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Old 03-23-14, 06:45 PM   #951
gitarzan
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Is Yeti-American. Says the name Bigfoot is a racial slur.
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Old 03-23-14, 06:52 PM   #952
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Is Mid-Western American. Says the epithet 'boring' is a racial or at least cultural slur.

Is writing his Congress member when he gets sufficiently riled up.

Maybe three more beers...
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Old 03-23-14, 07:24 PM   #953
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Only needs one beer...
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Old 03-23-14, 08:14 PM   #954
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Heck, he'll do it sober and for free.

What else does he have to do?
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Old 03-23-14, 08:28 PM   #955
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As the Abominable Melon, he'll be going up against The Great Pumpkin in a cage match. Both are seedy characters. The loser will be turned into bread and/or pie and served in a dark and dank church basement next Sunday.
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Old 03-23-14, 08:50 PM   #956
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Thinks there is such a thing as watermelon bread or pie.
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Old 03-23-14, 08:52 PM   #957
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As the Great North's preeminent Sasquatch tracker, he knows a thing or two about shacking up over winter in a dank dark church basement with a hairy beast.
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Old 03-24-14, 03:11 AM   #958
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As a prime example of Nasty White Trash, he knows a thing or two about turning a messy stinky trailer into a home.

And a meth lab.
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Old 03-24-14, 06:07 AM   #959
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gallagher's brother's opening act on the '08 tour across nebraska.
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Old 03-24-14, 07:47 AM   #960
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Was a one-percenter. Now...a Fiddy Center.
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Old 03-24-14, 08:22 AM   #961
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His center is filled with the finest French nougat.
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Old 03-24-14, 10:15 PM   #962
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Lies I tell yea! Lies! Shameless, shameless. Now where's my "cookbook"?


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As a prime example of Nasty White Trash, he knows a thing or two about turning a messy stinky trailer into a home.

And a meth lab.
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Old 03-25-14, 12:17 PM   #963
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He's been stalking the Thompson Twins since '82.
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Old 03-25-14, 12:25 PM   #964
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Wants to be a Joker look a like so he can hang with the Thompson twins.
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Old 03-25-14, 08:52 PM   #965
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Is obsessed with getting his testicles to hang evenly.
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Old 03-25-14, 09:48 PM   #966
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hangs his from the rear view.
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Old 03-25-14, 09:48 PM   #967
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his first sexual experience was at fifteen
after his birthday party
with a leftover half watermelon

he called her cindy
their relationship lasted four months
and just like every girlfriend he has had since then
he kept her in a box under his bed
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Old 03-25-14, 10:32 PM   #968
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Goes by his handle "Melon Head".
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Old 03-26-14, 05:57 AM   #969
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Won't stop Beliebering.
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Old 03-26-14, 06:15 AM   #970
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hes here for a long time
not a good time
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Old 03-26-14, 11:45 AM   #971
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Doesn't even know there's a high road to take.
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Old 03-26-14, 04:03 PM   #972
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Spent hours on the couch trying to come up with a convoluted story to explain the high road, and Colorado and John Denver singing 'Rocky Mountain High' and herb-infused brownies, and just ended up smoking a real fat one.
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Old 03-26-14, 05:18 PM   #973
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Just missed having the high road come down on the lodge.

And I for one am OK with that.
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Old 03-26-14, 05:23 PM   #974
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I discovered the only reason that he had been upright by his desk in the first place was that he had been nailed there.
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Old 03-26-14, 06:17 PM   #975
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Gets nailed, naked and nasty.

Not necessarily in that order.
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