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Old 09-26-11, 10:10 AM   #1
himespau 
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Night Riding - A double standard?

So anyway, I'm very comfortable riding on the streets as a moderately regular commuter and all that. I don't tend to ride at night very much though unless I'm stuck out somewhere.

Last night, my wife had to make a quick trip in to work (we don't have a car and it's a 30 minute walk). I'd run some errands earlier in the day on my bike and I guess that was on her mind when she said she'd ride her bike in.

Suddenly, I got very worried. It was night time, her bike was a target special POS, and she hadn't ridden a bike in over a year, rarely had on our city streets, and never at night. Hunted down my reflective hi-viz vest, clipped a PB superflash onto her helmet and put my Magic Shine front and rear lights on her bike while pumping her tires and giving her bike a quick once over. Figured I'd make her as visible as possible.

She asked me if I was nervous about her, and I said no because I didn't want her to think that all the riding I do in lots of traffic is something she should be nervous about, but yeah, I was worried. In part, because one of the sections she rode on is an area I don't like to ride (and where I arrived shortly after an accident in which a cyclist died ~18 months ago on my way home).

Also, there was the fact that I do a lot of road riding and know how to work with cars safely. I've tried to pass some of that on to her when we've ridden together, but that just doesn't happen very much (not at all now that we have a baby).

Apparently, the traffic was very light because of the lateness of the hour and she didn't have any problems, but man was I nervous.

So is it a double standard if I'm not too concerned about myself doing certain things, but don't want my wife to do them? I don't know, I felt wrong somehow about being nervous about her riding when I'm not nervous at all about myself (though actually, I might be a bit nervous about myself for my first full on night commute - which I bought the magicshine for but have never actually done).
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Old 09-26-11, 10:22 AM   #2
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So is it a double standard if I'm not too concerned about myself doing certain things, but don't want my wife to do them? I don't know, I felt wrong somehow about being nervous about her riding when I'm not nervous at all about myself (though actually, I might be a bit nervous about myself for my first full on night commute - which I bought the magicshine for but have never actually done).

Umm, that's called being a husband, father, wife, mother, or whatever. You always worry more about those you love.
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Old 09-26-11, 10:30 AM   #3
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yes, it's a double standard.
However, I think that if women were better drivers, you'd have less concern about her riding her bike to the store. After all, riding a bike on the road makes her a driver.
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Old 09-26-11, 10:31 AM   #4
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So is it a double standard if I'm not too concerned about myself doing certain things, but don't want my wife to do them?
Maybe, but it's completely justified!

I can't stand the safety aspect when my wife rides with me. I keep thinking she will be so focused on talking that she will put herself in danger, yet I will ride in a lane on a busy road with the 3-year old in the trailer and think nothing of it at all.

Same with driving. If we have to take two cars, I let her get a few miles ahead because I can't stand to watch her in a car that I am not driving...and I trust her more than every other driver on the road (even myself?).

I think it's perfectly normal in your context and nothing to fret about!!!
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