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Old 06-09-11, 04:05 PM   #1
Headphones
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Does anybody here have 0 friends?

For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better.

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?
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Old 06-09-11, 04:15 PM   #2
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I'm only a little older than you. Why don't you join some groups at work, do some group rides out of shops where you can meet new people. I have made more friends between 27-31 than I have since leaving college. It doesn't hurt that I now have a kid so now all my friends are my daughters playgroup moms and dads. Ok... yes... my wife made all my friends for me.
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Old 06-09-11, 04:16 PM   #3
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Its never too late to make friends. Close deeply rooted friends maybe not. Its harder, seeing as everyone likely has their primary relationships or is working towards it. But no, it isn't too late.

and no, I have never and could never go 3 years. I am too much of a social animal
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Old 06-09-11, 04:39 PM   #4
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My wife is my best, and pretty much only real life good friend. I'm 47 and I've never been very social in real life. I'm much more social online.
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Old 06-09-11, 04:42 PM   #5
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I've actually only made 2 friends in my lifetime, the rest were friends of friends or acquaintances. First one was in 6th grade, I remembered he went to the same elementary school as I did so I started talking to him and we bonded somehow. Second one was during my freshman year at a community college. We were the only Asian in our class so after class I went up to him and asked what kind of an Asian is he? LOL, he was guard off by that question and gave me a WTF? look. So I told him I was Viet, Khmer and Thai and he said he was Chinese. We became friends after that for about 7 years but I avoided him 3 years ago and stop contacting him since.

In spite of living in a 95% white city/town, I don't think my race is a factor in my friendless situation because I rarely ever bump into any race harassments from the people here. The people here are good.

I'm very comfortable with small chit chat but for some reason I haven't been able to go further than that. People don't seem like they want to be friends with me.

I do have low self-esteem and is shy at first but I don't think these two factors are enough for me to be friendless.

Last edited by Headphones; 06-09-11 at 04:45 PM.
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Old 06-09-11, 04:45 PM   #6
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Have you tried beer?
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Old 06-09-11, 04:50 PM   #7
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Have you tried beer?
I haven't any alcohol since Halloween 2009 and haven't smoked weed since 2007. I've been straight-edge for a couple of years now; no drugs, alcohol or medications.

I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.
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Old 06-09-11, 04:55 PM   #8
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I have a friend that claims to have a debilitating problem in social situations. But he has no trouble communicating online. He is quite intelligent and is probably Autistic/Ausberger. Needless to say, I haven't met him in real life.

He's comfortable with it. At least it seems that way to me.
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Old 06-09-11, 06:56 PM   #9
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You sound like me when I was married to my ex. I started cycling and that was then end to that. I usually run into a friend a good portion of the time when I am out riding (excluding lunch rides).
Heck if a starving artist from hamsterdam can find a friend you can as well.
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Old 06-09-11, 07:39 PM   #10
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I do not believe that man was created to go through life alone. I do not think it is too late to really make friends. Possessions, health, any material possession can disappear overnight, but a true friendship will last as long as you have a spark of life in your body.
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Old 06-09-11, 07:47 PM   #11
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What are these things called friends?
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Old 06-09-11, 07:53 PM   #12
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How many of you are engineers?
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Old 06-09-11, 07:53 PM   #13
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I haven't any alcohol since Halloween 2009 and haven't smoked weed since 2007. I've been straight-edge for a couple of years now; no drugs, alcohol or medications.

I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.
I meant going out for beers with other guys, it's a good way to make friends.
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Old 06-09-11, 07:54 PM   #14
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I am much a loner, but I have had friends, some very close. I do not seek out others.
I could spend the rest of my life without speaking to any one and it would not bother
me.

I do not want you to take this the wrong way. But if you do not have a church, it might
be a place to start.

One thing to remember, a friend is always a friend, with out conditions!
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Old 06-09-11, 08:27 PM   #15
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Old 06-09-11, 08:28 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Headphones View Post
For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better.

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?
You're 29, it's time to move out of your mom's house, your odds of meeting people will go up if you don't live with your parents.
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Old 06-09-11, 08:59 PM   #17
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I'm only a little older than you. Why don't you join some groups at work, do some group rides out of shops where you can meet new people. I have made more friends between 27-31 than I have since leaving college. It doesn't hurt that I now have a kid so now all my friends are my daughters playgroup moms and dads. Ok... yes... my wife made all my friends for me.
^^This. Start showing up at places (volunteer groups, local ride groups) and you'll become a regular and meet people.
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Old 06-09-11, 09:02 PM   #18
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get some pets from the local shelter.
my cats are a good conversation topic.
why, just right now, one of them is using my arm as a pillow.
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Old 06-10-11, 12:08 AM   #19
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Old 06-10-11, 12:24 AM   #20
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Church, volunteer work, clubs, riding groups, all excellent places to meet people and a nice woman!
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Old 06-10-11, 12:26 AM   #21
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How many of you are engineers?
I am. I have many acquaintances, a few friends, and I've been married 27 years... in August.


Anyway, for the OP, I would suggest trying to find a local Facebook group that shares your interests (such as cycling) and just do some activities with them. You'll meet lots of new people and probably even make a few friends. Since you're in Western MA, I did a quick search of Stockbridge, MA bicycle on FB and I only found a link for Berkshire Bike Path. That might work, though. Check out their rides; ask the people on the rides whether there are other rides they do, eventually you'll fall in with the cycling crowd. In fact, on first contact, you can ask them about June activities; it looks like their calendar is almost out of date. Then, if you are at all web-savvy, ask whether they would like help in keeping the calendar on their website up to date. Boom! Now you have a legitimate in into the organization.

If you have another strong interest- kayaking or hiking or whatever, just follow the same process.

There's a guy that rides with us that has a habit of saying entirely inappropriate things, especially in mixed company, but he is comfortably part of our riding group. He's working on his internal filters and the members of the group kind of know to expect this kind of stuff out of him. He's actually become one of the more popular members of the group, if only because he is a bit eccentric. Helluva nice guy once you get to know him. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you do find a group, even if you don't hit it off right away, hang around. Most people are pretty good hearted, especially if they share a common interest.

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I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.
There is more to treatment of minor personality issues than drugging the patient. A good counselor will give you methods to overcome the barriers you see. You may find out you're not all that far off from normal, and frankly, none of us is normal; it's just an act we learn to master at some point. We're all posers deep down.
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Old 06-10-11, 12:29 AM   #22
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...
Dude, that was just not nice...
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 06-10-11, 06:54 AM   #23
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For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better.

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?
If it weren't for my wife and colleagues I know through school and work, I would pretty much be a hermit.
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Old 06-10-11, 07:17 AM   #24
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My wife? does that count? Been married almost 18 years. I do not have any guy friends. One friend at work but we never do anything outside of work.
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Old 06-10-11, 07:21 AM   #25
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I had a friend once, but I ran out of money.
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