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  1. #1
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    I have to get help for my anger

    I just am not able to control my tempare i try so hard but soon as some one says something to me or yells stuff out of the car when i am on my bike i lose it like some damn idiot who cant control his emotions.so next week i have a dr appt and ill dicuss this at lengh.I feel like a loser ima grown man who acts like a teenager

  2. #2
    Cool Beans MangoPumpkin's Avatar
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    Get a punching bag.
    I've got your restraining order right here. [grabs crotch] Restrain this!

  3. #3
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    That may help

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    Cool Beans MangoPumpkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by windhchaser View Post
    That may help
    Yes it can, I've tried it to relieve stress.

    May I ask how old you are?
    I've got your restraining order right here. [grabs crotch] Restrain this!

  5. #5
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    30 something

  6. #6
    Banned Indy_Rider's Avatar
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    Target shooting can be very relaxing.

    And if that isn't enough, cars can make good targets.

  7. #7
    Curmudgeon in Training 20grit's Avatar
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    Laugh at them. Laughter is good medicine, and it might serve to make them feel like an ass.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    First, great job on realizing you have a problem and being willing to find a solution for it. Many do not and live in denial for years. I am / was one of those people.

    He who angers you controls you. You need to figure out why you are getting angry. Self worth, pride, shame, whatever and learn to deal with that issue. Going to take some soul searching and it could be painful. And it could be a chemical imbalance in your body, or a reaction to stress from outside pressures, such as family, job, finances, health.

    I wish you much luck in finding the cause and for resolution. I had and still have issues in my life that I am learning to deal with that cause me to feel low self worth, shame and guilt and I will often get angry at myself and then transfer my anger to others. Almost cost me my marriage.

    Feel free to PM me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    Bite me.

  10. #10
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    OK, so now how do you feel?

  11. #11
    Fax Transport Specialist black_box's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by windhchaser View Post
    ...soon as some one says something to me or yells stuff out of the car when i am on my bike...
    "They'll get over it." Repeat that to yourself when it happens and don't worry about it. They're most likely upset about something trivial or completely unrelated. Once they pass you, they'll forget about you and be bitter about the next thing.

  12. #12
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    much good advice given above.Every day i say to self i wont react ill ignore them but i still end up reacting

  13. #13
    Banned Indy_Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by windhchaser View Post
    much good advice given above.Every day i say to self i wont react ill ignore them but i still end up reacting
    When on a bike, I have the same problem and I think it comes down to anger over possibility of them endangering my life. That's something I'm never going to get over, nor do I really want to.

    Plus, it helps me click off the next several miles quicker.

  14. #14
    Senior Member rumrunn6's Avatar
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    sometimes people need to be yelled at. sometimes people earn a punch in the head. sometimes it's best to bite your lip and vent to your friends. there is no general rule that will guide you. if things go right you are happy. if things go wrong should you be just as happy? I am human, not machine, and not a Vulcan. if you piss me off you will hear about. if you do something nice for me, you will hear about it. I am not a tree. it gets tricky when there's a "match-up" cuz you could get dead. I've been practicing my survival skills since 5th grade. so far, so good despite a few bad judgement calls and lost fights. do the best you can man and don't let them drug you or make you feel quilty for reacting as a human.
    cycling is like baseball ~ it doesn't take much to make it interesting

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    Quote Originally Posted by rumrunn6 View Post
    sometimes people need to be yelled at. sometimes people earn a punch in the head. sometimes it's best to bite your lip and vent to your friends. there is no general rule that will guide you. if things go right you are happy. if things go wrong should you be just as happy? I am human, not machine, and not a Vulcan. if you piss me off you will hear about. if you do something nice for me, you will hear about it. I am not a tree. it gets tricky when there's a "match-up" cuz you could get dead. I've been practicing my survival skills since 5th grade. so far, so good despite a few bad judgement calls and lost fights. do the best you can man and don't let them drug you or make you feel quilty for reacting as a human.
    Are you smoking pot right now?

