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Old 01-27-14, 11:43 AM   #126
Wilfred Laurier
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when the first of the bombings happens at the upcoming olympics
he will be disappointed
and consider it a net drag on the excitement of the games
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Old 01-27-14, 12:15 PM   #127
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Is representing Canada in the Snot Rocket competition in Sochi.
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 01-27-14, 12:33 PM   #128
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Is representing Canada in the Snot Rocket competition in Sochi.
you dont know how close to the awful awful truth you are

if it wasnt for my deviated septum
which makes my left nostril prone to misfire
i would have gone pro
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Old 01-27-14, 02:30 PM   #129
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Claims that his deviated septum is not a result of excessive cocaine use.
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Old 01-27-14, 02:58 PM   #130
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he is a known as a deviant among the regular gang at the crack house
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Old 01-27-14, 03:05 PM   #131
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Dreams of showering with a friend to test his deviated septum.
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Old 01-27-14, 03:11 PM   #132
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Dreams of traveling back in time to mount and tame the rolling thesaurus. Mainly the mounting.
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Old 01-27-14, 03:31 PM   #133
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...jaded by his years of running the house of soiled doves, he dreams of an expansion to another house, specializing in deviant doves. Mounting courtesy of the Kama Sutra.
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Old 01-27-14, 06:35 PM   #134
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Never played hangman's noose with another wet noodle....
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Old 01-27-14, 07:20 PM   #135
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Has tried to shoot pool with a limp noodle.

Honest!
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 01-27-14, 07:59 PM   #136
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...so fast on his bicycle that snot rockets will not fly clear, off to the side, but are instead plastered against his shoulder, like snotty epaulets. His pals call him General Booger.
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Old 01-27-14, 08:28 PM   #137
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uses his snot rockets to lube his chain.
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Old 01-27-14, 08:33 PM   #138
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Is trying to build his side business of chain replacement with belt drives made of the finest fossilized rolling thesaurus hide.
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Old 01-27-14, 08:35 PM   #139
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...in order to make his life simpler and more efficient, he lubricates everything with Astro-glide. Also uses it as a cooking oil. "Mmmm, good eatin'," sez he.
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Old 01-27-14, 08:37 PM   #140
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Visitors often wonder why his kitchen smells like a porn movie set.
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Old 01-27-14, 08:50 PM   #141
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He makes bacon. Oh yes he does.
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Old 01-27-14, 08:53 PM   #142
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Wears a suit made out of bacon.
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Old 01-27-14, 09:12 PM   #143
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...in order to simplify his life, he uses bacon as a sex lubricant. "Mmmmm, good eatin'," sez he.
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Old 01-27-14, 09:14 PM   #144
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That is definitely a lie as I'm a "she" rather than a "he".

3Alarmer: Uses "I want to check you for ticks" as a pick up line.
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Old 01-27-14, 10:20 PM   #145
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..has been known to fall for the old, "I want to check you for ticks," pick up line. More than once. Repeatedly, depending on sobriety levels. A lot.
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Old 01-27-14, 10:57 PM   #146
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Eats fried scorpions on a stick instead of potato chips.
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Old 01-27-14, 10:59 PM   #147
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Rebuilds pacemakers in her spare time so the "check you for ticks" pickup line is one she favors.
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Old 01-27-14, 11:00 PM   #148
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Eats fried scorpions on a stick instead of potato chips.
...her favorite snack ? Ticks on a stick. Delicious when slathered with a curried mayo dip.
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Old 01-27-14, 11:03 PM   #149
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Rebuilds pacemakers in his spare time so the "check you for ticks" pickup line is one he favors.
...has posted signage throughout his neighborhood declaring it a nuclear free, mandatory, shower with a friend of the opposite sex zone.
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Old 01-27-14, 11:05 PM   #150
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Never gets corked but frequently goes off half-crocked.
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