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  1. #1
    Less is more Headphones's Avatar
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    Does anybody here have 0 friends?

    For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

    I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

    Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better.

    Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?
    -2011 Trek 7.1 FX
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  2. #2
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    I'm only a little older than you. Why don't you join some groups at work, do some group rides out of shops where you can meet new people. I have made more friends between 27-31 than I have since leaving college. It doesn't hurt that I now have a kid so now all my friends are my daughters playgroup moms and dads. Ok... yes... my wife made all my friends for me.

  3. #3
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    Its never too late to make friends. Close deeply rooted friends maybe not. Its harder, seeing as everyone likely has their primary relationships or is working towards it. But no, it isn't too late.

    and no, I have never and could never go 3 years. I am too much of a social animal

  4. #4
    Old enough to know better willmw's Avatar
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    My wife is my best, and pretty much only real life good friend. I'm 47 and I've never been very social in real life. I'm much more social online.
    Dangit, I almost only post in Foo, so my post count is abysmal.

  5. #5
    Less is more Headphones's Avatar
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    I've actually only made 2 friends in my lifetime, the rest were friends of friends or acquaintances. First one was in 6th grade, I remembered he went to the same elementary school as I did so I started talking to him and we bonded somehow. Second one was during my freshman year at a community college. We were the only Asian in our class so after class I went up to him and asked what kind of an Asian is he? LOL, he was guard off by that question and gave me a WTF? look. So I told him I was Viet, Khmer and Thai and he said he was Chinese. We became friends after that for about 7 years but I avoided him 3 years ago and stop contacting him since.

    In spite of living in a 95% white city/town, I don't think my race is a factor in my friendless situation because I rarely ever bump into any race harassments from the people here. The people here are good.

    I'm very comfortable with small chit chat but for some reason I haven't been able to go further than that. People don't seem like they want to be friends with me.

    I do have low self-esteem and is shy at first but I don't think these two factors are enough for me to be friendless.
    Last edited by Headphones; 06-09-11 at 04:45 PM.
    -2011 Trek 7.1 FX
    -$85 spent on gas since June 01, 2011
    -2011 Monthly Mileage: Jun(50), Jul(109), Aug(79 and counting)
    http://pedalmybike.com/userTrackies/myTrackie3832.jpg

  6. #6
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    Have you tried beer?

  7. #7
    Less is more Headphones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan The Man View Post
    Have you tried beer?
    I haven't any alcohol since Halloween 2009 and haven't smoked weed since 2007. I've been straight-edge for a couple of years now; no drugs, alcohol or medications.

    I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.
    -2011 Trek 7.1 FX
    -$85 spent on gas since June 01, 2011
    -2011 Monthly Mileage: Jun(50), Jul(109), Aug(79 and counting)
    http://pedalmybike.com/userTrackies/myTrackie3832.jpg

  8. #8
    Chepooka StupidlyBrave's Avatar
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    I have a friend that claims to have a debilitating problem in social situations. But he has no trouble communicating online. He is quite intelligent and is probably Autistic/Ausberger. Needless to say, I haven't met him in real life.

    He's comfortable with it. At least it seems that way to me.

  9. #9
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    You sound like me when I was married to my ex. I started cycling and that was then end to that. I usually run into a friend a good portion of the time when I am out riding (excluding lunch rides).
    Heck if a starving artist from hamsterdam can find a friend you can as well.

  10. #10
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I do not believe that man was created to go through life alone. I do not think it is too late to really make friends. Possessions, health, any material possession can disappear overnight, but a true friendship will last as long as you have a spark of life in your body.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  11. #11
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    What are these things called friends?
    We have met the enemy and they is us.

    Pogo

  12. #12
    Senior Member downtube42's Avatar
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    How many of you are engineers?
    What is bicycle touring?
    "So I kept looking and eventually found that a spark plug had same threads. So I cycled next two days until I got to Jackson, MS with a spark plug instead of right pedal." - mev

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headphones View Post
    I haven't any alcohol since Halloween 2009 and haven't smoked weed since 2007. I've been straight-edge for a couple of years now; no drugs, alcohol or medications.

