Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28
  1. #1
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ efrobert's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Somewhere in Colorado.
    Posts
    254
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Always trust your instincts. Always.

    It's amazing how you can just know something with out actually knowing it.
    I've been dating this girl for almost a year and it's been great, every weekend we would spent camping, skiing, biking... We just had so much ion common it was great. She started acting weird around the holidays and told me she wanted to see other people. At 42 This is the first time in her life she's been really on her own. She was married at 19 to her first husband, then met her second husband right after her 1st divorce. She been divorced from him for a couple of years. She had just found out her ex husband was moving in with his girl friend. It really kind of effected her, and she wanted to make sure I knew she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I told her I wasn't either.
    Anyway, I told her I wasn't cool with seeing other people and backed off and let her decide what she wanted. Well she wanted to keep seeing me and things were back to normal. It was great again until a couple of weeks ago. I just sensed something was different. I asked her what was up, if there was someone else and she just told me no, she just had a lot of stress at work and other things.
    I knew something was up, I just knew it. I was over her house yesterday and I sensed something was just strange. I was in her bathroom and I don't know why, but I decided to look in her little trash can and sure enough I found a condom... She finally came clean about things. It sucks.
    Finding the condom just confirmed that my instincts were right on the money.

  2. #2
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SW Ontario
    My Bikes
    2005 Trek 6700 disc 2007 Orbea Onix 2009 Raleigh One Way
    Posts
    585
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    That really sucks, especially when you guys had such a great start.

  3. #3
    BF Risk Manager
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Snohomish County, Washington USA
    My Bikes
    Road, mountain and folding
    Posts
    896
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    This is why I always flush the condom. To remove any forensic evidence.
    Regards, MillCreek
    Snohomish County, Washington USA

  4. #4
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    West West Fort Worth
    My Bikes
    Mongoose XR-100, Eros Bianchi
    Posts
    4,286
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by MillCreek View Post
    This is why I always flush the condom. To remove any forensic evidence.
    On one hand +5. On the other hand
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  5. #5
    Chief Slacking Officer ms.gio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    The City by the Lake
    My Bikes
    Fuji Track SE, Cannondale R300
    Posts
    189
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'm so sorry efrobert. *hug*
    Quote Originally Posted by x136 View Post
    Giolander: There can be only one.
    Giodome: Several impostors enter, only the real one leaves?

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    57
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'm sorry to hear this bro. You have a "Couch Mang Hug" sent your way.

    Couch

  7. #7
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    10,476
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sorry that this happened but not sorry that it happened now. Could have happened when you DID feel ready for a commitment. Better get yourself checked, my friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,793
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It sucks, man; it really does. Been there, 1st marriage ended like that. After a long time of carrying resentment, I realized that if #1 hadn't left, I'd have never met #2, who gave me my darling daughter (now 13!). Of course, it might have been better if #2 had stuck around, too, but I'm good with that, as well.

    A lot of women in that spot will say "It's not you, it's me"; they don't MEAN it, but they are right. Don't carry any guilt... I MEAN it!

    It's why I'm a dedicated and unattached bachelor now, and plan to stay that way; time to be good to ME. (AND my daughter, of COURSE; that's a reward beyond words!)

  9. #9
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,503
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    she sounds really mixed up and one of those women who is really dependent and needy. Count yourself lucky.
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Portland
    Posts
    540
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sorry it had to happen that way. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.

  11. #11
    Senior Member 009jim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Australia
    My Bikes
    Giant CRX3, Trek 7100
    Posts
    1,287
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What's the fuss about? Expecting a woman of any age not to grab something tasty on the side is a bit far fetched. You can't expect them to lay aside 50,000 years of evolutionary programming to suit your expectations. My recommendation is to just act cool about it and if a few tit-bits drop off the table when you around life will be just that much more exciting. Make sure you are not paying her bills though.

  12. #12
    Cool Beans MangoPumpkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Lancaster County, PA
    My Bikes
    Raleigh Cadent
    Posts
    165
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sorry that happened to you, it's not a good feeling.

