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  1. #1
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Rube' the speeding bullet cyclist - back on the road (RubenX TM story)

    It all happened this morning, around 7:30AM. That's when the flock of teenage hipsters get on their pedal-equipped contraptions to go to school. Rube' looks out the window, spotting the first unsuspecting underage contender, and starts a 2 minute counter.

    * Warm Temperature, check (you know I'm a temp sissy).
    * 110PSI, check.
    * Insulated Polar Water Bottle with ice cold water x 2, check.
    * Non-squeaky recently lubed chain, check.
    * Pearl Izumi gloves in matching red, check.
    * ONE FULL MONTH FREE OF CIGARETTES! Hell yeah, check!
    ....3...2...1...GO!

    ...Some blocks later *ON YOUR LEFT* (suckah!)...and zoom, 1st one bites the dust. He gets off saddle and tries to sprint, but I'm gone! out of sight on less than 2 blocks. Ahead, group of 3 @ stop sign. They spotted me, formed echelon and sprinted. The one pulling even lost his baseball cap... but resistance is futile... *ON YOUR LEFT!* (suckah!)...

    Passed local high school doing 25MPH... Roadie spotted up ahead, riding Cervelo with shiny full gear... TO THE DROPS!! He spotted me, sprints off saddle, goes to drops... I'm closing in... I look back, OH NOES, the hipster sucking mah wheel! I crank up the watts, drop hipster, get side by side with roadie... looked at him, his out of breath... OMG I got this! Paced roadie, keeping eye on hipster behind... roadie drops... hipster still in pursuit (guess he ate his corn flakes this morning). Few more blocks, looked back, hipster is gone... yeah!!!

    I completed the loop back home, no more targets were spotted. Got back on the bike in the afternoon, did 10 miles around the neighborhood, averaged 17MPH without really trying very hard. This sport is so much fun when you have working lungs!
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  2. #2
    Peripheral Visionary spock's Avatar
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    Ego trippin' .........

    Keep those cigs away. I would quit too, but then I'd be too fast.

  3. #3
    Senior Member somedood's Avatar
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    The only thing I regret from reading this story is not having popcorn.

    Congrats on a month of sobriety from the cigs!

  4. #4
    ` Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    You GO, Ruben!! WOOT!! I'm so proud of you quitting cigs, it's wonderful isn't it? Awesome how you can beat or keep up with all those people with your WalMart bike! I'm impressed!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  5. #5
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    You GO, Ruben!! WOOT!! I'm so proud of you quitting cigs, it's wonderful isn't it? Awesome how you can beat or keep up with all those people with your WalMart bike! I'm impressed!!
    Didn't knew Siu could troll.... FYI it's a $899.99 Trek Road Bike.... with a few sub $10 WalMart accessories...
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  6. #6
    Senior Member himespau's Avatar
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    Rock on (and keep away from those cancer sticks, they slow you down).

  7. #7
    Peripheral Visionary spock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    Didn't knew Siu could troll.... FYI it's a $899.99 Trek Road Bike.... with a few sub $10 WalMart accessories...
    $900 would have looked a lot better and it would only be a 1 cent lie.

  8. #8
    ` Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    Didn't knew Siu could troll.... FYI it's a $89.99 Trk Road Bike.... with a few sub $10 WalMart accessories...
    Whoops. You accidentally typed in an extra 9 in there and your last words got blended in. Fixed it for you. After all, friends do those type of things.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  9. #9
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  10. #10
    derailleurs are overrated bigbenaugust's Avatar
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    Why is it I imagine Ruben behind a bush in his front yard in his cycling outfit, lying in wait for unsuspecting roadies to pass so he can crush them?
    --Ben
    Carrboro Bike Coalition - putting the "bike" in "CARrboro" :)
    2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX
    Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011), 2011 Windsor Shetland (2011-2014)
    Non-Bike hardware: Arch Linux - openSUSE 13.2 / Mac OS 10.6 - openSUSE Tumbleweed

  11. #11
    Senior Member himespau's Avatar
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    You weren't being pulled by your (potential) new fiance in her car using hard to see fishing filament where you?

  12. #12
    Senior Member tuxbailey's Avatar
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    Did you beat Pcad?

  13. #13
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuxbailey View Post
    Did you beat Pcad?
    Nobody beats Pcad... he rides with apple power. You should know that.
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  14. #14
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigbenaugust View Post
    Why is it I imagine Ruben behind a bush in his front yard in his cycling outfit, lying in wait for unsuspecting roadies to pass so he can crush them?
    Actually, I was reminded of a non-frail version of Herbert from Family Guy when I first read the OP.
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mikeybikes's Avatar
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    Good work Rube. Show them hipstahs who is the boss.
    My Bikes: 2010 Breezer Uptown EX | 1980 Miyata 610 | 1970 Hercules | 198? Miele ?
    Wife's Bike: 2008 Globe City 7

    My Blog, a mix of bicycling, tech, and family.

  16. #16
    Senior Member no motor?'s Avatar
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    Does this mean it's warm enough to quit worrying about your heater? Good luck on the not smoking too, bet your lungs felt better as the scenery went blurring by.

  17. #17
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
    Does this mean it's warm enough to quit worrying about your heater? Good luck on the not smoking too, bet your lungs felt better as the scenery went blurring by.
    Mmm smoking in a room with a kerosene or propane heater.

    Sounds like fun.
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  18. #18
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
    Does this mean it's warm enough to quit worrying about your heater? Good luck on the not smoking too, bet your lungs felt better as the scenery went blurring by.
    Yes... is really hot down here. I have all windows open and I'm tempted to fire up the AC. Funny that my heater haven't arrived yet from Harbor Freight... (they are really slow shipping orders). I'm gonna end up using it as a paper weight until next winter.
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  19. #19
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    Yes... is really hot down here. I have all windows open and I'm tempted to fire up the AC. Funny that my heater haven't arrived yet from Harbor Freight... (they are really slow shipping orders). I'm gonna end up using it as a paper weight until next winter.
    At which point it will no longer work, but it will be past the 9month warranty. WTF a 9 month warranty. What kind of crack is this. Man, Karma you need to stop taking a **** on me.
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  20. #20
    Senior Member
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    That showed some very nice similarities to the first post in the historic R600DuraAce thread. Well done.

  21. #21
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Well done!

  22. #22
    Lost Again gitarzan's Avatar
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    Best thing I read all week!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jseis View Post
    Is a ukulele player in a mandolin town and banned from all bars by the chief of police unless he leaves his strings and gravy at the front door.

  23. #23
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    You really droped the hamer!
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

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