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Old 11-02-11, 07:13 AM   #1
Jerseysbest
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Is the 3 months of salary for an engagment ring rule pretax or after tax?

Cause I just got a new job and jeesh, three months salary pretax for a ring is nuts!
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Old 11-02-11, 07:46 AM   #2
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Buy the ring you can afford. You can always upgrade later when you buy the wedding band or even later yet for an anniversary gift.
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Old 11-02-11, 07:47 AM   #3
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It's not a rule, it's a scam pushed on people by diamond producers.
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Old 11-02-11, 07:59 AM   #4
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It's not a rule, it's a scam pushed on people by diamond producers.
You'd think sane people would go into marriage or the threat of marriage with the goal of saving money for the important things....like a home, food, clothing, kids, etc. But nooooooo, instead way too many spend like drunken sailors for baubles and parties and even go into debt for them! It's no way to start a marriage, especially in this economy.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:19 AM   #5
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Find a diamond broker, preferrably ones that works from a home office with little overhead. Do not buy retail. Tell the broker your budget and cuts that you like and go from there. I saved a ton of money going this way and my wife has a beautiful but simple ring with a much bigger and better quality diamond in it than I could have afforded had I gone retail.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:34 AM   #6
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It's not a rule, it's a scam pushed on people by diamond producers.
Yeah, DeBeers started that whole thing in 47 -"A Diamond Is Forever"
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Old 11-02-11, 08:36 AM   #7
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I paid about $250 for an engagement ring with 1/8 carat. Married 27 years and counting. The 3 month rule is bunk.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:42 AM   #8
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If the young man invests less than the cost of one of his game consoles, he's not a keeper.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:42 AM   #9
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I paid about $250 for an engagement ring with 1/8 carat. Married 27 years and counting. The 3 month rule is bunk.
Bingo!
Just my opinion here....but I would not want to marry a woman who thinks the ring size is that important. What's more important is the person and their beliefs about marriage, family, money....all the stuff you will be dealing with for the rest of your life.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:46 AM   #10
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I paid about $250 for an engagement ring with 1/8 carat. Married 27 years and counting. The 3 month rule is bunk.
+1. Bought and 1/8 carat chip and tiffany setting from a jeweler friend for about $200.00. Been married 20+ years.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:46 AM   #11
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Effffff that.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:46 AM   #12
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Bingo!
Just my opinion here....but I would not want to marry a woman who thinks the ring size is that important. What's more important is the person and their beliefs about marriage, family, money....all the stuff you will be dealing with for the rest of your life.
See, size doesn't matter.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:47 AM   #13
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I'd say skip the diamond & just save the money for your future together. Been married 29 years & I guess my engagement ring $$ is invested somewhere down the pasture....
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Old 11-02-11, 08:47 AM   #14
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Bingo!
Just my opinion here....but I would not want to marry a woman who thinks winky size is that important.
I'd say I can see why...but I can't...not without a magnifying glass.
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Old 11-02-11, 08:48 AM   #15
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OR - if you think she really needs a ring, ask your grandmother for hers?
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Old 11-02-11, 08:48 AM   #16
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^ ^ what all of them said. I knew my wife was a keeper when she refused to let me buy a real diamond for her ring. She didn't like supporting the industry. In the end I had a custom ring made for her with a high quality diamond simulant, sapphires set in white gold. She gets a ton of compliments on it, I spent 1/10th of what the same ring would have with the same sized diamond, she's happy as can be, and I wouldn't have a coronary if something happened it the ring.
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Old 11-02-11, 09:02 AM   #17
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For many women, the diamond signifies the value the spouse places on her as an individual. The old "it cost a lot but she is worth it" thing. 3 months is bunk though. Buy what you can afford but buy decent quality over size. Bigger isn't better in diamonds unless you are compary like grades. If she thinks it is, move along, there is always another bus right around the corner.

Try estate sales as well. Take the stone and have it reset. Maybe even recut and reset. You don't think all the diamonds on the market are fresh from the ground do you?

Buy it right, buy it once.
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Old 11-02-11, 09:11 AM   #18
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My wife has a ring with a single sapphire in it. We spent $125 dollars on it. The sapphire was a gift from my father. If I had bought her a diamond ring with three months of my salary, I don't think our marriage would be any better for it. In fact, it might be worse off as we wouldn't have as much money saved.
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Old 11-02-11, 12:43 PM   #19
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Another one here who spent relatively little on a ring. It was still close to three months of my salary, but that is relatively little.

but seriously folks, that rule is just a benchmark. Some people will have way more to spend than that, most of us will not even have that much or wish to spend it on a ring. Ignore that rule imo.

If it is really important to your fiancee, then maybe three months is not so bad. It doesn't make her shallow or unworthy as a spouse...if she is demanding and petty about all things monetary, that's different.

I agree with others it's better to start your marriage as a team saving towards more important things (and take it from me, you can never save too much!!), but only you and your spouse know what matters most to you for your wedding. Just make sure it's what you want, not what your friends or Madison Ave. tell you to want.
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Old 11-02-11, 01:16 PM   #20
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Spend only that amount which will not make you cry, after you lose the ring in the divorce and she sells it.
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Old 11-02-11, 01:28 PM   #21
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For many women, the diamond signifies the value the spouse places on her as an individual.
Such a very, very sad way to see things. Definitely not my type of woman. Etc...
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Old 11-02-11, 01:53 PM   #22
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Such a very, very sad way to see things. Definitely not my type of woman. Etc...
That doesn't make it untrue.
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Old 11-02-11, 02:01 PM   #23
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Yes it is nuts. It's just a marketing ploy. What chipcom said.

What I did was I got a nice diamond from my mother's estate and then went around till I found the proper ring to mount it in and only paid for the ring it went in. She got a beautiful custom ring unlike any other in the world, and I didn't have to pay too much.

If you just need to spend more, have a nice honeymoon instead.
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Old 11-02-11, 02:13 PM   #24
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Yes it is nuts. It's just a marketing ploy. What chipcom said.

What I did was I got a nice diamond from my mother's estate and then went around till I found the proper ring to mount it in and only paid for the ring it went in. She got a beautiful custom ring unlike any other in the world, and I didn't have to pay too much.

If you just need to spend more, have a nice honeymoon instead.
This

I think the significance of a wedding ring to many women goes far beyond mere advertising. Guys have lifelong fantasies too, even if Madison Avenue feeds into them and sticks their hands in our pockets.

But as this and other posts show, you can convey your caring in other ways than simply a dollar amount. I think putting the thought/effort in is what will really matter to any gal worth marrying and spending your life with.
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Old 11-02-11, 02:13 PM   #25
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15yrs here, no Engagement ring. We both have simple gold bands as wedding rings. I actually gave my wife my grandmother's ring. She lost it a week later. We filed an insurance claim, and just never got around to buying another one. The $ was better spent in other ways when we were young and poor. Now she doesn't want a diamond.
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