it hits the ground.

  9. #9
    smorenivore colorider's Avatar
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    Mine are too goofy to catch one. Stealthiness is not in their DNA.

  10. #10
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    hey cbad, why nevermind?

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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  11. #11
    z90
    z90 is offline
    Senior Member z90's Avatar
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  12. #12
    derailleurs are overrated bigbenaugust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    hey cbad, why nevermind?

    Nice window office.
    --Ben
    Carrboro Bike Coalition - putting the "bike" in "CARrboro" :)
    2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX, 2011 Windsor Shetland
    Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011)
    Current Linux Usage (by machine): Arch: II Debian: II openSUSE: I

  13. #13
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigbenaugust View Post
    Nice window office.
    yep, 18th floor at the corner of 635 and the tollway.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  14. #14
    derailleurs are overrated bigbenaugust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    yep, 18th floor at the corner of 635 and the tollway.
    Forget the squirrels, I'd be spotting airplanes all day from there. Addison, Dallas Love, DFW...
    --Ben
    Carrboro Bike Coalition - putting the "bike" in "CARrboro" :)
    2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX, 2011 Windsor Shetland
    Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011)
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  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    yep, the office down the hall looks directly at Addison airport. Fun to plane spot from there. A prop of some sort is going overhead right now.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  16. #16
    Senior Member no motor?'s Avatar
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    This croc would have been happier if he ate a squirrel instead of a cell phone. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/0..._n_812070.html

  17. #17
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    hey cbad, why nevermind?
    I had a link to a really cool squirrel mask, but when I copied the link to post it the web site gave me an "UNAUTHORIZED USE OF WEB LINK" error.
    Quote Originally Posted by RPK79 View Post
    Does the ignore feature just replace all of the poster's text with "Said something stupid" because that would be awesome.
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  18. #18
    Galveston County Texas 10 Wheels's Avatar
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    [SIZE=1][B]What I like about Texas[/B]
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGukLuXzH1E

    Set F1re To The Ra1n ( NY Night Rain Ride)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7jfcWEkSrI

  19. #19
    Mystery Meat gitarzan's Avatar
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    Here's a great tall tale that gets posted all time on motorcycle forums...

    Neighborhood Hazard (or: Why the Cops Won’t Patrol Brice Street)

    I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!

    Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.

    Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being “behind the power curve”. It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

    Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle…at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.

    I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

    Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.

    I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that “edge” so frequently required when riding.

    Little did I suspect…

    As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close.

    I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

    Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

    Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “Banzai!” or maybe, “Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!” as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

    Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

    Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

    I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

    That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

    But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel.

    This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

    Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

    The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him.

    I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.

    The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I just plain screamed.

    Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

    With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

    About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however.

    The rpm’s on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.

    Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel’s tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

    Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

    Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

    Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

    I heard screams. They weren't mine...

    I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

    I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

    So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “let the professionals handle it” anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger…

    That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car…

    I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.

    As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I’ll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.

    And I’ll buy myself a new pair of gloves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jseis View Post
    Is a ukulele player in a mandolin town and banned from all bars by the chief of police unless he leaves his strings and gravy at the front door.

  20. #20
    your nightmare gal chipcom's Avatar
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    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  21. #21
    location:northern Ohio
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10 Wheels View Post
    nom,nom,nom Wheels
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  22. #22
    GONE~
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    I celebrate it everyday!

  23. #23
    I'm Carbon Curious 531phile's Avatar
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    I've notice that east coast squirrels are cuter than west coast one.

    Still, I don't appreciate kamikaze squirrels on my local MUPs.

    Oh and I witnessed two fornicating on top of my neighbor's roof. I could have sworn one of them looked directly into my eyes when they were doing this.

    Quote Originally Posted by avner View Post
    I loled. Twice. Then I cried. Then I rubbed one out and cried again, but thanks for sharing.

  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    Ran over the tail of a slow old squirrel on Wednesday. The rider behind me said part of its tail came off. I did not stop. This was on a part of the local MUP which seems to be home to downtown squirrel condos.

  25. #25
    ÖöÖöÖöÖöÖö Dannihilator's Avatar
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    A good squirrel is one that ceases to be.
    Quote Originally Posted by scrodzilla
    I'm going out on the town tonight and it won't be over until I snort a line of habanero seeds off the hood of a red Fiero.
    Words and Stuff.
    pedal room thingy

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