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Old 01-27-14, 11:59 PM   #151
3alarmer
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...likes to watch television in the shower. Shocking.
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Old 01-28-14, 06:57 AM   #152
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Is having fantasies about a tick infested Snicklefritz...
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 01-28-14, 09:12 AM   #153
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Had a fantasy...once. T'was back in the spring of '99 when he was just a man with two pets, Tic and Toc.
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Old 01-28-14, 09:26 AM   #154
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That is definitely a lie as I'm a "she" rather than a "he".

3Alarmer: Uses "I want to check you for ticks" as a pick up line.
Denies the use of bacon to facilitate activities of a most sensitve and personal nature.
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Old 01-28-14, 09:34 AM   #155
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Is having extremely lurid fantasies about a bacon wrapped Snicklefritz.

Is at the point where he's thinking "Maybe a side of pork sausage and a couple of meatballs, Oh Yeah..."
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...ixnay on the exsay alktay.
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Old 01-28-14, 09:49 AM   #156
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His brain is on the fritz, bats are in his belfry too...
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Old 01-28-14, 09:53 AM   #157
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Craves affirmation so badly that he frequents the public library, lurking by the card catalog and offering to "guide" patrons to their book.
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Old 01-28-14, 10:39 AM   #158
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Quit going to the library when they took out all the card catalogs. You just can't disorganize a computer the way you could a card catalog.

Those were Good Times...
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Old 01-28-14, 10:43 AM   #159
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Runs the defragment programs on all the library computers simultaneously...
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Old 01-28-14, 10:47 AM   #160
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Checked out the book "how to roll a fat one"
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Old 01-28-14, 11:09 AM   #161
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cheated his way to two medals as part of the really rottens in the '79 laff-a-lympics, narrowly edging out scooby dum both times.
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Old 01-28-14, 12:19 PM   #162
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....thinking about bacon for breakfast this morning.
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Old 01-28-14, 12:33 PM   #163
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Made a bacon bowl to eat his breakfast cereal from...
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Old 01-28-14, 12:41 PM   #164
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...never sprinkles bacon bits on his lovers. The idea of doing so disgusts him.
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Old 01-28-14, 12:54 PM   #165
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knows me too well
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Old 01-28-14, 01:00 PM   #166
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Saves bacon grease to repack bearings of belligerent shop customers. Usually results in inexplicable rise in the number of dog chases and near misses...
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Old 01-28-14, 02:14 PM   #167
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"Repacks" his "bearings" sometimes twice a day...
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Old 01-28-14, 07:38 PM   #168
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Wonders if too-frequent bearing repacking could explain his sudden loss of vision.
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Old 01-28-14, 07:51 PM   #169
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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Figured he could improve his bearings by opening a lot of CrackrJacks for the plastic compass.
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Old 01-28-14, 07:54 PM   #170
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...still checking himself for ticks.
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Old 01-28-14, 07:54 PM   #171
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Ticks die after making relations with his old, toxic extremely nasty corpus.
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Old 01-28-14, 08:19 PM   #172
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Begs passersby to habeas his corpus.
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Old 01-28-14, 08:27 PM   #173
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...his corpus delicti is delectable. He's delightful, he's delerious, he's delovely.
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Old 01-28-14, 08:40 PM   #174
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Has finally crossed to the dark side!
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Old 01-28-14, 08:54 PM   #175
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Has grasped, gassed, gasped and passed a corpus.
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