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Old 08-30-12, 12:43 PM   #1
windhchaser 
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I have to get help for my anger

I just am not able to control my tempare i try so hard but soon as some one says something to me or yells stuff out of the car when i am on my bike i lose it like some damn idiot who cant control his emotions.so next week i have a dr appt and ill dicuss this at lengh.I feel like a loser ima grown man who acts like a teenager
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Old 08-30-12, 12:53 PM   #2
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Get a punching bag.
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Old 08-30-12, 12:54 PM   #3
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That may help
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Old 08-30-12, 12:56 PM   #4
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That may help
Yes it can, I've tried it to relieve stress.

May I ask how old you are?
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Old 08-30-12, 12:57 PM   #5
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30 something
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Old 08-30-12, 12:58 PM   #6
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Target shooting can be very relaxing.

And if that isn't enough, cars can make good targets.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:00 PM   #7
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Laugh at them. Laughter is good medicine, and it might serve to make them feel like an ass.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:05 PM   #8
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First, great job on realizing you have a problem and being willing to find a solution for it. Many do not and live in denial for years. I am / was one of those people.

He who angers you controls you. You need to figure out why you are getting angry. Self worth, pride, shame, whatever and learn to deal with that issue. Going to take some soul searching and it could be painful. And it could be a chemical imbalance in your body, or a reaction to stress from outside pressures, such as family, job, finances, health.

I wish you much luck in finding the cause and for resolution. I had and still have issues in my life that I am learning to deal with that cause me to feel low self worth, shame and guilt and I will often get angry at myself and then transfer my anger to others. Almost cost me my marriage.

Feel free to PM me.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:06 PM   #9
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Bite me.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:07 PM   #10
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OK, so now how do you feel?
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Old 08-30-12, 01:09 PM   #11
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...soon as some one says something to me or yells stuff out of the car when i am on my bike...
"They'll get over it." Repeat that to yourself when it happens and don't worry about it. They're most likely upset about something trivial or completely unrelated. Once they pass you, they'll forget about you and be bitter about the next thing.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:11 PM   #12
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much good advice given above.Every day i say to self i wont react ill ignore them but i still end up reacting
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Old 08-30-12, 01:14 PM   #13
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much good advice given above.Every day i say to self i wont react ill ignore them but i still end up reacting
When on a bike, I have the same problem and I think it comes down to anger over possibility of them endangering my life. That's something I'm never going to get over, nor do I really want to.

Plus, it helps me click off the next several miles quicker.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:17 PM   #14
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sometimes people need to be yelled at. sometimes people earn a punch in the head. sometimes it's best to bite your lip and vent to your friends. there is no general rule that will guide you. if things go right you are happy. if things go wrong should you be just as happy? I am human, not machine, and not a Vulcan. if you piss me off you will hear about. if you do something nice for me, you will hear about it. I am not a tree. it gets tricky when there's a "match-up" cuz you could get dead. I've been practicing my survival skills since 5th grade. so far, so good despite a few bad judgement calls and lost fights. do the best you can man and don't let them drug you or make you feel quilty for reacting as a human.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:20 PM   #15
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sometimes people need to be yelled at. sometimes people earn a punch in the head. sometimes it's best to bite your lip and vent to your friends. there is no general rule that will guide you. if things go right you are happy. if things go wrong should you be just as happy? I am human, not machine, and not a Vulcan. if you piss me off you will hear about. if you do something nice for me, you will hear about it. I am not a tree. it gets tricky when there's a "match-up" cuz you could get dead. I've been practicing my survival skills since 5th grade. so far, so good despite a few bad judgement calls and lost fights. do the best you can man and don't let them drug you or make you feel quilty for reacting as a human.
Are you smoking pot right now?
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Old 08-30-12, 01:21 PM   #16
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One very good thing for curbing anger is meditation. It teaches you how to maintain your center even while an anger storm blows through your mind. You learn that you are not your anger. It's just a VIVID and FLUID hallucination. Anger is a temporary thought that comes and goes. Sacrificing that which is real and lasting for a temporary hallucination is self-defeating.

You can't just tell yourself that you will not be angry. You need to build up your spiritual core.

To start, find somewhere that you can sit quietly for 20 minutes each day. Focus on observing your breathing. Your mind will stray. When it does, just recenter on your breathing. Over time, you are more able to maintain your focus and you will be able to step back from your anger and not be contained within it. Like Neo, you will see the matrix of the anger, and you will see yourself there, and calm with the anger in front of you. The anger is no more you than the words you are reading at this moment. Meditation is similar to riding a bike, the more you ride, the stronger you are.

Books that have helped me are:

A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle

Your true home by Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced Tik Nyat Hawn)

Be Here Now by Ram Dass

Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki


My first aid for anger is to go find a small stream and throw rocks at it. Having to control the rock breaks the anger, and nothing gets hurt. The crash of the rock into the water or onto the banks is a moment of zen. By the time my arm is hurting, I'm usually calmer.

And in dealing with cars... Let them get away before you cuss them out. That, or amp up the one-finger salute by 5 and give em the full hand and a smile. You know they're only doing it to get a rise out of you. It hurts them the most when you don't respond.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:21 PM   #17
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Id never want to hurt some one badly But i do admit i wouldn't mind kicking a few of there asses.Which realy makes me question my sanity . to want to hit some one because of words is stupid and thats how i am acting stupid
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Old 08-30-12, 01:23 PM   #18
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Id never want to hurt some one badly But i do admit i wouldn't mind kicking a few of there asses.Which realy makes me question my sanity . to want to hit some one because of words is stupid and thats how i am acting stupid
Get some therapy and maybe some drugs for your chemically imbalanced brain.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:24 PM   #19
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Carry a gun, you never know if the next guy you yell back at might be just like you.
Vehicle, versus cyclist with a gun. Still not good odds, which is why I always look for an exit route right after I yell. Being a MTB'er has it's advantages, even if I am on a road bike.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:25 PM   #20
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Vehicle, versus cyclist with a gun. Still not good odds, which is why I always look for an exit route right after I yell. Being a MTB'er has it's advantages, even if I am on a road bike.
Windchaser is probably getting yelled at by little kids and old ladies on the sidewalk.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:26 PM   #21
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Get some therapy and maybe some drugs for your chemically imbalanced brain.
WEdnesday i have a appt
.Not looking forward to it lol
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Old 08-30-12, 01:26 PM   #22
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Vehicle, versus cyclist with a gun. Still not good odds, which is why I always look for an exit route right after I yell. Being a MTB'er has it's advantages, even if I am on a road bike.
You are also a water skier. Is your second option riding the roadie into a creek?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:26 PM   #23
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Windchaser is probably getting yelled at by little kids and old ladies on the sidewalk.
Nope
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Old 08-30-12, 01:32 PM   #24
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You are also a water skier. Is your second option riding the roadie into a creek?
Wouldn't be the first time I've crossed a creek on a bike and certainly wouldn't be the last time either.
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Old 08-30-12, 01:35 PM   #25
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Id never want to hurt some one badly But i do admit i wouldn't mind kicking a few of there asses.Which realy makes me question my sanity . to want to hit some one because of words is stupid and thats how i am acting stupid
Yeah, but it's normal, not crazy. But it's cool that you are looking to step up. Many people don't ever see things that clearly.
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