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Old 04-26-11, 01:23 PM   #1
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Beating the system: how to get booze onto a cruise ship??

My buddy's getting married on a cruise this fall and I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink, so I figured I'd bring my own. So far the general consensus is a listerine bottle filled with similar colored liquor of choice.

My questions is how far do they go into checking this? Is it a baggage scan? Do they just visually inspect? I haven't been on a cruise since i was a kid, so I didn't really scope out future booze-smuggling possibilities. The cruise will be with Carnival. I know I can bring a bottle of wine, so I'll likely un-cork that, fill it with whiskey, then re-cork and cover with wax or something. My friends and I are grateful for your contributions...
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Old 04-26-11, 01:49 PM   #2
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Hide it in your trousers. They'll never question a whiskey bottle-sized bulge in your pants. If they do, tell them it's a tumor, then sue for harassment.
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Old 04-26-11, 01:53 PM   #3
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Just sayin, you might need to keep up on your oral hygiene
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Old 04-26-11, 01:59 PM   #4
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Hang your head in shame... you call yourself an alcoholic?






And of course you can bring an additional, wrapped wedding gift. (Just make sure it's smaller than a washer/dryer box.)
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Old 04-26-11, 02:43 PM   #5
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Those small flat liquor bottles(@12oz?)will fit into an inside pocket in light jacket,side pocket,small of back under your belt.
No metal flasks,only glass or plastic so the scanners cannot pick it up.

Show up in and electric wheelchair with the empty battery cases. Fill with 12 bottles of Captain Morgan in the empty cases.Have someone push you up the gang-plank.
How bad do you want to drink?
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Old 04-26-11, 03:01 PM   #6
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My Druncle John had a fake club in his golf bag that held more than three quarts (usually pre-mixed manhattan.) It was so much fun using that thing that it almost became a problem. At the less hoity-toity courses, we were already drinking two beers per hole each, so adding whiskey drinks to that was just plain irresponsible. Lucky for him, he died about the same time drunk drive became such a serious offense.
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the RumRunner flasks look to be about the most no-nonsense approach to boatlegging.

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Old 04-26-11, 03:02 PM   #7
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Can't you snarf pounds and pounds of fruit off the buffet line? Just bring that back to your cabin and ferment to a reasonable percentage of alcohol and then you can use a reading lamp to distill it up to high octane if you really need to get the volume down.
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Old 04-26-11, 03:03 PM   #8
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^I wonder if that would really work.
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Old 04-26-11, 03:04 PM   #9
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My buddy's getting married on a cruise this fall and I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink, so I figured I'd bring my own. So far the general consensus is a listerine bottle filled with similar colored liquor of choice.
One crummy bottle? That's not that much booze.

In any case, Listerine contains a decent percentage of alcohol so you could bring plenty of that, get wasted, and have fresh breath to boot.

Bring your bottle of Listerine plus a water bottle filled vodka. Worst case scenario is that you complain that your buddies pranked you and they take it away.

Alternatively, bring a watermelon on board that has been injected with your hooch of choice.
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Old 04-26-11, 03:24 PM   #10
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Listerine bottles work well. If you soak a plastic bottle of gatorade in some really, really hot water for a little while, you can remove the top without breaking the plastic ring at the bottom off. Pour out the contents and refill with the appropriate food color corrected clear alcohol of choice. Put the top back on. This route give the most bang for the buck, particularly if you use pure grain alcohol that can be added to mixers. Coors beers cans fit inside pringles potato chip tubes. If your travel with a medical professional, IV bags can be filled with a whole slew of various alcohols.
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Old 04-26-11, 04:34 PM   #11
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Old 04-26-11, 04:46 PM   #12
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gp beat me too it. the recent surgery was a beotch, and now you have to use that colostomy bag. Made more the one nfl security guy turn pale as he felt it up.
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Old 04-26-11, 04:47 PM   #13
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I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink...
Let's file this one under "Things not to tell your AA sponsor."
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Old 04-26-11, 05:07 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Bikernator View Post
My buddy's getting married on a cruise this fall and I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink, so I figured I'd bring my own. So far the general consensus is a listerine bottle filled with similar colored liquor of choice.

