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Old 04-29-14, 09:48 AM   #1376
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Took him a long time to train them...
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Old 04-29-14, 05:21 PM   #1377
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Is not so much a trainer as he is a spirit animal: the lemur.
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Old 04-29-14, 06:04 PM   #1378
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He took down his cardboard cutout. It was getting too much work done and the boss was getting curious.
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Old 04-29-14, 06:35 PM   #1379
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Is sick of only being considered just a 'pretty thing'.

If only "Jeopardy" would return his phone calls and emails, then he'd show us.
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Old 04-29-14, 07:30 PM   #1380
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said to his fruity girlfriend, "i don't care what you do with oranges or apples. you can **** 'em for all i care. but do you have to take pictures with them? can't you hang out with watermelons when in public? that's all i ask."

he was subsequently banned for life from everything previously known to him.
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Old 04-29-14, 10:19 PM   #1381
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Was shocked and horrified to find a 'morals clause' in his franchise agreement.
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Old 04-29-14, 10:24 PM   #1382
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...still looking for the moral to the story. He knows it's there, somewhere. It's quite irritating that it seems just out of reach.
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Old 04-29-14, 10:45 PM   #1383
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After having some truffle, he resorted to using a pig to find the morel to the story.
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Old 04-29-14, 10:47 PM   #1384
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Is unashamed about "using a pig".
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Old 04-30-14, 02:42 AM   #1385
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Has fantasies about being used "like a pig".
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Old 04-30-14, 05:41 AM   #1386
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Has a purdy mouth and squeals like a pig, just like Ned Beatty.
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Old 04-30-14, 05:51 AM   #1387
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Plays a mean banjo.
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Old 04-30-14, 07:57 AM   #1388
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played the guitar part...
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Old 04-30-14, 08:04 AM   #1389
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Rosined up his bow and played his fiddle hard.
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Old 04-30-14, 09:24 AM   #1390
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hes got a real purdy mouth
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Old 04-30-14, 03:58 PM   #1391
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His mouth is purdier.
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Old 04-30-14, 04:36 PM   #1392
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His mouth resembles Frank Purdue....
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Old 04-30-14, 05:31 PM   #1393
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Was raised as a chicken but escaped when he started to pullet.
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Old 04-30-14, 08:19 PM   #1394
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Knows that it takes a tough man to raise a tender chicken.
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Old 04-30-14, 08:37 PM   #1395
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Was fired for not being able to choke a chicken in the kitchen...
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Old 04-30-14, 10:45 PM   #1396
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Was rehired on the spot when he demonstrated how his Marty Feldman eyes compliment his "O" face.
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Old 04-30-14, 10:52 PM   #1397
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Thought a Suburban was an inferior brown liquor distilled in Kentucky.
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Old 05-01-14, 08:36 AM   #1398
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Was shocked I tell you, shocked to learn that his black water line was hooked up to the Suburban distillery.
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Old 05-01-14, 09:25 AM   #1399
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his newest business venture
yellow water distilleries
has not been the moneymaker he expected
despite the source of free raw materials he has discovered
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Old 05-01-14, 10:40 AM   #1400
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...when he came to this thread initially, he intended to shine as a beacon of truth. It's a hard thing to get dragged down into the mud with everyone else.
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