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Old 02-22-11, 02:13 PM   #1
RubenX 
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Rube' the speeding bullet cyclist - back on the road (RubenX TM story)

It all happened this morning, around 7:30AM. That's when the flock of teenage hipsters get on their pedal-equipped contraptions to go to school. Rube' looks out the window, spotting the first unsuspecting underage contender, and starts a 2 minute counter.

* Warm Temperature, check (you know I'm a temp sissy).
* 110PSI, check.
* Insulated Polar Water Bottle with ice cold water x 2, check.
* Non-squeaky recently lubed chain, check.
* Pearl Izumi gloves in matching red, check.
* ONE FULL MONTH FREE OF CIGARETTES! Hell yeah, check!
....3...2...1...GO!

...Some blocks later *ON YOUR LEFT* (suckah!)...and zoom, 1st one bites the dust. He gets off saddle and tries to sprint, but I'm gone! out of sight on less than 2 blocks. Ahead, group of 3 @ stop sign. They spotted me, formed echelon and sprinted. The one pulling even lost his baseball cap... but resistance is futile... *ON YOUR LEFT!* (suckah!)...

Passed local high school doing 25MPH... Roadie spotted up ahead, riding Cervelo with shiny full gear... TO THE DROPS!! He spotted me, sprints off saddle, goes to drops... I'm closing in... I look back, OH NOES, the hipster sucking mah wheel! I crank up the watts, drop hipster, get side by side with roadie... looked at him, his out of breath... OMG I got this! Paced roadie, keeping eye on hipster behind... roadie drops... hipster still in pursuit (guess he ate his corn flakes this morning). Few more blocks, looked back, hipster is gone... yeah!!!

I completed the loop back home, no more targets were spotted. Got back on the bike in the afternoon, did 10 miles around the neighborhood, averaged 17MPH without really trying very hard. This sport is so much fun when you have working lungs!
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Old 02-22-11, 03:06 PM   #2
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Ego trippin' .........

Keep those cigs away. I would quit too, but then I'd be too fast.
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Old 02-22-11, 03:14 PM   #3
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The only thing I regret from reading this story is not having popcorn.

Congrats on a month of sobriety from the cigs!
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Old 02-22-11, 03:30 PM   #4
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You GO, Ruben!! WOOT!! I'm so proud of you quitting cigs, it's wonderful isn't it? Awesome how you can beat or keep up with all those people with your WalMart bike! I'm impressed!!
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Old 02-22-11, 03:36 PM   #5
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You GO, Ruben!! WOOT!! I'm so proud of you quitting cigs, it's wonderful isn't it? Awesome how you can beat or keep up with all those people with your WalMart bike! I'm impressed!!
Didn't knew Siu could troll.... FYI it's a $899.99 Trek Road Bike.... with a few sub $10 WalMart accessories...
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Old 02-22-11, 03:43 PM   #6
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Rock on (and keep away from those cancer sticks, they slow you down).
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Old 02-22-11, 03:46 PM   #7
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Didn't knew Siu could troll.... FYI it's a $899.99 Trek Road Bike.... with a few sub $10 WalMart accessories...
$900 would have looked a lot better and it would only be a 1 cent lie.
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Old 02-22-11, 03:47 PM   #8
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Didn't knew Siu could troll.... FYI it's a $89.99 Trk Road Bike.... with a few sub $10 WalMart accessories...
Whoops. You accidentally typed in an extra 9 in there and your last words got blended in. Fixed it for you. After all, friends do those type of things.
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Old 02-22-11, 03:53 PM   #9
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Old 02-22-11, 04:04 PM   #10
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Why is it I imagine Ruben behind a bush in his front yard in his cycling outfit, lying in wait for unsuspecting roadies to pass so he can crush them?
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Old 02-22-11, 04:06 PM   #11
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You weren't being pulled by your (potential) new fiance in her car using hard to see fishing filament where you?
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Old 02-22-11, 04:12 PM   #12
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Did you beat Pcad?
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Old 02-22-11, 04:35 PM   #13
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Did you beat Pcad?
Nobody beats Pcad... he rides with apple power. You should know that.
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Old 02-22-11, 04:38 PM   #14
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Why is it I imagine Ruben behind a bush in his front yard in his cycling outfit, lying in wait for unsuspecting roadies to pass so he can crush them?
Actually, I was reminded of a non-frail version of Herbert from Family Guy when I first read the OP.
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Old 02-22-11, 05:37 PM   #15
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Good work Rube. Show them hipstahs who is the boss.
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Old 02-22-11, 05:41 PM   #16
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Does this mean it's warm enough to quit worrying about your heater? Good luck on the not smoking too, bet your lungs felt better as the scenery went blurring by.
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Old 02-22-11, 05:58 PM   #17
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Does this mean it's warm enough to quit worrying about your heater? Good luck on the not smoking too, bet your lungs felt better as the scenery went blurring by.
Mmm smoking in a room with a kerosene or propane heater.

Sounds like fun.
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Old 02-22-11, 07:09 PM   #18
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Does this mean it's warm enough to quit worrying about your heater? Good luck on the not smoking too, bet your lungs felt better as the scenery went blurring by.
Yes... is really hot down here. I have all windows open and I'm tempted to fire up the AC. Funny that my heater haven't arrived yet from Harbor Freight... (they are really slow shipping orders). I'm gonna end up using it as a paper weight until next winter.
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Old 02-22-11, 07:10 PM   #19
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Yes... is really hot down here. I have all windows open and I'm tempted to fire up the AC. Funny that my heater haven't arrived yet from Harbor Freight... (they are really slow shipping orders). I'm gonna end up using it as a paper weight until next winter.
At which point it will no longer work, but it will be past the 9month warranty. WTF a 9 month warranty. What kind of crack is this. Man, Karma you need to stop taking a **** on me.
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Old 02-22-11, 08:20 PM   #20
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That showed some very nice similarities to the first post in the historic R600DuraAce thread. Well done.
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Old 02-22-11, 09:10 PM   #21
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Well done!
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Old 02-22-11, 09:18 PM   #22
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Best thing I read all week!
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Old 02-22-11, 09:41 PM   #23
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You really droped the hamer!
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