  16. #16
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    One very good thing for curbing anger is meditation. It teaches you how to maintain your center even while an anger storm blows through your mind. You learn that you are not your anger. It's just a VIVID and FLUID hallucination. Anger is a temporary thought that comes and goes. Sacrificing that which is real and lasting for a temporary hallucination is self-defeating.

    You can't just tell yourself that you will not be angry. You need to build up your spiritual core.

    To start, find somewhere that you can sit quietly for 20 minutes each day. Focus on observing your breathing. Your mind will stray. When it does, just recenter on your breathing. Over time, you are more able to maintain your focus and you will be able to step back from your anger and not be contained within it. Like Neo, you will see the matrix of the anger, and you will see yourself there, and calm with the anger in front of you. The anger is no more you than the words you are reading at this moment. Meditation is similar to riding a bike, the more you ride, the stronger you are.

    Books that have helped me are:

    A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle

    Your true home by Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced Tik Nyat Hawn)

    Be Here Now by Ram Dass

    Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki


    My first aid for anger is to go find a small stream and throw rocks at it. Having to control the rock breaks the anger, and nothing gets hurt. The crash of the rock into the water or onto the banks is a moment of zen. By the time my arm is hurting, I'm usually calmer.

    And in dealing with cars... Let them get away before you cuss them out. That, or amp up the one-finger salute by 5 and give em the full hand and a smile. You know they're only doing it to get a rise out of you. It hurts them the most when you don't respond.
    Last edited by Artkansas; 08-30-12 at 02:30 PM.
    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

    Quote Originally Posted by Bjforrestal View Post
    I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.

  17. #17
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    Id never want to hurt some one badly But i do admit i wouldn't mind kicking a few of there asses.Which realy makes me question my sanity . to want to hit some one because of words is stupid and thats how i am acting stupid

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by windhchaser View Post
    Id never want to hurt some one badly But i do admit i wouldn't mind kicking a few of there asses.Which realy makes me question my sanity . to want to hit some one because of words is stupid and thats how i am acting stupid
    Get some therapy and maybe some drugs for your chemically imbalanced brain.

  19. #19
    Banned Indy_Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris..... View Post
    Carry a ***, you never know if the next guy you yell back at might be just like you.
    Vehicle, versus cyclist with a ***. Still not good odds, which is why I always look for an exit route right after I yell. Being a MTB'er has it's advantages, even if I am on a road bike.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy_Rider View Post
    Vehicle, versus cyclist with a ***. Still not good odds, which is why I always look for an exit route right after I yell. Being a MTB'er has it's advantages, even if I am on a road bike.
    Windchaser is probably getting yelled at by little kids and old ladies on the sidewalk.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris..... View Post
    Get some therapy and maybe some drugs for your chemically imbalanced brain.
    WEdnesday i have a appt
    .Not looking forward to it lol

  22. #22
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indy_Rider View Post
    Vehicle, versus cyclist with a ***. Still not good odds, which is why I always look for an exit route right after I yell. Being a MTB'er has it's advantages, even if I am on a road bike.
    You are also a water skier. Is your second option riding the roadie into a creek?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris..... View Post
    Windchaser is probably getting yelled at by little kids and old ladies on the sidewalk.
    Nope

  24. #24
    Banned Indy_Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    You are also a water skier. Is your second option riding the roadie into a creek?
    Wouldn't be the first time I've crossed a creek on a bike and certainly wouldn't be the last time either.

  25. #25
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by windhchaser View Post
    Id never want to hurt some one badly But i do admit i wouldn't mind kicking a few of there asses.Which realy makes me question my sanity . to want to hit some one because of words is stupid and thats how i am acting stupid
    Yeah, but it's normal, not crazy. But it's cool that you are looking to step up. Many people don't ever see things that clearly.
    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

    Quote Originally Posted by Bjforrestal View Post
    I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.

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