My questions is how far do they go into checking this? Is it a baggage scan? Do they just visually inspect? I haven't been on a cruise since i was a kid, so I didn't really scope out future booze-smuggling possibilities. The cruise will be with Carnival. I know I can bring a bottle of wine, so I'll likely un-cork that, fill it with whiskey, then re-cork and cover with wax or something. My friends and I are grateful for your contributions...
Right. Have you ever thought that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I really don't think it would go down well if you got so drunk that you fell off the side of the boat at your friends wedding or that the ship was forced to divert to a port so that you could be escorted off for smuggling or drunk and disorderly.

Anthony
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Old 04-26-11, 05:49 PM   #15
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Do they serve Yoo-Hoo on the ship? Maybe you should smuggle some of that instead.
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Old 04-26-11, 06:07 PM   #16
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Is the ship stopping in Puerto Rico?

Yoo-Hoo + PR rum = Diaper Stripes
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Old 04-26-11, 06:16 PM   #17
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The last cruise I took, I brought the booze back on board from the ports of call, it went through the scanner and no-one said a word.
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Old 04-26-11, 06:28 PM   #18
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Whoa, sounds like the forum in general has a problem (or has the same solution for life's problems). A lot of things I hadn't seen or thought of yet. Especially from those of you discouraging binge drinking. Tsk tsk. Anywho, I think the Rum Runner flasks are my ticket, though the colostomy bag is my favorite.

I tried to talk the guy out of it, but he refused to be budged, so now if I'm going to drop a grand on his wedding cruise instead of a dive trip, of course I have no problem with it, but I'm doing it on my own terms. I already agreed to not being a drunken slob at dinner, and it helps that there's someone way more out of control than me going. We were roommates in college, it's not like he doesn't know what's coming...
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Old 04-26-11, 06:41 PM   #19
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You could inject the alcohol into plums, then smuggle them aboard in your plum smugglers.

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Old 04-26-11, 07:44 PM   #20
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Right. Have you ever thought that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I really don't think it would go down well if you got so drunk that you fell off the side of the boat at your friends wedding or that the ship was forced to divert to a port so that you could be escorted off for smuggling or drunk and disorderly.
Anthony
On one hand I agree, on the other hand smuggling booze on to cruise ships is like smuggling candy and soda into movie theaters. It's practically a cultural past time, and after the admission fee nobody feels bad.
Note: I neither drink nor go on cruises, I just know plenty of people who do and like to combine them.
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Old 04-26-11, 07:57 PM   #21
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I can't imagine being on a cruise ship while sober. <Shudder>
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Old 04-26-11, 08:16 PM   #22
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The last cruise I took, I brought the booze back on board from the ports of call, it went through the scanner and no-one said a word.
^^This. What ports of call are you going to? In Mexico you can get off the boat and hit local restaurants that cater to tourists with 99-cent margaritas.
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Old 04-26-11, 09:45 PM   #23
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Bring your dog with the decanter leg
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Old 04-26-11, 10:02 PM   #24
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Rank amateurs, the lot of you.

80oz of your libation of choice, toting around in plain-ish view: The Beer Belly. How much damage could you do with a little over a half gallon of 151 or Everclear? NOW you're prepared to go ruin someone's wedding right and farking proper.
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Old 04-26-11, 10:32 PM   #25
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Rank amateurs, the lot of you.

80oz of your libation of choice, toting around in plain-ish view: The Beer Belly. How much damage could you do with a little over a half gallon of 151 or Everclear? NOW you're prepared to go ruin someone's wedding right and farking proper.
LOL - I guess I would have to go with the Wine Rack, yes?
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