    I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.
    I meant going out for beers with other guys, it's a good way to make friends.

  14. #14
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    I am much a loner, but I have had friends, some very close. I do not seek out others.
    I could spend the rest of my life without speaking to any one and it would not bother
    me.

    I do not want you to take this the wrong way. But if you do not have a church, it might
    be a place to start.

    One thing to remember, a friend is always a friend, with out conditions!

  15. #15
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    ...
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  16. #16
    Senior Member noise boy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headphones View Post
    For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

    I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

    Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better.

    Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?
    You're 29, it's time to move out of your mom's house, your odds of meeting people will go up if you don't live with your parents.

  17. #17
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mdrew9 View Post
    I'm only a little older than you. Why don't you join some groups at work, do some group rides out of shops where you can meet new people. I have made more friends between 27-31 than I have since leaving college. It doesn't hurt that I now have a kid so now all my friends are my daughters playgroup moms and dads. Ok... yes... my wife made all my friends for me.
    ^^This. Start showing up at places (volunteer groups, local ride groups) and you'll become a regular and meet people.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  18. #18
    AEO
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    Senior Member AEO's Avatar
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    get some pets from the local shelter.
    my cats are a good conversation topic.
    why, just right now, one of them is using my arm as a pillow.
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  19. #19
    Powerful-Ugly Creature Greyryder's Avatar
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    Internet is my only friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Burton
    When some wild eyed eight foot tall maniac grabs you by the throat and taps the back of your favorite head head against the barroom wall, and he looks crooked in the eye, and he ask you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

  20. #20
    Pleasurable Pain greyghost_6's Avatar
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    Church, volunteer work, clubs, riding groups, all excellent places to meet people and a nice woman!
    I had to re-learn how to walk once, but never needed to re-learn how to ride a bike. Cyclist for life.

  21. #21
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by downtube42 View Post
    How many of you are engineers?
    I am. I have many acquaintances, a few friends, and I've been married 27 years... in August.


    Anyway, for the OP, I would suggest trying to find a local Facebook group that shares your interests (such as cycling) and just do some activities with them. You'll meet lots of new people and probably even make a few friends. Since you're in Western MA, I did a quick search of Stockbridge, MA bicycle on FB and I only found a link for Berkshire Bike Path. That might work, though. Check out their rides; ask the people on the rides whether there are other rides they do, eventually you'll fall in with the cycling crowd. In fact, on first contact, you can ask them about June activities; it looks like their calendar is almost out of date. Then, if you are at all web-savvy, ask whether they would like help in keeping the calendar on their website up to date. Boom! Now you have a legitimate in into the organization.

    If you have another strong interest- kayaking or hiking or whatever, just follow the same process.

    There's a guy that rides with us that has a habit of saying entirely inappropriate things, especially in mixed company, but he is comfortably part of our riding group. He's working on his internal filters and the members of the group kind of know to expect this kind of stuff out of him. He's actually become one of the more popular members of the group, if only because he is a bit eccentric. Helluva nice guy once you get to know him. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you do find a group, even if you don't hit it off right away, hang around. Most people are pretty good hearted, especially if they share a common interest.

    I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.
    There is more to treatment of minor personality issues than drugging the patient. A good counselor will give you methods to overcome the barriers you see. You may find out you're not all that far off from normal, and frankly, none of us is normal; it's just an act we learn to master at some point. We're all posers deep down.
    Last edited by Doohickie; 06-10-11 at 12:36 AM.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  22. #22
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    ...
    Dude, that was just not nice...
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  23. #23
    Senior Member bikebuddha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headphones View Post
    For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

    I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

    Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better.

    Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?
    If it weren't for my wife and colleagues I know through school and work, I would pretty much be a hermit.
    The few, the proud, the likely insane, Metro-Atlanta bicycle commuters.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Zaneluke's Avatar
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    My wife? does that count? Been married almost 18 years. I do not have any guy friends. One friend at work but we never do anything outside of work.

  25. #25
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    I had a friend once, but I ran out of money.

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