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Old 01-05-14, 06:11 PM   #1
VeloNewbie
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Need some "would it be creepy" advice

Hey, I have a complicated situation so I will try to make it short as possible.
I live in the city so I see the same faces very often. Theres someone I would like to get to know and I see her every once in a while at shows or bars sometimes. I know we have the same interest in music because I see her at all the same shows I go to. Anyway, I came across her on facebook(by accident, the "mutual friends" crap) and I sent her a friends request. She accepted. Looking at her page, I do believe she is single and she might be somewhat like-minded. I dont know anyone that knows her well(no mutual friends), so I really have no way of meeting her unless we run into each other at another show(dont know when or if that will ever be). My question is do you guys think it would be creepy if I contacted her on facebook? Something along the lines of "I think I saw you at the *blank* show, lets get coffee sometime". Not exactly like that but....I dont think it would be creepy but its too easy to be considered creepy nowdays.
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Old 01-05-14, 06:26 PM   #2
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i dont think so just dont do it while rubbing butter on ya belly and a sock on ya head
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Old 01-05-14, 06:36 PM   #3
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well first you said you found her via mutual friends, but then say you have no mutual friends on FB. Which is it?

If she accepted your friend request it could mean one of two things: 1) she recognized you too, and accepted because she's hoping to get to you know better, or 2) she's one of those frivolous FB users that accepts friend requests from anyone, has over 800 friends, and actually knows/cares about/communicates with 3% of them.

This day in age, finding people online isn't as much of a social stigma anymore. I say send her a private message saying you've seen her around and you'd hope to get some coffee together or something. I think it's a good open invitation and if she thinks it's creepy she'll either never respond or de-friend you.
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Old 01-05-14, 06:59 PM   #4
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Old 01-05-14, 07:08 PM   #5
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To me, texting or messaging via facebook seems much more creepy than if you had the confidence to walk up to her. I'd say, assuming she's over the age of like 20, I'd go for an in person introduction. I know, so much easier said than done.
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Old 01-05-14, 07:14 PM   #6
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be even more creepy if youre typeing this from her bushes
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Old 01-05-14, 07:35 PM   #7
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be even more creepy if youre typeing this from her bushes


I'm female and I don't think contacting her via FB is creepy, especially if she accepted your friend request. If she's not interested it will give her an easy way to let you know.
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Old 01-05-14, 07:58 PM   #8
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be even more creepy if youre typeing this from her bushes
lol'ed so hard
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Old 01-05-14, 08:01 PM   #9
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well first you said you found her via mutual friends, but then say you have no mutual friends on FB. Which is it?

If she accepted your friend request it could mean one of two things: 1) she recognized you too, and accepted because she's hoping to get to you know better, or 2) she's one of those frivolous FB users that accepts friend requests from anyone, has over 800 friends, and actually knows/cares about/communicates with 3% of them.

This day in age, finding people online isn't as much of a social stigma anymore. I say send her a private message saying you've seen her around and you'd hope to get some coffee together or something. I think it's a good open invitation and if she thinks it's creepy she'll either never respond or de-friend you.
Well we have a few mutual friends on FB(which doesn't really mean anything because people have "friends" on their list that they dont even know.LOL). But I dont think we have any mutual friends in real life. Not that I know of yet.
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Old 01-05-14, 08:03 PM   #10
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To me, texting or messaging via facebook seems much more creepy than if you had the confidence to walk up to her. I'd say, assuming she's over the age of like 20, I'd go for an in person introduction. I know, so much easier said than done.
Well yeah I would LOVE to walk up to her and talk to her but I dont see her all the time. The past few times I did see her, it wasn't a good time(I was with my friends, she was in another conversation, etc...).
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Old 01-05-14, 08:04 PM   #11
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be even more creepy if youre typeing this from her bushes
lmao
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Old 01-05-14, 08:26 PM   #12
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But if he's in her bushes typing is the last thing he should be doing.

Just saying...
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Old 01-05-14, 08:46 PM   #13
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Respond to the threads that she starts, or contributes to. This way she will get to know you. Keep doing it, and make some posts that you think she might enjoy, mutual music group in concert, released new single, whatever, and see if she is responding. When there is definite response, try a few messages and get positive responses. When you are confident of mutual interests and that she responds positively to you. Ask to meet her in a public place like a coffee shop, shopping mall or whatever.

Take your time. My best girlfriends have tended to be a friend for over a year before we started going steady.
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Old 01-05-14, 08:48 PM   #14
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I'm female and I don't think contacting her via FB is creepy, especially if she accepted your friend request. If she's not interested it will give her an easy way to let you know.
...I'm old school. Rejection should be both public and brutally frank.....humiliatingly so. ......It builds character.
............................................And I don't have a Facebook account, so you can rest easy on that score.
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Old 01-05-14, 09:59 PM   #15
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be even more creepy if youre typeing this from her bushes
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Old 01-06-14, 12:05 AM   #16
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Respond to the threads that she starts, or contributes to. This way she will get to know you. Keep doing it, and make some posts that you think she might enjoy, mutual music group in concert, released new single, whatever, and see if she is responding. When there is definite response, try a few messages and get positive responses. When you are confident of mutual interests and that she responds positively to you. Ask to meet her in a public place like a coffee shop, shopping mall or whatever.

Take your time. My best girlfriends have tended to be a friend for over a year before we started going steady.
Then again, you might get friend zoned and won't have a chance.

Just sent a message, use the stuff you have in common to start the conversation.
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Old 01-06-14, 12:22 AM   #17
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.
.
.
...or you could send her a link to his thread, where you will appear quite above average in comparison to some of us.
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Old 01-06-14, 04:30 AM   #18
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Then again, you might get friend zoned and won't have a chance.

Just sent a message, use the stuff you have in common to start the conversation.
Yeah, thats what I want to avoid. I think I might just send her a message. Rejection is no big deal but I am worried about if she did want to get to know me, I hope I dont ruin it by being creepy. But I guess if she liked me enough, creepyness would not be a factor? I dunno
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Old 01-06-14, 07:10 AM   #19
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You're over-analyzing it. Just do something and quit saying "what if."
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Old 01-06-14, 07:48 AM   #20
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.
.
.
...or you could send her a link to his thread, where you will appear quite above average in comparison to some of us.
Best advice yet. This also works for both cycling specifically but life in general.

Don't believe me? Before your next job appraisal, send a link to your boss. Applying for a mortgage, send a link to the loan officer.
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Old 01-06-14, 08:56 AM   #21
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Find a local show you are going to, or watch her page for a band she likes and then see if she is going to that show. Message her and ask if she would like to meet at that show. Gives her a chance to have a wingwoman along, etc. Take it from there.
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Old 01-06-14, 09:15 AM   #22
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Ask her to dance, like this:

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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 01-06-14, 10:43 AM   #23
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You're over-analyzing it. Just do something and quit saying "what if."

My sis tells me this ALL the time. About everything. I cant help it, im an engineering student.LOL
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Old 01-06-14, 10:47 AM   #24
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Im going to have to just message her through facebook. I don't know when I will see her again. Im not in a rush or anything but all this time I would take to gradually work my way in, some other dude could be talking her up. My chance would be gone.
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Old 01-06-14, 11:07 AM   #25
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Im going to have to just message her through facebook. I don't know when I will see her again. Im not in a rush or anything but all this time I would take to gradually work my way in, some other dude could be talking her up. My chance would be gone.
That sounds creepy.
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