Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 47
  1. #1
    Below Par Bikernator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Broken Arrow, OK
    My Bikes
    '08 Giant Rincon
    Posts
    116
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Beating the system: how to get booze onto a cruise ship??

    My buddy's getting married on a cruise this fall and I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink, so I figured I'd bring my own. So far the general consensus is a listerine bottle filled with similar colored liquor of choice.

    My questions is how far do they go into checking this? Is it a baggage scan? Do they just visually inspect? I haven't been on a cruise since i was a kid, so I didn't really scope out future booze-smuggling possibilities. The cruise will be with Carnival. I know I can bring a bottle of wine, so I'll likely un-cork that, fill it with whiskey, then re-cork and cover with wax or something. My friends and I are grateful for your contributions...
    I wish I could be better at things with less effort...

  2. #2
    derailleurs are overrated bigbenaugust's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    KIGX
    My Bikes
    2009 Motobecane Fantom CX, 2012 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno SSCX
    Posts
    1,718
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hide it in your trousers. They'll never question a whiskey bottle-sized bulge in your pants. If they do, tell them it's a tumor, then sue for harassment.
    --Ben
    Carrboro Bike Coalition - putting the "bike" in "CARrboro" :)
    2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX
    Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011), 2011 Windsor Shetland (2011-2014)
    Current Linux Usage (by machine): Arch: I Debian: I openSUSE: II

  3. #3
    Throttle dspaff088's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Ellicott City Md
    My Bikes
    2006 Tirreno Razza 3.0, 2007 Schwinn DH 2.0
    Posts
    378
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Listerine_Antiseptic_02.jpg

    Just sayin, you might need to keep up on your oral hygiene
    You must forget about the love for yourself. You must be a masochist. I want more pain, more pain. Go, Go, Go, Go. When you like suffering when you like all the pain in your legs and your body it means you are good.

    twitter @spaffodc

  4. #4
    Unobtanium-Based Lifeform calamarichris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Carlsbad, CA
    My Bikes
    '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
    Posts
    5,100
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hang your head in shame... you call yourself an alcoholic?






    And of course you can bring an additional, wrapped wedding gift. (Just make sure it's smaller than a washer/dryer box.)

  5. #5
    location:northern Ohio
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    3,568
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Those small flat liquor bottles(@12oz?)will fit into an inside pocket in light jacket,side pocket,small of back under your belt.
    No metal flasks,only glass or plastic so the scanners cannot pick it up.

    Show up in and electric wheelchair with the empty battery cases. Fill with 12 bottles of Captain Morgan in the empty cases.Have someone push you up the gang-plank.
    How bad do you want to drink?
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  6. #6
    Unobtanium-Based Lifeform calamarichris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Carlsbad, CA
    My Bikes
    '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
    Posts
    5,100
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    My Druncle John had a fake club in his golf bag that held more than three quarts (usually pre-mixed manhattan.) It was so much fun using that thing that it almost became a problem. At the less hoity-toity courses, we were already drinking two beers per hole each, so adding whiskey drinks to that was just plain irresponsible. Lucky for him, he died about the same time drunk drive became such a serious offense.
    What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the RumRunner flasks look to be about the most no-nonsense approach to boatlegging.


  7. #7
    GATC
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    south Puget Sound
    Posts
    6,607
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Can't you snarf pounds and pounds of fruit off the buffet line? Just bring that back to your cabin and ferment to a reasonable percentage of alcohol and then you can use a reading lamp to distill it up to high octane if you really need to get the volume down.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Portland
    Posts
    540
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    beer_bra_2.jpg

    Thumb_Cruise%20Special.JPG
    ^I wonder if that would really work.

  9. #9
    Portland Fred banerjek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    My Bikes
    Custom Winter, Challenge Seiran SL, Fuji Team Pro, Cattrike Road/Velokit, РOS hybrid
    Posts
    10,477
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bikernator View Post
    My buddy's getting married on a cruise this fall and I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink, so I figured I'd bring my own. So far the general consensus is a listerine bottle filled with similar colored liquor of choice.
    One crummy bottle? That's not that much booze.

    In any case, Listerine contains a decent percentage of alcohol so you could bring plenty of that, get wasted, and have fresh breath to boot.

    Bring your bottle of Listerine plus a water bottle filled vodka. Worst case scenario is that you complain that your buddies pranked you and they take it away.

    Alternatively, bring a watermelon on board that has been injected with your hooch of choice.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Will G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Granbury, Texas
    Posts
    703
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Listerine bottles work well. If you soak a plastic bottle of gatorade in some really, really hot water for a little while, you can remove the top without breaking the plastic ring at the bottom off. Pour out the contents and refill with the appropriate food color corrected clear alcohol of choice. Put the top back on. This route give the most bang for the buck, particularly if you use pure grain alcohol that can be added to mixers. Coors beers cans fit inside pringles potato chip tubes. If your travel with a medical professional, IV bags can be filled with a whole slew of various alcohols.
    Flying a jet is no different than riding a bicycle. It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

  11. #11
    Senior Member GP's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    7,127
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    My Bikes
    Trek 2300, Cannondale ??, Univega Hyrid
    Posts
    100
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    gp beat me too it. the recent surgery was a beotch, and now you have to use that colostomy bag. Made more the one nfl security guy turn pale as he felt it up.
    sigless at the moment....

