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Old 03-23-12, 07:27 PM   #1
Rowan
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Moving along door=-to-door people

I've just had a man knock on the door (late Saturday morning, me still in housecoat) telling me his name, asking mine (I said he didn't need to know along with "what do you want?), and explaining something about a religious happening next weekend concerning Easter.

I just told him we already had an expert in the house, and thanks very much. There wasn't much he could say.

Machka has a degree in bible studies, so it's true -- we really do have an expert on this sort of stuff in the house. I doubt he would have understood this, though, as he walked away.

Then Machka and I got discussing how to get rid of annoying sellers. Things like "I already have one" came to mind.

What have you said that is closer to the truth than canvassers might think?
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Old 03-23-12, 07:29 PM   #2
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I generally say "Guess you didn't see the "No Soliciting" sign, did you?" The smart ones usually shut up and leave.
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Old 03-23-12, 07:35 PM   #3
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I generally say "Guess you didn't see the "No Soliciting" sign, did you?" The smart ones usually shut up and leave.
Unfortunately, some people don't understand the meaning of that sign. "I'm not selling anything, I want to tell you about my religion."

Generally, I say "I'm not interested, thank you" and close the door.
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Old 03-23-12, 07:35 PM   #4
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I have good luck with..... "Goodbye".
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Old 03-23-12, 08:27 PM   #5
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A hardy blast on the ol' war horn, "Jeves, release the hounds!"
Occasionally one needs to signal the musket to motivate the more stubborn.

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Old 03-23-12, 08:55 PM   #6
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I use to tell them "I have no time, I'm really busy" but that kinda implied "come again next week". So now I just say "I'm not interested" closely followed by "take me off your list". When you ask to be taken of the list they have to put a note on their addresses list and mark it as "do not visit" for at least a year. I say it politely and they do it politely.

If it is the Jehovah's Witnesses, I do take their Science Magazine which is quite interesting, has dinosaurs and usually doesn't talk about Jesus. JWs are the nicest because they aren't there to recruit.

Kid's Books salesmen on the other hand, you might have to shoot them cuz they just wont leave, regardless how rude and/or infuriated you become.

Water Filter Salesmen I do like because I love to point out that their electrolysis trick is creating iron oxide from the rod, rather than making water impurities "visible".
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Old 03-23-12, 09:02 PM   #7
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"Sorry, but I don't discuss the word of the Lord with heretics."
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Old 03-23-12, 09:14 PM   #8
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When we were quite a bit younger, my brother (who has since become a 6' 3" transvestite, just to give folks an idea of his mental state) once answered the door naked, holding a butcher knife. They sure as hell Witnessed something that day, anyway.
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Old 03-23-12, 09:46 PM   #9
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My Dad one Saturday morning saw a couple of ladies walking up the sidewalk headed our way, he looked at me and said watch this, dropped his jeans and grabbed a beer bottle and answered the door scratching and invited the ladies in. To this day I'm sure their feet didn't touch any of the stairs as they made their departure. The next crew we saw made a beeline across the street rather than walk in front of our place. We never mentioned to Mom what he did as She would have laid a mean on him.
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Old 03-23-12, 11:49 PM   #10
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Rowan, invite them in for a Black Mass. That usually works with the religious tract people.
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Old 03-23-12, 11:54 PM   #11
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Yep, read the sign...

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Old 03-24-12, 03:03 AM   #12
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i have answered the door ij variou states of dress. it usually works. only had one ask to come in will me and the gf were having sex mid summer with no a/c
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Old 03-24-12, 08:15 AM   #13
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A few years ago the college I worked for was having a round of VERY painful layoffs of necessary faculty (people want and need education, but think employees should volunteer their time). So we were trying to vote a levy increase for education, to avoid half of the layoffs. So this Republican MF shows up at the door, going around to encourage everyone to vote against the evil tax increase. As usual my standard Poodle ran to the door in a rage at the sound of the door bell, so I stepped out to see what this person had to say. As he made his pitch he could see my blood begin to boil and I advised him to move along. Well, he wasn't finished with his rant against taxes and kept talking. Red in the face, I advised him to leave now and quickly because I was going to let that dog out of the house in 5-4-3-2. That fat Republican f*ckhead probably hadn't run that fast in years, but he did that day.....and please don't come back again.
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Old 03-24-12, 09:00 AM   #14
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We get very few. I tend to politely move them along, unless they are students on a worthwhile fundraising project. A Scout will never leave my door without some sort of donation or purchase. On religion, I will gladly offer to tell them about my God, and explain that I am pretty firmly set in my views and encourage them for having the courage to get out and try to share their views.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 03-26-12, 08:59 AM   #15
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I find not answering the door works best.
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Old 03-26-12, 09:05 AM   #16
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We get very few. I tend to politely move them along, unless they are students on a worthwhile fundraising project. A Scout will never leave my door without some sort of donation or purchase. On religion, I will gladly offer to tell them about my God, and explain that I am pretty firmly set in my views and encourage them for having the courage to get out and try to share their views.
False statement!(boy does this guy flip-flop on Texan culture from previous statements)

Any stranger walking up to the door of a Texican will be greeted with a six shooter pressed against his nose and asked to dance to the tune of 45 cal. around their feet.
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Old 03-26-12, 09:13 AM   #17
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I find not answering the door works best.
+1
It works with the phone too. Go figure.
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Old 03-26-12, 09:42 AM   #18
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False statement!(boy does this guy flip-flop on Texan culture from previous statements)

Any stranger walking up to the door of a Texican will be greeted with a six shooter pressed against his nose and asked to dance to the tune of 45 cal. around their feet.
just how am I going to hold my beer, hold a pistol against their nose and shoot at their feet all at the same time?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 03-26-12, 10:22 AM   #19
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just how am I going to hold my beer, hold a pistol against their nose and shoot at their feet all at the same time?
Silly goose! You chug the remainder of the Shiner Bock before you open the door! Both hands free for the firearms!
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Old 03-26-12, 10:30 AM   #20
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In Georgia we hold our sipping jug with our off hand while resting the barrel of the shotgun through the previous blast hole in the screen door with the other.
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Old 03-26-12, 11:24 AM   #21
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A polite and firm, "I'm not interested, good bye." along with the door being shut in their face does it.
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Old 03-26-12, 11:55 AM   #22
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A polite and firm, "I'm not interested, good bye." along with the door being shut in their face does it.
+1. I don't really waste time with them, either in person or on the phone.

If they call on the phone and it's a company I actually do business with, I immediately ask them what the nature of the call is. If they are unclear, I ask them if there is any problem with my account. If they say no, I simply tell them not to call me with marketing or sales calls and hang up. If they call back in the next day or two, I ask to speak to their manager and tell them, no, really... no marketing calls.
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Old 03-26-12, 12:06 PM   #23
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just how am I going to hold my beer, hold a pistol against their nose and shoot at their feet all at the same time?
There must be lot's of places in your area to get one of these
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Old 03-26-12, 12:07 PM   #24
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with JW I enjoy making up bible verses (because they do too) for them. they don't seem to enjoy being told to "go with Christ" either.
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Old 03-26-12, 12:12 PM   #25
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Jesus is frowning at you right now, and shaking his head a little.
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