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Old 04-21-17, 08:29 AM   #8726
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His favorite man cave pinup is Melissa McCarthy's swimsuit edition
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Old 04-21-17, 12:09 PM   #8727
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Brings a variety of spices and a canoe to paddle to the hotel hot tub. That usually clears the place out.
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Old 04-21-17, 12:24 PM   #8728
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As a cajun cheesehead he's not sure how he feels about the weather everyday.
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Old 04-21-17, 08:02 PM   #8729
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Wants to put a name to the prejudice he faces every day. Wonders if it's bad-breathism?
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Old 04-21-17, 08:45 PM   #8730
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Ahsposo's boss was down at the local tavern the other night, and he was overhead saying, "That Ahsposo fellow is a trouble maker, he's always causing a big stink at the workplace, since he's forever talking out of his ass".
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Old 04-21-17, 11:01 PM   #8731
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Didn't know there was a tavern in that town until he Googled it.
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Old 04-22-17, 08:25 AM   #8732
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His friends call him "Lucky". His enemies call him "Lucky". His wife calls him "Hard to Kill".
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Old 04-22-17, 09:13 AM   #8733
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Knows who the loneliest monk is but still wont tell.
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Old 04-22-17, 12:53 PM   #8734
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Leaves it to beaver.
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Old 04-22-17, 05:16 PM   #8735
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Is in a love triangle with Alexa and Echo.
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Old 04-22-17, 05:56 PM   #8736
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Bought Siri a dozen roses.
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Old 04-22-17, 07:24 PM   #8737
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Donated all of his entire life savings to the Sarah Palin School of Etiquette for Women.
He was quoted as saying,"A woman should have all the necessary skills to whip up a cup of coffee or sandwich at a moment's notice."
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Old 04-22-17, 07:51 PM   #8738
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Has learned how to stop worrying and love the lie.
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Old 04-22-17, 10:10 PM   #8739
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Has performed Strangelove as a tango.
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Old 04-22-17, 10:26 PM   #8740
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Is in the process of devising a scheme to hold the world hostage for a 1 million dollar ransom.
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Old 04-22-17, 11:32 PM   #8741
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Perfected sharks with frickin' laser beams. Discovered the key was hand raising sharks from babies that gazed at him in adoration.

Now working on perfecting laser beam burn dressings.
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Old 04-23-17, 06:44 AM   #8742
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Is renting out his moral compass to The President. He's confident it will be returned in almost an unused condition.
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Old 04-23-17, 05:57 PM   #8743
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Is planning an all inclusive vacation in North Korea, with the highlight of the trip culminating in a week's stay at each of their prison camps, and he was assured, by the DPRK tourism authority,that the prison camp accommodations would be first rate.
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Old 04-23-17, 06:18 PM   #8744
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Voted most likely to cause an international scandal during all 8 years of high school.
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Old 04-23-17, 07:42 PM   #8745
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Expelled from the School of Hard Knocks for repeated incidents of responsible behavior.
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Old 04-24-17, 07:22 AM   #8746
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Believes that 'responsible behavior' is only a social construct, and nudity is the way Nature intended us to live.
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Old 04-24-17, 07:43 AM   #8747
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Has been known to lick the fresh warm salty sweat from old brooks saddles
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Old 04-24-17, 07:50 AM   #8748
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Purchased Mel Brooks' stolen bicycle saddle off ebay. Yes it's hot, blazing you might say.
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Old 04-24-17, 08:28 AM   #8749
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Gets High Anxiety whenever he's near Cloris Leachman.
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Old 04-24-17, 09:37 AM   #8750
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Has an uncontrollable urge to whinny whenever someone says 'Blucher'
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