Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Winter Springs, FL
    Posts
    539
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Worst Nightmare EVER!

    I just woke up from a terrible nightmare. I was dreaming I had a wife and we had a breakup... but that's not the terrible part... the terrible part is that this nightmare breakup was a mix of my previous breakups + my buddies breakups mixed into one. Check the individual stories first.

    The New House

    This one was one of my breakups. I had a wife and we were buying a house. She was really happy with the house but bank denied due to lack of credit history from both. My mom step in and bought the house for me on her name. I didn't told anything to wife, she thought it was both on our name. First week after moving into the house, wife trows me out and says "I want a divorce and now you have to keep paying the house". I got out, mom threw *her* out later that week.

    Pregnant from another

    This one happened to a buddy of mine, wife got pregnant and my friend was not the father. The left him and went to live with the father of the baby.

    You will never be a good father

    This was is mine too, with a girlfriend decades ago. She got pregnant but we were not living together or anything, just been boyfriends for a few months. I really loved her (or so I thought at the time) and offered marriage immediately. She declined, broke the relationship and got an abortion saying that I will never be a good father so she wasn't gonna even try.

    The Replacement

    This one happened to another buddy of mine. His girlfriend wanted them to live together and insisted he moved in with her. He did and few weeks after she changed her mind and told him to get out. She let him stay for 2 weeks, giving him time to find another place. But before the f irst week was over, she bought in "the new guy" to live there too, new guy in the room and my friend in the couch.

    The Unemployed

    Another buddy of mine, lost his job, wife kicked him out same week.... "you are useless to me without an income" were the last words on that one.

    Far Away

    Another buddy of mine bought a place really far away from all family and friends. Even his work was a 3 hour commute. But the place was cheap. The wife got pregnant and went psycho-bipolar soon after (expected). These didn't broke up but she would trow him out every month or so saying that he was too stinky.... "and don't you there taking the car and leaving me here pregnant in the middle of nowhere". He was always calling somebody to go pick him up 300 miles away, lol.

    I told you so, now you are on your own

    Another buddy of mine had a girlfriend. He was living with his mother who always said "that woman is not good for you". He got the girlfriend pregnant girlfriend moved in with him (and his mom). Few months later they had an argument and she threw him out (of his mom's). And then the mom said "I told you so, now you are on your own because I can't trow out my grandson".

    So, how Rube managed to mix all this into one? Here it is:

    Ruben's Nightmare

    I had a wife who was pregnant. We moved into a house far away. She said I would never be a good father and got an abortion. Then I lost my job. Then she got pregnant from another guy and bought the guy in to live with her, sending me to the couch and giving me 2 weeks to get out. The house belonged to my mother, but mom said "I told you so, you are on your own". I call friends to pick me up, but nobody wanted to make the 300 miles trip.

    Oh foo... I woke up all worked up. The only person that didn't appeared in the nightmare was my current girlfriend who was hugging me when I woke up, sleeping. I couldn't go back to sleep and the story was so bizarre I had to post it. Also, there were a few Foosters among the friends I called to pick me up during the nightmare:

    - Siu could not pick me up because she just polished the truck's wheels and didn't wanted to get them dirty.
    - UA had to fix the engine of a Cesna-152
    - 65er said no way I'm gonna ride the tandem all the way from Canuckistan
    - Jsharr & Spry said "lol" and hung up.
    - Fussy had a swollen thumb and could not drive.
    - I didn't call ilikebikes but he called me to let me know it was probably my fault.