    *hugs*
    I've got your restraining order right here. [grabs crotch] Restrain this!

  13. #13
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    10,476
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by 009jim View Post
    What's the fuss about? Expecting a woman of any age not to grab something tasty on the side is a bit far fetched. You can't expect them to lay aside 50,000 years of evolutionary programming to suit your expectations. .
    Huh. I must be the odd ball then. *shrugs*
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  14. #14
    Senior Member travelmama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Long Beach,CA
    My Bikes
    Kona Ute, Nishiki 4130, Trek 7000, K2 Mach 1.0, Novara Randonee, Schwinn Loop, K2 Zed 1.0, Schwinn Cream, Torker Boardwalk
    Posts
    1,411
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by wabbit View Post
    she sounds really mixed up and one of those women who is really dependent and needy. Count yourself lucky.
    Yes!

    Quote Originally Posted by ____asdfghjkl View Post
    Sorry it had to happen that way. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
    See above.
    Two Wheels One Love

  15. #15
    Unobtanium-Based Lifeform calamarichris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Carlsbad, CA
    My Bikes
    '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
    Posts
    5,109
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The nice thing about hooking up with an effed-up b-word like this is you get to be the good guy.
    There's no hemming or hawing about why things didn't work out, about you being too picky, or wondering how things could have been. She was a bald-faced liar and you found out without catching any diseases or paying child support for kids that may or not be yours.
    It might not seem like it to you right now, but tonight I'll drink a toast to Efrobert's good fortune! (Just try not to get addicted to being 'the good guy'.)

  16. #16
    Senior Member longbeachgary's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Beautiful Long Beach California
    My Bikes
    Eddy Merckx MXL; 2012 CAAD10; 2013 CAAD10 - The Silver and Black; Cannondale CAAD10 DI2 - The Black Dahlia; 2013 Cannondale CAAD10 DI2, The Black Mambo
    Posts
    3,274
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
    It's amazing how you can just know something with out actually knowing it.
    I've been dating this girl for almost a year and it's been great, every weekend we would spent camping, skiing, biking... We just had so much ion common it was great. She started acting weird around the holidays and told me she wanted to see other people. At 42 This is the first time in her life she's been really on her own. She was married at 19 to her first husband, then met her second husband right after her 1st divorce. She been divorced from him for a couple of years. She had just found out her ex husband was moving in with his girl friend. It really kind of effected her, and she wanted to make sure I knew she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I told her I wasn't either.
    Anyway, I told her I wasn't cool with seeing other people and backed off and let her decide what she wanted. Well she wanted to keep seeing me and things were back to normal. It was great again until a couple of weeks ago. I just sensed something was different. I asked her what was up, if there was someone else and she just told me no, she just had a lot of stress at work and other things.
    I knew something was up, I just knew it. I was over her house yesterday and I sensed something was just strange. I was in her bathroom and I don't know why, but I decided to look in her little trash can and sure enough I found a condom... She finally came clean about things. It sucks.
    Finding the condom just confirmed that my instincts were right on the money.
    She was fairly honest....

  17. #17
    Senior Member Flying Merkel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Costa Mesa CA
    Posts
    2,520
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by calamarichris View Post
    ....................................... (Just try not to get addicted to being 'the good guy'.)
    That's a mistake I made more than once. Got over it, dumped my self-centered overweight alcholholic GF and moved on. Met a gorgeous sandy blond outdoorsy chick who was the epitome of San Diego surfer chick. And a screwed-up mess who was whiny and manipulative. No Mr. nice guy this time. Saved a lot of time & grief. Met a wonderful women who looked just like Cher when Cher was in her primest of primes. Married 8 years.

    Easy for me to say, but you dodged a bullet.

