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Old 10-26-13, 10:31 AM   #1
RaleighSport
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Getting ready to live with someone again. Tips?

Hi gang, it's been about 4 years since I've lived with a significant other... more like 10 years before that since the last roommate. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now and it's finally time to get ready to move her in.. (she doesn't know this yet), I'm obviously downsizing my furniture and cleaning the place back up.. (bachelor pads seem to attract filth somehow), I still know the basics like toilette seat down, dirty undies on the bedroom floor are a no no, and most drastic of all.. my bikes probably won't be allowed in the bedroom/kitchen/living room anymore.. but I seem to recall there was a lot more to it then those basics, any tips on do's and don'ts?
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Old 10-26-13, 11:25 AM   #2
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stop bringing hookers home on the weekends.

i learned that one the hard way.
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Old 10-26-13, 02:08 PM   #3
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or during the week
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Old 10-26-13, 03:35 PM   #4
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DO: understand and be prepared for finding out EVERYTHING about the person you live with and all their tedious or obnoxious habits. Living with someone opens up about 64 addition cans of worms in terms of everything. You WILL fight. You WILL get angry. You WILL find that you each have habits each other despises. It will pass. There will be compromises. Get ready for them.

DON'T: accidentally let the cats out.
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Old 10-26-13, 03:36 PM   #5
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I think you should man up and stand on principle that you can do whatever the eff you want to do...and she can like it or lump it.
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Old 10-26-13, 03:42 PM   #6
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I think you should man up and stand on principle that you can do whatever the eff you want to do...and she can like it or lump it.
every man likes to think this, but man, *****es be crazy
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Old 10-26-13, 03:46 PM   #7
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every man likes to think this, but man, *****es be crazy
That's why you need to retain the right to kick her out.
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Old 10-26-13, 06:57 PM   #8
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Marry her first then she can move in. You won't really know a person unless you marry them.
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Old 10-26-13, 07:17 PM   #9
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....if you want to stay in the relationship, it helps a lot if you can assume that your mate is right.

It's called the "Yes, dear, " school of relationship advice, and it turns out it works pretty well.
Please to note, it does not matter whether you think she is or is not right, only that you assume the position.


It took me two marriages to figure that out, so treasure it as hard earned.
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Old 10-26-13, 07:19 PM   #10
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I think you should man up and stand on principle that you can do whatever the eff you want to do...and she can like it or lump it.
...spoken like a guy who has been through a lot of women.
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Old 10-26-13, 07:24 PM   #11
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Give her the remote control. Then give her foot rubs.
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Old 10-26-13, 07:58 PM   #12
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Don't stop taking her out on dates.
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Old 10-26-13, 08:33 PM   #13
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...and wine. Never, ever, ever run out of wine.
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Old 10-26-13, 08:45 PM   #14
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You won't really know a person unless you marry them.

But then it's too late.
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Old 10-26-13, 08:55 PM   #15
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If she has a twin, make sure you can tell them apart...or not

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Old 10-26-13, 08:58 PM   #16
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Do:

-toilet seat in the down position
-dirty clothes go in the hamper
-do a detail cleaning (get professional help if desired and funds allow)

Don't:

-relocate your bikes. You were interested in them long before you met your SO, she knows how you feel about them, so why would you even consider this?

Besides, she could surprise you and not want to move into your place (rather you move in with her) or not interested in living together at all.
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Old 10-26-13, 09:12 PM   #17
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and make sure she understands bikes are not used to dry bras and panties.

even more so if you ride steel
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Old 10-27-13, 07:25 AM   #18
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You have to learn to live with yourself before you try to live with someone else. If you already have that skill then your ahead of the game, but I don't think you do 'cause your already talking about the changes you have to make...bad move! Stay who you are and don't change a thing about the way you live and the way you keep your home, your home is yours and you don't have to change or hide it from anyone, if you think you do you havnt learned to live with yourself and the relationship is doomed to fail.
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Old 10-27-13, 08:12 AM   #19
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Stay who you are and don't change a thing about the way you live and the way you keep your home, your home is yours and you don't have to change or hide it from anyone, if you think you do you haven't learned to live with yourself and the relationship is doomed to fail.
What is this? Malicious Advice Mallard?

Of course you have to change when you live with someone else. When you are living alone, you can be as selfish as heck and it's fine. The garbage can pile up to the ceiling and if that's not your focus, that's cool. Dishes can fill the sink, that way they don't fill up the living room. You can use your dining room table as a bicycle repair work station and that's good.

Living with yourself is different that living with others. When you live with anyone else, you need to consider their needs, and they need to consider yours. It becomes a compromise that hopefully provides more benefits than problems. That has to change just as much as you have to change the schedule that you get groceries, or how often the trash need to be kicked to the curb.

