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Old 11-24-11, 12:10 PM   #1
Walter
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Painful

When mastiffs fart your only real option is to leave the room.

Be back in a few.
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Old 11-24-11, 12:11 PM   #2
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Stop feeding him beans.
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Old 11-24-11, 12:34 PM   #3
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My kitten will out stink your mastiff. Now I know why nobody wanted her.
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Old 11-24-11, 01:48 PM   #4
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Stop feeding him beans.
He eats dog food. Can beans be worse?

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My kitten will out stink your mastiff. Now I know why nobody wanted her.
Pound for pound, maybe but ole Joey here just pumps out too much volume for any cat short of a lion to compete with.

Actually there's not enough volume. He's a SBD type of farter.
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Old 11-24-11, 04:13 PM   #5
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Reminds me of the old joke

Q: What do you do when a mastiff starts humping your leg?

A: You let him finish.
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Old 11-24-11, 05:25 PM   #6
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My yellow lab can smoke out a stadium.
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Old 11-24-11, 06:59 PM   #7
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Reminds me of the old joke

Q: What do you do when a mastiff starts humping your leg?

A: You let him finish.
Glad he doesn't do that. Makes toxic farting seem OK.
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Old 11-25-11, 01:48 AM   #8
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I lived with a Mastiff-Doberman cross for a while. His normal smell was pretty damn rank and when he let one rip, he could peel the wallpaper.

At least he had the good grace to act guilty about it for a while.
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Old 11-26-11, 10:16 AM   #9
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My dog sometimes make noise when he lets it rip, you can hear it across the room. It mean 'take me out,NOW!'. But when you don't hear it is when we are in trouble. He will let loose while he is sleeping, at the side of the bed, it will wake me up and make me look around the room for the pile. He's a lab coon hound mix.
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Old 11-26-11, 10:21 AM   #10
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Greyhounds are pretty bad as well, but I can proudly outdo them occassionally.
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Old 11-26-11, 12:13 PM   #11
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Does it ever come up to you, hold its paw out, and say 'here, pull my paw'?
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Old 11-26-11, 06:00 PM   #12
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My Mom had a Jack Russell/Schnauzer mix. Real cute but when it got a little age behind it his silent but deadly farts were show stoppers. We got to know to prepare ourselves when he would suddenly hop off the sofa and leave the room.
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Old 11-26-11, 06:34 PM   #13
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Blinky the Infamous Minpin makes no apologies about letting one rip. He'll just lay on the couch or bed next to you and growls if you dare to move and disturb the royal naptime.
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Old 11-27-11, 12:39 PM   #14
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My horse has the loudest farts, but at least they don't stink.
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Old 11-27-11, 05:17 PM   #15
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My little Rat Terriers have mastered the art of sitting on my lap looking sweet and innocent while letting the paint-peeling silent killers.
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Old 11-27-11, 06:38 PM   #16
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We had an oversized liver-spot dalmation (he was a thro-back to the older, large dalmations) who, when he got into deer guts each fall, would actually expel green fog. Now we just have a couple of german shepherds who stink all the time.
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