Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-13-11, 09:45 AM   #1
efrobert
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Thread Starter
 
efrobert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Somewhere in Colorado.
Bikes:
Posts: 255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Always trust your instincts. Always.

It's amazing how you can just know something with out actually knowing it.
I've been dating this girl for almost a year and it's been great, every weekend we would spent camping, skiing, biking... We just had so much ion common it was great. She started acting weird around the holidays and told me she wanted to see other people. At 42 This is the first time in her life she's been really on her own. She was married at 19 to her first husband, then met her second husband right after her 1st divorce. She been divorced from him for a couple of years. She had just found out her ex husband was moving in with his girl friend. It really kind of effected her, and she wanted to make sure I knew she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I told her I wasn't either.
Anyway, I told her I wasn't cool with seeing other people and backed off and let her decide what she wanted. Well she wanted to keep seeing me and things were back to normal. It was great again until a couple of weeks ago. I just sensed something was different. I asked her what was up, if there was someone else and she just told me no, she just had a lot of stress at work and other things.
I knew something was up, I just knew it. I was over her house yesterday and I sensed something was just strange. I was in her bathroom and I don't know why, but I decided to look in her little trash can and sure enough I found a condom... She finally came clean about things. It sucks.
Finding the condom just confirmed that my instincts were right on the money.
efrobert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 09:55 AM   #2
Alfster 
long time visiter
 
Alfster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: in the Northern Tundra
Bikes: 2005 Trek 6700 disc 2007 Orbea Onix 2009 Raleigh One Way
Posts: 615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That really sucks, especially when you guys had such a great start.
Alfster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 11:05 AM   #3
MillCreek
BF Risk Manager
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Snohomish County, Washington USA
Bikes: Road, mountain and folding
Posts: 895
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
This is why I always flush the condom. To remove any forensic evidence.
MillCreek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 11:08 AM   #4
TexasGuy
That darn Yankee
 
TexasGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: West West Fort Worth
Bikes: Mongoose XR-100, Eros Bianchi
Posts: 4,286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillCreek View Post
This is why I always flush the condom. To remove any forensic evidence.
On one hand +5. On the other hand
__________________
Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
"Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
So many sayings, so little sig space.
TexasGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 12:24 PM   #5
ms.gio
Chief Slacking Officer
 
ms.gio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The City by the Lake
Bikes: Fuji Track SE, Cannondale R300
Posts: 189
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so sorry efrobert. *hug*
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by x136 View Post
Giolander: There can be only one.
Giodome: Several impostors enter, only the real one leaves?
ms.gio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 12:52 PM   #6
Couch
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Bikes:
Posts: 57
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry to hear this bro. You have a "Couch Mang Hug" sent your way.

Couch
Couch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 06:31 PM   #7
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 43 Post(s)
Sorry that this happened but not sorry that it happened now. Could have happened when you DID feel ready for a commitment. Better get yourself checked, my friend.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 09:54 PM   #8
DX-MAN
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Bikes:
Posts: 4,789
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It sucks, man; it really does. Been there, 1st marriage ended like that. After a long time of carrying resentment, I realized that if #1 hadn't left, I'd have never met #2, who gave me my darling daughter (now 13!). Of course, it might have been better if #2 had stuck around, too, but I'm good with that, as well.

A lot of women in that spot will say "It's not you, it's me"; they don't MEAN it, but they are right. Don't carry any guilt... I MEAN it!

It's why I'm a dedicated and unattached bachelor now, and plan to stay that way; time to be good to ME. (AND my daughter, of COURSE; that's a reward beyond words!)
DX-MAN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-11, 10:03 PM   #9
wabbit
Sprockette
 
wabbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Canada
Bikes:
Posts: 5,503
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
she sounds really mixed up and one of those women who is really dependent and needy. Count yourself lucky.
__________________
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.
wabbit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 12:34 AM   #10
____asdfghjkl
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Portland
Bikes:
Posts: 541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry it had to happen that way. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
____asdfghjkl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 01:29 AM   #11
009jim
Senior Member
 
009jim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Australia
Bikes: Giant CRX3, Trek 7100
Posts: 1,288
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What's the fuss about? Expecting a woman of any age not to grab something tasty on the side is a bit far fetched. You can't expect them to lay aside 50,000 years of evolutionary programming to suit your expectations. My recommendation is to just act cool about it and if a few tit-bits drop off the table when you around life will be just that much more exciting. Make sure you are not paying her bills though.
009jim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 05:04 AM   #12
MangoPumpkin 
Cool Beans
 
MangoPumpkin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Lancaster County, PA
Bikes: Raleigh Cadent
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry that happened to you, it's not a good feeling.