  18. #18
    Unobtanium-Based Lifeform calamarichris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Carlsbad, CA
    My Bikes
    '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
    Posts
    5,109
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
    It was great again until a couple of weeks ago. I just sensed something was different. I asked her what was up, if there was someone else and she just told me no, she just had a lot of stress at work and other things.....
    Quote Originally Posted by longbeachgary View Post
    She was fairly honest....
    Error... Does not compute... Reboot morality program... Error...

  19. #19
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    Location
    Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia - passionfruit capital of the universe!
    Posts
    9,622
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by calamarichris View Post
    Error... Does not compute... Reboot morality program... Error...
    Well, in truth the "fairly honest" bit was half right. She did tell the OP she wanted to see other people "around the holidays". This is one of the classic signs that a person is not ready for a serious monogamous relationship. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as there are a lot of reasons to maintain a "friend with benefits" if you're not serious with anyone else. But if you're looking to be the only one, there's no point persisting after you hear this line because it just aint gonna happen.

    Another interesting thing is that she just "happened" to meet her second husband right after the divorce from her first. That's a pretty remarkable coincidence, doncha think? Her first marriage falls apart and this guy just happens to ride in from the sunset and sweep her off her feet. Some might actually believe it, others might see it as yet another red flag. There's a good chance husband #2 had inside information on the situation with husband #1 if you catch my drift.

    Meh, the OP dodged a bullet here. You're better off living alone than trying to make something work in that situation.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
    My blog.
    My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.

  20. #20
    Pants are for suckaz HandsomeRyan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Mt. Airy, MD
    My Bikes
    Hardtail MTB, Fixed gear, and Commuter bike
    Posts
    2,579
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    That sucks. I had an ex run off with a close friend.

    Bright side- I reconnected with my high school sweetheart and we'll be celebrating 4 years of marriage this fall.

  21. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    92
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
    Sorry that this happened but not sorry that it happened now. Could have happened when you DID feel ready for a commitment.
    ^^^ silver lining.

  22. #22
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    My Bikes
    Diamondback Sorrento turned Xtracycle commuter
    Posts
    1,414
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by 009jim View Post
    What's the fuss about? Expecting a woman of any age not to grab something tasty on the side is a bit far fetched. You can't expect them to lay aside 50,000 years of evolutionary programming to suit your expectations. My recommendation is to just act cool about it and if a few tit-bits drop off the table when you around life will be just that much more exciting. Make sure you are not paying her bills though.
    Sorry, guys. I've been experimenting with my 1700's wormhole technology.

    Efro, sorry that thing combusted.
    Shameless plug (my sites):
    Photography
    Vanity
    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  23. #23
    Me and the cat... Pamestique's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Tustin, CA
    My Bikes
    2002 Lemond Zurich, 2006 Santa Cruz Superlight, 2010 Landshark, 2012 Santa Cruz Juliana, 2014 Juliana Premiero Origin 29er and last but not least, the "Frankenweenie"!
    Posts
    4,419
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by longbeachgary View Post
    She was fairly honest....
    No not really... what she should have said is "let me be honest... this isn't working and I've started seeing other guys but if you want to keep taking me out and spending money on me... do so until someone better comes along and then I'm out of here..."

    That would have been honest.

    Sorry dude. Lesson learned for everyone - if your gf or bf starts the "let's see others" crap end it and move on. It's not worth the waste of time. Just remember you ARE better than that and deserve more. And "friends with benefits" just means more opportunities to catch a bad disease. No sex is that important!
    ______________________________________________________________

    Private docent led mountain bike rides through Limestone Canyon. Go to letsgooutside.org and register today! Also available: hikes, equestrian rides and family events as well as trail maintenance and science study.

  24. #24
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    10,476
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    +1. Good post, Pam.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  25. #25
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    My Bikes
    Diamondback Sorrento turned Xtracycle commuter
    Posts
    1,414
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Pamestique View Post
    And "friends with benefits" just means more opportunities to catch a bad disease.
    Only if you have poor taste in your fwb's and you don't use protection. Don't be hatin' on the casual sex.
    Shameless plug (my sites):
    Photography
    Vanity
    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •