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Old 10-14-13, 08:55 AM   #1
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lost my Father-In-Law 6 days ago

Today is Wifey & my 23rd wedding anniversary and so reflecting on that will be bittersweet today. We have happy photos and even video of her Dad, thanks to her Uncle, of that day, a gorgeous fall day. We got to share many many happy days together. We should all be so lucky, to enjoy so many.

He was a very smart guy but never full of himself, and never talked down to me. He was very kind and a good listener, and would never interrupt you when you were talking.

He and I shared a love for maps and talking about directions, maybe thatís why Wifey has such a good sense of direction. He also loved automobiles, taught her to drive a stick, and was the first person to tell me "itís OK to skip a gear sometimes".

He was a dear, dear man, rock solid, steadfast, a survivor & the salt of the Earth. My Father-In-Law will be deeply missed and remembered forever, his legacy still living through my wife and kids.

I remember many activities with him, bicycling on Marthaís Vineyard and Block Island, X-Country Skiing in Vermont and various walks in New England.

When it came to grilling he showed me precisely how many charcoal bricks to use without any waste. He always knew just how many to use to cook what he had to serve, never too many or too little and the grill was always the perfect temperature.

He loved to garden and work with the Earth. This past week I got to spend some alone time with HIS Earth (at his home) and work with his tools and think about what he thought about as he used them. It was special for me to share that with him even though I was alone.

He liked an occasional cocktail and I shared many drinks with him over the years. While he wasnít a smoker, he indulged me when my kids were born, when we lit up a couple of stogies with our vodka on ice.

One of my favorite portraits that I took of him & his wife was at Lambertís Cove Beach on Marthaís Vineyard. It is a special place they shared with friends and family. In fact, the last time I saw him was on Marthaís Vineyard just a few weeks ago. They came to the ferry to see us off. He waved goodbye and I waved back.
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Old 10-14-13, 09:04 AM   #2
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I'm sorry for your and your wife's loss. You wrote a beautiful tribute to him. Very touching. I had a similar relationship with my mother-in-law. You're absolutely right about his legacy living through your wife and your kids and through you and the things he's shared with you.
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Old 10-14-13, 09:32 AM   #3
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Congrats on the 23yrs....and sorry for the loss. I hope you two can find peace and happiness with the rest of it tomorrow.
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Old 10-14-13, 09:42 AM   #4
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Not much more to say other than remember the good times, cherish your wife, be there for her, she needs a rock right now to replace her father. Peace and strength and comfort to you.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 10-14-13, 09:47 AM   #5
Pedaled too far.
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Sorry for your loss. It was great that your father-in-law was such a great person and you shared good times with him.
"He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

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I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.
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Old 10-14-13, 11:18 AM   #6
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My condolences. Sounds like he was a really good guy.
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Old 10-14-13, 05:13 PM   #7
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You see, their morals, their's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
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Old 10-14-13, 06:06 PM   #8
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Sorry to hear of your lose rumrum. Very nice eulogy. Sounds like you have some awful fond memories. That combined with 23 years with the one you love puts you way out in front of many people in the world.

There is nothing wrong with morning your lose but use those fond memories as strength to get by these difficult times and cherish every day you get to spend with your loving wife.
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Old 10-16-13, 02:24 PM   #9
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watched the wedding video w wifey and the kids. lot's of good stuff including very enjoyable moments of the man himself. bittersweet but surprisingly not upsetting to wifey.

son asked: "hey dad, now, looking at this video and looking back on your "life" (last 23 years) what do you think?" told him everything worked out perfectly, and as planned. we truly have been blessed with a normal happy life.
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