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Old 07-20-14, 07:06 PM   #2526
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Never thinks of himself. Always thinks of others.

His only purpose is to serve and manage risk.

Except when he's putting the Tribe's money on the 3rd at Belmont.

"Tight Iris looked good at 7 to 1." he told Betty Lossed in a super exclusive interview with Track & Slots magazine.
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Old 07-20-14, 09:20 PM   #2527
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only gambles when
he knows its a sure thing and
he has church money
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Old 07-20-14, 09:40 PM   #2528
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Goes to church just to fondle the Afterlife...
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Old 07-20-14, 09:46 PM   #2529
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After his surgery the doc said, "Well, fondling is the final solution".
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Old 07-21-14, 04:17 PM   #2530
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Has given up fondling for Ramadan.
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Old 07-21-14, 05:38 PM   #2531
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Will fondle for Ramen.
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Old 07-21-14, 05:52 PM   #2532
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is working on a pop song
about eating ramen during ramadan
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Old 07-21-14, 06:16 PM   #2533
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Lives in terror that the ramen will become self-aware and send its noodly tentacles after him.
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Old 07-21-14, 07:42 PM   #2534
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In the Tribe's secret bunker MillCreek is creating the ultimate weapon they will direct to the palefaces: Pasta-based nano noodles that seek young yoga practicing performers of self-promoting transcendental ego trips.

"Bwahahah!" he told Aboriginal Times, "Those yuppies will pay!"
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Old 07-21-14, 07:56 PM   #2535
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should be expecting a letter from the lawer of the good people
at aboriginal times news and pornographic magazine any day now
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Old 07-21-14, 07:56 PM   #2536
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Has finally come out regarding ramen. "If Bill O'Reilly uses them in the shower, why can't I?"
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Old 07-21-14, 08:47 PM   #2537
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Pioneered the use of ramen as surrogates for real men.

History hasn't been kind.
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Old 07-21-14, 09:09 PM   #2538
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Sailed his raft of ramen to prove that he and Forrest Gump were separated at birth.
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Old 07-22-14, 06:42 PM   #2539
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As a zygote inhaled a unit of semen to prove he and his evil twin Jerky were to be separated at birth.
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Old 07-22-14, 07:26 PM   #2540
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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

As Hurky, he grew found of the Hurky Jerky and took his one handed act on the road.
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Old 07-22-14, 07:56 PM   #2541
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Thinks that 'Jerky Zygote' would be an excellent name for a band.
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Old 07-23-14, 07:43 AM   #2542
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Proudly wears his days-of-the-week Daisy Dukes.
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Old 07-23-14, 04:13 PM   #2543
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His mom took his Big Boy pants away from him after that last incident.
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Old 07-23-14, 04:59 PM   #2544
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Was lucky enough to get YO MAMA vanity plates.
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Old 07-23-14, 05:36 PM   #2545
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Was lucky enough to have made my YO MAMA vanity plate.
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Old 07-24-14, 09:43 AM   #2546
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He's just a rebadged jsharr with a higher price tag.
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Old 07-24-14, 10:06 AM   #2547
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Considers price no obstacle.
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.... Other than being completely wrong, you're correct.
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Old 07-24-14, 10:09 AM   #2548
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Considers His Cone of Shame a fashion statement.
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Old 07-24-14, 10:15 AM   #2549
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Assumes everyone does...
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Old 07-24-14, 11:07 AM   #2550
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Is famous for having survived a walk on a bed of hot coals while carrying a bottle of very unstable nitro-glycerine after having sniffed a bunch of pepper that was thrown in his face.
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