    And that's all for this week's RubenStory(TM)
    Last edited by RubenX; 02-02-12 at 05:53 AM.
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  2. #2
    Pentapointed Member ahsposo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    On Some Far Away Beach After the Season is Over...
    My Bikes
    A Home Built All Rounder, Bianchi 928, Specialized Langster, Dahon Folder
    Posts
    6,365
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Probably should lay off those burritos after 10 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  3. #3
    Fat Guy Rolling dcrowell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Louisville Kentucky
    My Bikes
    Bacchetta Agio, 80s Raleigh Record single-speed, Surly Big Dummy
    Posts
    2,439
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Are you doing drugs?
    Yes? STOP!
    No? Find some!

    btw... I really like the part about Siu not wanting to get the wheels dirty. Nice.
    Car-Free IT Geek
    My blog: fatguy.org

    Bikes: Surly Big Dummy, 1980s Raleigh Record single-speed conversion, Bacchetta Agio

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Minneapolis, MN
    Posts
    176
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Well, I dream about work every single night. Every single night. No exceptions. Been this way for the past five years or so. Talk about a nightmare...

  5. #5
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,626
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

  6. #6
    Senior Member triumph.1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    N Central Illinois
    My Bikes
    12 colnago clx3.0, 12 Bianchi Oltre VDCM, 13 Bianchi Cavaria,12 Bianchi infinito, couple vintage Bianchi's and a 1980 alan super record
    Posts
    1,188
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You need to find friends with more successful relationships.

  7. #7
    Me and the cat... Pamestique's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Tustin, CA
    My Bikes
    2002 Lemond Zurich, 2006 Santa Cruz Superlight, 2010 Landshark, 2012 Santa Cruz Juliana, 2014 Juliana Premiero Origin 29er
    Posts
    4,374
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    1) listening to your life makes mine seem not so bad...
    2) reading about your nightmare makes me glad that I. NEVER. REMEMBER. DREAMS. NEVER. (I understand that is a sign of mental illness - probably explains alot)
    3) Remember - your reality is what is happening right now... the past is done and cannot be undone so always best to move on. REMEMBER your mistakes and try not to repeat them.
    ______________________________________________________________

    Private docent led mountain bike rides through Limestone Canyon. Go to letsgooutside.org and register today! Also available: hikes, equestrian rides and family events as well as trail maintenance and science study.

  8. #8
    Ogr8nwmypstmksnosnse pgoat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    My Bikes
    1986 Trek 500, 2003 Orbea Team Euskaltel, 2005 Cannondale R1000
    Posts
    2,785
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I've been dreamin' a lot lately. More often than not, lotsa folks is nekkid in these dreams...
    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.

  9. #9
    Senior Member no motor?'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Chicagoland
    My Bikes
    Specialized Hardrock
    Posts
    3,872
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    At least it was just a dream.

  10. #10
    BF Risk Manager
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Snohomish County, Washington USA
    My Bikes
    Road, mountain and folding
    Posts
    896
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Don't hesitate to call your risk manager.
    Regards, MillCreek
    Snohomish County, Washington USA

  11. #11
    on by skijor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    Waterford RS-33, Salsa Vaya, Vision R40, Bacchetta Giro 20 ATT
    Posts
    881
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Whoa...where do I go to meet quality wiminz like these?

  12. #12
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Winter Springs, FL
    Posts
    539
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by skijor View Post
    Whoa...where do I go to meet quality wiminz like these?
    Puerto Rico my friend... Puerto Rico.
    "Hoy es un dia normal, pero yo voy a hacerlo intenso" ~ Juanes

  13. #13
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    On the bridge with Picard
    My Bikes
    Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,720
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    *takes down notes and emails them to the creator of "Desperate Housewives", suggesting a new series called "Ruben's World"*
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  14. #14
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
    My Bikes
    to many to list
    Posts
    6,098
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Probably should lay off those burritos after 10 PM.
    Burritos?! I think you may be refering to Mexicans, Rubes Puerto Rican, we eat pasteles, BIG ****in' difference. (if I eat to many Pasteles I do get nightmares!)
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  15. #15
    location:northern Ohio
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    3,568
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    As a cub reporter for High Times Magazine I've been saving these short stories to post a series at a later date.This type of intense material does not grow on yucca trees.
    With the upcoming wedding,loans,rent(withheld deposit),*** ammo,car repair parts,I should be able to buy the Rubenstories (tm)copyrights for next to nothing
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •