...so I created a system of levers and pulleys that randomly launched my alarm clock clear across the bedroom, towards my head. While the alarm clock traversed the entire length of my bed, I honestly attempted one of the most scholastic endeavors EVAR (I actually counted to infinity). Before contact to my dome was made, I saw a glimmer of hope that I may soon, at any moment, find slumber and a peace I often seek while meditating during my morning traffic-jammed commute on Parkway East in Pittsburgh.
Then it happened.
Inge bit me.