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Old 09-12-17, 06:06 AM   #9826
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His contribution to the new iPhone?...no power button. Gimme gimme gimme!
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Old 09-12-17, 06:59 AM   #9827
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His Android phone runs the latest OS - Electric Sheep.
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Old 09-12-17, 11:08 AM   #9828
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Keeps calling Cortana Alexa.
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Old 09-12-17, 11:10 AM   #9829
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Opted for "More Human Than Human" modification. Didn't realize it wasn't an upgrade.
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Old 09-12-17, 11:12 AM   #9830
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Loves his new AP that makes his phone's voice sound like Carlton the door man.
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Old 09-12-17, 11:57 AM   #9831
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Didn't realize that Carnation Instant Breakfast has nothing to do with carnal knowledge.
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Old 09-12-17, 12:04 PM   #9832
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In an excess of caution, had the movie theater evacuated before he opened his box of Milk Duds.
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Old 09-12-17, 03:18 PM   #9833
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Seeks out older theatres with balcony seating, and with his liking to sit under the balconies, since they bring back many fond memories of sodas and other food items being dropped on him.
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Old 09-12-17, 04:47 PM   #9834
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Is overly excited about all the potential recycling to be done after the hurricanes and wonders how many trips it would take him to bring it all back to the north 40.
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Old 09-12-17, 05:24 PM   #9835
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Will pre-chew your gum for you, then give it to the dog.
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Old 09-12-17, 05:29 PM   #9836
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Is still hoping to one day get done by a little dab.
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Old 09-12-17, 08:11 PM   #9837
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Looking for products to hold stuff in place consumes most of his waking hours.
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Old 09-12-17, 08:25 PM   #9838
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Has one of these to hold things in place: Behold The Fatberg: London's 130-Ton, 'Rock-Solid' Sewer Blockage : The Two-Way : NPR
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Old 09-13-17, 07:24 AM   #9839
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Many years after graduating from 8th grade, he is still working on his 9th grade thesis of the advantages of people with only one front tooth.
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Old 09-13-17, 07:36 AM   #9840
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Has a very simple Christmas list.
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Old 09-13-17, 07:46 AM   #9841
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Has Sally Fields's Oscar acceptance speech as his screen saver for his personal inspiration in posting on Foo.




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Old 09-13-17, 08:38 AM   #9842
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Can finally enjoy his favorite gifs and memes with the new scratch 'n sniff iphone.
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Old 09-13-17, 08:48 AM   #9843
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Proudly displays his prized Hustler Magazine scratch and sniff issue in a hermetically sealed frame on his man cave wall.
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Old 09-14-17, 05:15 AM   #9844
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His life is a rags to rags story.
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Old 09-14-17, 08:04 AM   #9845
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On the occasion when he can sneak out of his rest home's back door, he will hit the town after a quick change into his birthday suit.
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Old 09-14-17, 12:58 PM   #9846
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Sometimes his teeth stay in, sometimes they don't.
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Old 09-14-17, 03:11 PM   #9847
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Was born in a crossfire hurricane.
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Old 09-14-17, 03:23 PM   #9848
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Crossthreads tornadoes.
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Old 09-14-17, 03:35 PM   #9849
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Was born to be mild.
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Old 09-14-17, 03:42 PM   #9850
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His vanity plates reads: DONUTZ
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