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  1. #1
    In Memory of One Cool Cat Blackberry's Avatar
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    Worst Country Songs Ever

    Here are a few nominees. Any others?

    * Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

    * Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

    * I Wanna Whip Your Cow

    * If The Phone Don't Ring, It's me.

    * My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
    Dead last finish is better than did not finish and infinitely better than did not start.

  2. #2
    53 miles per burrito urban_assault's Avatar
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    There is not enough room to list them all. Maybe we can make a list of the best country songs. That list would be MUCH shorter.

  3. #3
    Beauty Everywhere snowy's Avatar
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    Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!

  4. #4
    In Memory of One Cool Cat Blackberry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by urban_assault
    There is not enough room to list them all. Maybe we can make a list of the best country songs. That list would be MUCH shorter.
    Funny!
    Dead last finish is better than did not finish and infinitely better than did not start.

  5. #5
    Bull**** Detector snickersnicker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowy
    Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!
    Hank Williams Sr. also cannot be included in this list because he's awesome.
    when the world is sick
    can no one be well?
    but i dreamt we was all
    beautiful and strong...

  6. #6
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowy
    Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!
    Except for Counrty Charly Pride, his voice is sweet. But back to the rotten ones, Achky Breaky Heart totally reaks. As well as anything by Lee Greenwood, anyone who is the heart throb of 60 year old women in red white and blue big undies is out!!
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  7. #7
    I drink your MILKSHAKE Raiyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowy
    Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by snickersnicker
    Hank Williams Sr. also cannot be included in this list because he's awesome.
    Agreed on both counts. I'll take Johnny Cash to block,


    How's that for a trifecta?

  8. #8
    My life be like ooh aah anthonaut's Avatar
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    Good country song? That'll be the day...
    Any true downhiller can huck, but no hucker can truly downhill - Ryan N.

    Mtbworld - http://mtbworld.mybesthost.com

  9. #9
    I drink your MILKSHAKE Raiyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anthonaut
    Good country song? That'll be the day...
    The new stuff is solid CRAP. The really old stuff from the artists I mentioned is actually pretty good

  10. #10
    Senior Member sewupnut's Avatar
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    Seems to me that most country music in he last 20 years or so is just old Eagles , Poco, Flying Burrito Brothers, etc. songs regurgitated. Grew up with Marty Robbins, Johnny Cash, and a few others who performed actual country music. Never was a big fan (my parents liked it), but it was a unique art form then. Can't think of any decent country song made after that era. RR hasn't fared much better in recent years, but it is better.

    sun

    sun

  11. #11
    I drink your MILKSHAKE Raiyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sewupnut
    RR hasn't fared much better in recent years, but it is better.

    sun

    sun
    Change that to Top 40 and the time frame to the last 20 years and I'll agree

  12. #12
    Not Green, Celeste!!! cwodave's Avatar
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    "Put another log on the fire" by Waylon and Willie

    A favorite of wives everywhere.
    "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.
    Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

  13. #13
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    I like Hell Yeah!

  14. #14
    I am a lonely visitor RegularGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cwodave
    "Put another log on the fire" by Waylon and Willie

    A favorite of wives everywhere.
    Wasn't that Bobby Bare?


    Actually, I like Willie, though he's been known to misfire once or twice....Like that thing he did with Julio Iglesias. ACK!
    Religion is a good thing for good people and a bad thing for bad people. --H. Richard Niebuhr

  15. #15
    Recovering Retro-grouch CRUM's Avatar
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    There was a song in the 70's called "Kick me Jesus through the Goalposts of Life". The tune was as bad as the name would indicate.

    The first music I heard over the airwaves was from an AM country station in the early fifties in Colorado. Hank Sr. Patsy, Flatt & Scruggs, etc. Of the good ones, I'd have to include Merle Haggard. If for no other reason, he was one crazy SOB. And even as a hippy, I loved his "Okie from Muskogee".
    Keep it 'tween the ditches

    My Blog - Lost in the Bo Zone

  16. #16
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    Waylon Jennings had a song that comes up now and then - Mamma's Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys. That one's a good to sing after a few heinies.
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  17. #17
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackberry
    Here are a few nominees. Any others?

    I've been keeping this one all to myself for a number of years. It's time to set it free:

    "I jack-knifed when she slammed on the airbrakes of love."

    Thank-you.
    Thank-you very much.

  18. #18
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUM
    Hank Sr. Patsy, Flatt & Scruggs, etc.


    Argh!!!! Sacrilege!!! How dare you mention those other two in the same breath of the gods of bluegrass!

  19. #19
    Recovering Retro-grouch CRUM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey
    Argh!!!! Sacrilege!!! How dare you mention those other two in the same breath of the gods of bluegrass!
    Hey, blame the station. They played it all. Back then, there was little if any distinction between the two types of music. Because of them, I included Blugrass in my favorites list of music later in life. And don't be knockin Hank Sr. and Patsy. They pumped out the best cry in your beer music I ever heard.
    Keep it 'tween the ditches

    My Blog - Lost in the Bo Zone

  20. #20
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Hey, I'm not dissin' Hank & Patsy. It's just that they're not even in the same class as Lester & Earl.

    It's like putting Scott Joplin & Elton John (each masters at their craft) in the same basket because they both play piano. It just don't work

  21. #21
    Immoderator KrisPistofferson's Avatar
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    My vote for the worst ever would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie", by Brooks & Dunn. Aside from being completely horrible, it got me kicked out of a diner when I was a teenager. I was high as a kite in a Waffle House, the song came on the jukebox, and I couldn't quit laughing at it's overt whack-ness. After a while, the waitress asked me and my friends to skedaddle. Ah, memories...
    Quote Originally Posted by Bikeforums
    Your rights end where another poster's feelings begin.

  22. #22
    Recovering Retro-grouch CRUM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey
    It just don't work
    It don't work now, but it worked then.
    Keep it 'tween the ditches

    My Blog - Lost in the Bo Zone

  23. #23
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    This one stinks, but has a great title, by Those Darn Accordions - There's a Dumbass on the Mountain.

    Sample here: http://www.thosedarnaccordions.com/lawnball.html
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  24. #24
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    So many songs So little time

  25. #25
    Industrial Strength BS hoodlum's Avatar
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    A few that are hard to beat:

    "You're the reason our kids are ugly"
    "You're not the best, but you're the best that I can do" (actually a really good song)
    "Always marry an ugly girl"

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