  13. #13
    Unobtanium-Based Lifeform calamarichris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Carlsbad, CA
    My Bikes
    '09 Felt F55, '84 Masi Cran Criterium, (2)'86 Schwinn Pelotons, '86 Look Equippe Hinault, '09 Globe Live 3 (dogtaxi)
    Posts
    5,100
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bikernator View Post
    I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink...
    Let's file this one under "Things not to tell your AA sponsor."

  14. #14
    Senior Member AnthonyG's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Queanbeyan, Australia.
    Posts
    3,521
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bikernator View Post
    My buddy's getting married on a cruise this fall and I don't think I can afford to pay the tab on how much I want to drink, so I figured I'd bring my own. So far the general consensus is a listerine bottle filled with similar colored liquor of choice.

    My questions is how far do they go into checking this? Is it a baggage scan? Do they just visually inspect? I haven't been on a cruise since i was a kid, so I didn't really scope out future booze-smuggling possibilities. The cruise will be with Carnival. I know I can bring a bottle of wine, so I'll likely un-cork that, fill it with whiskey, then re-cork and cover with wax or something. My friends and I are grateful for your contributions...
    Right. Have you ever thought that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I really don't think it would go down well if you got so drunk that you fell off the side of the boat at your friends wedding or that the ship was forced to divert to a port so that you could be escorted off for smuggling or drunk and disorderly.

    Anthony

  15. #15
    derailleurs are overrated bigbenaugust's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    KIGX
    My Bikes
    2009 Motobecane Fantom CX, 2012 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno SSCX
    Posts
    1,718
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Do they serve Yoo-Hoo on the ship? Maybe you should smuggle some of that instead.
    --Ben
    Carrboro Bike Coalition - putting the "bike" in "CARrboro" :)
    2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX
    Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011), 2011 Windsor Shetland (2011-2014)
    Current Linux Usage (by machine): Arch: I Debian: I openSUSE: II

  16. #16
    on by skijor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    Waterford RS-33, Salsa Vaya, Vision R40, Bacchetta Giro 20 ATT
    Posts
    882
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Is the ship stopping in Puerto Rico?

    Yoo-Hoo + PR rum = Diaper Stripes

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    175
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    The last cruise I took, I brought the booze back on board from the ports of call, it went through the scanner and no-one said a word.

  18. #18
    Below Par Bikernator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Broken Arrow, OK
    My Bikes
    '08 Giant Rincon
    Posts
    116
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Whoa, sounds like the forum in general has a problem (or has the same solution for life's problems). A lot of things I hadn't seen or thought of yet. Especially from those of you discouraging binge drinking. Tsk tsk. Anywho, I think the Rum Runner flasks are my ticket, though the colostomy bag is my favorite.

    I tried to talk the guy out of it, but he refused to be budged, so now if I'm going to drop a grand on his wedding cruise instead of a dive trip, of course I have no problem with it, but I'm doing it on my own terms. I already agreed to not being a drunken slob at dinner, and it helps that there's someone way more out of control than me going. We were roommates in college, it's not like he doesn't know what's coming...
    I wish I could be better at things with less effort...

  19. #19
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Pagosa Springs, CO, USA
    My Bikes
    Road, MTB, Cruiser, Chopper, BMX
    Posts
    2,878
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You could inject the alcohol into plums, then smuggle them aboard in your plum smugglers.

    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  20. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Terre Haute, Lafayette, or Indianapolis, IN, depending on the day
    My Bikes
    n, I would like n+1
    Posts
    1,916
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by AnthonyG View Post
    Right. Have you ever thought that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I really don't think it would go down well if you got so drunk that you fell off the side of the boat at your friends wedding or that the ship was forced to divert to a port so that you could be escorted off for smuggling or drunk and disorderly.
    Anthony
    On one hand I agree, on the other hand smuggling booze on to cruise ships is like smuggling candy and soda into movie theaters. It's practically a cultural past time, and after the admission fee nobody feels bad.
    Note: I neither drink nor go on cruises, I just know plenty of people who do and like to combine them.

  21. #21
    Wheezy Rider Connell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    8,750'
    Posts
    278
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I can't imagine being on a cruise ship while sober. <Shudder>
    "I heard the music and I wrote to it. Some people beat drums, some people strum guitars. It's all in the music you hear" ~ Hunter S. Thompson

  22. #22
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    On the bridge with Picard
    My Bikes
    Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,728
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by wapiti View Post
    The last cruise I took, I brought the booze back on board from the ports of call, it went through the scanner and no-one said a word.
    ^^This. What ports of call are you going to? In Mexico you can get off the boat and hit local restaurants that cater to tourists with 99-cent margaritas.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  23. #23
    on by skijor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    Waterford RS-33, Salsa Vaya, Vision R40, Bacchetta Giro 20 ATT
    Posts
    882
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Bring your dog with the decanter leg

  24. #24
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    My Bikes
    '08 Surly Cross-Check, 2011 Redline Conquest Pro, 2012 Spesh FSR Comp EVO, 2009 Spesh Singlecross, 2011 RM Flow1
    Posts
    11,320
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rank amateurs, the lot of you.

    80oz of your libation of choice, toting around in plain-ish view: The Beer Belly. How much damage could you do with a little over a half gallon of 151 or Everclear? NOW you're prepared to go ruin someone's wedding right and farking proper.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  25. #25
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    My Bikes
    Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
    Posts
    1,182
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by CliftonGK1 View Post
    Rank amateurs, the lot of you.

    80oz of your libation of choice, toting around in plain-ish view: The Beer Belly. How much damage could you do with a little over a half gallon of 151 or Everclear? NOW you're prepared to go ruin someone's wedding right and farking proper.
    LOL - I guess I would have to go with the Wine Rack, yes?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •