This is not supporting your "regular guy" argument.
"Seriously is what I want to be, so I put on spandex and show off my gear, my junk, my thing, yes my ding-a-ling."
I'm in the Navy.
You sausages are hawt.
I've got your restraining order right here. [grabs crotch] Restrain this!
I do not remember enlisting, must have been pressed into service. What is Chip wearing, a flying nun hat, or is that some sort of Marine Fancy Dress uniform?