*hugs*
__________________
I've got your restraining order right here. [grabs crotch] Restrain this!
MangoPumpkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 07:50 AM   #13
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 43 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 009jim View Post
What's the fuss about? Expecting a woman of any age not to grab something tasty on the side is a bit far fetched. You can't expect them to lay aside 50,000 years of evolutionary programming to suit your expectations. .
Huh. I must be the odd ball then. *shrugs*
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 09:43 AM   #14
travelmama
Senior Member
 
travelmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Long Beach,CA
Bikes: Kona Ute, Nishiki 4130, Trek 7000, K2 Mach 1.0, Novara Randonee, Schwinn Loop, K2 Zed 1.0, Schwinn Cream, Torker Boardwalk
Posts: 1,410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wabbit View Post
she sounds really mixed up and one of those women who is really dependent and needy. Count yourself lucky.
Yes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ____asdfghjkl View Post
Sorry it had to happen that way. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
See above.
travelmama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 12:38 PM   #15
calamarichris
Horse Categorie
 
calamarichris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Carlsbad, CA
Bikes: '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
Posts: 5,740
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
The nice thing about hooking up with an effed-up b-word like this is you get to be the good guy.
There's no hemming or hawing about why things didn't work out, about you being too picky, or wondering how things could have been. She was a bald-faced liar and you found out without catching any diseases or paying child support for kids that may or not be yours.
It might not seem like it to you right now, but tonight I'll drink a toast to Efrobert's good fortune! (Just try not to get addicted to being 'the good guy'.)
calamarichris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 12:43 PM   #16
longbeachgary
Senior Member
 
longbeachgary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Beautiful Long Beach California
Bikes: Eddy Merckx Sallanches 64 (2); Eddy Merckx MXL; 2012 CAAD10; 2013 Cannondale CAAD10 DI2, The Black Mambo
Posts: 3,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
It's amazing how you can just know something with out actually knowing it.
I've been dating this girl for almost a year and it's been great, every weekend we would spent camping, skiing, biking... We just had so much ion common it was great. She started acting weird around the holidays and told me she wanted to see other people. At 42 This is the first time in her life she's been really on her own. She was married at 19 to her first husband, then met her second husband right after her 1st divorce. She been divorced from him for a couple of years. She had just found out her ex husband was moving in with his girl friend. It really kind of effected her, and she wanted to make sure I knew she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I told her I wasn't either.
Anyway, I told her I wasn't cool with seeing other people and backed off and let her decide what she wanted. Well she wanted to keep seeing me and things were back to normal. It was great again until a couple of weeks ago. I just sensed something was different. I asked her what was up, if there was someone else and she just told me no, she just had a lot of stress at work and other things.
I knew something was up, I just knew it. I was over her house yesterday and I sensed something was just strange. I was in her bathroom and I don't know why, but I decided to look in her little trash can and sure enough I found a condom... She finally came clean about things. It sucks.
Finding the condom just confirmed that my instincts were right on the money.
She was fairly honest....
longbeachgary is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 12:46 PM   #17
Flying Merkel
Senior Member
 
Flying Merkel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Costa Mesa CA
Bikes:
Posts: 2,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by calamarichris View Post
....................................... (Just try not to get addicted to being 'the good guy'.)
That's a mistake I made more than once. Got over it, dumped my self-centered overweight alcholholic GF and moved on. Met a gorgeous sandy blond outdoorsy chick who was the epitome of San Diego surfer chick. And a screwed-up mess who was whiny and manipulative. No Mr. nice guy this time. Saved a lot of time & grief. Met a wonderful women who looked just like Cher when Cher was in her primest of primes. Married 8 years.