The O.P. is doing right. He's asking for a refresher course on what is it like to live with another person. Now, because he's asking in Foo, there's no guarantee of how sage the answers will be.


Of course, you probably have some core values that cannot change. If a living situation requires that you give up core values, maybe you should pass on it.
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Last edited by Artkansas; 10-27-13 at 08:16 AM.
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Old 10-27-13, 08:31 AM   #20
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Of course, you probably have some core values that cannot change. If a living situation requires that you give up core values, maybe you should pass on it.
Marriage and core values. Are both you and her committed to the relationship and core values (we mean really core values) match. Then make the commitment and get married. Give the bikes there own "children's" room. Would you put your kids in the garage or shed? Heh. The rest of the details you two can work out - that's normal in a relationship - and will change as the years pass.

Otherwise, why would you want to ruin a good thing and give up your space?
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Old 10-27-13, 09:10 AM   #21
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Three times in my marriage (four if you count the time in a sleeper cab of a tractor/trailer, I don't) I've had a bachelor apartment. I think it gave us both a little bit more space and freedom in our relationship.

I could start a project in my place, leave it and come back to it undisturbed and undisturbing. My bikes hung on the wall next to the front door.

I could leave the bed unmade and the toilet seat up if I wanted and nobody cared.

I say keep your place if you can afford it.
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Old 10-27-13, 09:18 AM   #22
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What is this? Malicious Advice Mallard?

Of course you have to change when you live with someone else. When you are living alone, you can be as selfish as heck and it's fine. The garbage can pile up to the ceiling and if that's not your focus, that's cool. Dishes can fill the sink, that way they don't fill up the living room. You can use your dining room table as a bicycle repair work station and that's good.

Living with yourself is different that living with others. When you live with anyone else, you need to consider their needs, and they need to consider yours. It becomes a compromise that hopefully provides more benefits than problems. That has to change just as much as you have to change the schedule that you get groceries, or how often the trash need to be kicked to the curb.

The O.P. is doing right. He's asking for a refresher course on what is it like to live with another person. Now, because he's asking in Foo, there's no guarantee of how sage the answers will be.


Of course, you probably have some core values that cannot change. If a living situation requires that you give up core values, maybe you should pass on it.
I disagree. When you are living alone, you can be as selfish as heck, but that's NOT fine. The garbage can pile up to the ceiling, that's NOT cool. Dishes cannot fill the sink, that's called being a pig. You can use your dining room table as a bicycle repair work station and that's good...OK, I don't know if Id call this "good" but I have been known to do it! just recently too. I strongly believe a person should stay the same, reason being is the whole relationship seems to be fake, you "act" like another person when your with someone else? That's bull**** man. I think that's why a lot of relationships end in failure. You first meet every ones on their best behavior, dressed all nice, taking her out to great restaurants that you know you cant afford, driving a cool ass rental car, and all that other fake ****. Then when you start living together and the truth of who you really are is revealed...relationship over! You suffer, your ex suffers, YOUR KIDS SUFFER! Yeah, **** that. My wife met me, and I met her, None of that "best behavior, dressed all nice, taking her out to great restaurants that I knew I couldnt afford, no driving a cool ass rental car, and all that other fake ****," we knew who we were and 30 years later we still know who we are.
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Old 10-27-13, 10:10 AM   #23
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Oh man this is priceless guys, to be honest though I just asked this in foo to see the foo type responses. I spent 5 years in a committed relationship with a psycho and being a step dad for a teenage girl so believe it or not I'm already pretty well trained.

ILB: You can be a selfish pig when you live alone, and not truly be a selfish pig. It's a lot easier to treat your house as a home when you live with someone you love, at least in my experiences.

@no1mad Incorrect answer, I've known her and we've been close friends since the 7th grade...

Rest of you guys, keep it up great to see the diversity in how we all react to our better halves.
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Old 10-27-13, 11:07 AM   #24
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how we all react to our better halves.
......yes, dear.
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Old 10-27-13, 11:51 AM   #25
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Oh man this is priceless guys, to be honest though I just asked this in foo to see the foo type responses. I spent 5 years in a committed relationship with a psycho and being a step dad for a teenage girl so believe it or not I'm already pretty well trained.

ILB: You can be a selfish pig when you live alone, and not truly be a selfish pig. It's a lot easier to treat your house as a home when you live with someone you love, at least in my experiences.

@no1mad Incorrect answer, I've known her and we've been close friends since the 7th grade...

Rest of you guys, keep it up great to see the diversity in how we all react to our better halves.
Im sure it depends on the guy. My home was a "home" when I was single, and it still is now that Im married to my wonderful wife.
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You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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