Easy for me to say, but you dodged a bullet.
Flying Merkel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-11, 01:50 PM   #18
calamarichris
Horse Categorie
 
calamarichris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Carlsbad, CA
Bikes: '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
Posts: 5,740
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
It was great again until a couple of weeks ago. I just sensed something was different. I asked her what was up, if there was someone else and she just told me no, she just had a lot of stress at work and other things.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by longbeachgary View Post
She was fairly honest....
Error... Does not compute... Reboot morality program... Error...
calamarichris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 01:20 AM   #19
Chris L
Every lane is a bike lane
 
Chris L's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia - passionfruit capital of the universe!
Bikes:
Posts: 9,626
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by calamarichris View Post
Error... Does not compute... Reboot morality program... Error...
Well, in truth the "fairly honest" bit was half right. She did tell the OP she wanted to see other people "around the holidays". This is one of the classic signs that a person is not ready for a serious monogamous relationship. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as there are a lot of reasons to maintain a "friend with benefits" if you're not serious with anyone else. But if you're looking to be the only one, there's no point persisting after you hear this line because it just aint gonna happen.

Another interesting thing is that she just "happened" to meet her second husband right after the divorce from her first. That's a pretty remarkable coincidence, doncha think? Her first marriage falls apart and this guy just happens to ride in from the sunset and sweep her off her feet. Some might actually believe it, others might see it as yet another red flag. There's a good chance husband #2 had inside information on the situation with husband #1 if you catch my drift.

Meh, the OP dodged a bullet here. You're better off living alone than trying to make something work in that situation.
__________________
"I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
"We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
My blog.
My bike tours. Japan tour page under construction.
Chris L is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 09:12 AM   #20
HandsomeRyan
Pants are for suckaz
 
HandsomeRyan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Mt. Airy, MD
Bikes: Hardtail MTB, Fixed gear, and Commuter bike
Posts: 2,578
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That sucks. I had an ex run off with a close friend.

Bright side- I reconnected with my high school sweetheart and we'll be celebrating 4 years of marriage this fall.
HandsomeRyan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 01:58 PM   #21
joewey
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Bikes:
Posts: 92
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
Sorry that this happened but not sorry that it happened now. Could have happened when you DID feel ready for a commitment.
^^^ silver lining.
joewey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 02:13 PM   #22
SingingSabre 
BF's Level 12 Wizard
 
SingingSabre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Tucson, AZ
Bikes: Diamondback Sorrento turned Xtracycle commuter
Posts: 1,425
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 009jim View Post
What's the fuss about? Expecting a woman of any age not to grab something tasty on the side is a bit far fetched. You can't expect them to lay aside 50,000 years of evolutionary programming to suit your expectations. My recommendation is to just act cool about it and if a few tit-bits drop off the table when you around life will be just that much more exciting. Make sure you are not paying her bills though.
Sorry, guys. I've been experimenting with my 1700's wormhole technology.

Efro, sorry that thing combusted.
__________________
Shameless plug (my sites):
Work
Photography
Vanity
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bklyn
Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
SingingSabre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 03:09 PM   #23
Pamestique 
Shredding Grandma!
 
Pamestique's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: So Cal
Bikes: I don't own any bikes
Posts: 4,795
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by longbeachgary View Post
She was fairly honest....
No not really... what she should have said is "let me be honest... this isn't working and I've started seeing other guys but if you want to keep taking me out and spending money on me... do so until someone better comes along and then I'm out of here..."

That would have been honest.

Sorry dude. Lesson learned for everyone - if your gf or bf starts the "let's see others" crap end it and move on. It's not worth the waste of time. Just remember you ARE better than that and deserve more. And "friends with benefits" just means more opportunities to catch a bad disease. No sex is that important!
__________________
______________________________________________________________

Private docent led mountain bike rides through Limestone Canyon. Go to letsgooutside.org and register today! Also available: hikes, equestrian rides and family events as well as trail maintenance and science study.
Pamestique is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 03:29 PM   #24
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 43 Post(s)
+1. Good post, Pam.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-11, 03:31 PM   #25
SingingSabre 
BF's Level 12 Wizard
 
SingingSabre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Tucson, AZ
Bikes: Diamondback Sorrento turned Xtracycle commuter
Posts: 1,425
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pamestique View Post
And "friends with benefits" just means more opportunities to catch a bad disease.
Only if you have poor taste in your fwb's and you don't use protection. Don't be hatin' on the casual sex.
__________________
Shameless plug (my sites):
Work
Photography
Vanity
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bklyn
Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
SingingSabre is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:14 AM.