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Old 02-28-14, 08:38 AM   #1
jsharr
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My morning, or you can't make this stuff up

From Today’s You Can’t Make This Stuff Up File: 7:00am, the phone rings. My wife is at work and cannot find her cell phone. Asks me to find it and bring it to her. I search the bedroom, unmake and remake the bed, look in robe pockets, on vanity, on makeup table, on dresser. Head to the home office and look by computer, in her “stuff chair”, carry bag, etc. Head to kitchen, check by coffee maker, on table, but microwave, by fridge, on counters, no luck. Head to laundry room, check on washer and dryer, shelves, and in coat pockets, nothing.
So I get Ryan ready, get Wade off to bus stop and drive Ryan to school. I park and head into the school office to get Martha’s car keys so I can go search her car. Look under seats, in console, in glove box, under car. Still nothing.
Head back into school to tell Martha the bad news. She decides to check her purse one more time. NOTHING.
Then, she checks her BACK POCKET OF HER JEANS! BINGO!
At least I know where to start looking next time this happens….
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 08:40 AM   #2
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I've been there, done that. It's even more embarrassing when everyone in the office is looking for your phone so you get someone to call it, and your butt starts ringing....actually playing AC/DC's highway to hell. embarassing!
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Old 02-28-14, 09:05 AM   #3
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Why didn't you start by calling the phone?
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Old 02-28-14, 09:07 AM   #4
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Why didn't you start by calling the phone?
Yeah, I thought y'all Texicans were smart.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:12 AM   #5
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Why didn't you start by calling the phone?
Oh, I did. She had it on silent and no vibrate.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:17 AM   #6
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Oh, I did. She had it on silent and no vibrate.
I guess the phone lighting up in the pants pocket would not have worked.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:17 AM   #7
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Have you seen my keys?
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Old 02-28-14, 09:22 AM   #8
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I've seen my wife look for her phone while on her phone and another time while holding it in her hand.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:28 AM   #9
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Better than the time I had helping my wife hunt for her keys. Nearly took the house apart looking for them. They can't be in the car because she wouldn't have been able to get into the house, but, well, may as well check there. Open the door and there they are hanging in the door knob.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:34 AM   #10
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Lost my car key for a few days once because it fell out of my pocket when hurriedly digging for my house keys-- it landed under a bush to the right of the door, and since I am deaf in my right ear, I never heard it land.

Perhaps your wife needs a bigger phone? Maybe a phablet? No losing that in your pocket!
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Old 02-28-14, 09:34 AM   #11
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Better than the time I had helping my wife hunt for her keys. Nearly took the house apart looking for them. They can't be in the car because she wouldn't have been able to get into the house, but, well, may as well check there. Open the door and there they are hanging in the door knob.
Hah, I've done that one myself. At least it beats locking yourself out. One cold rainy day last year I was at my office and went to go pick up my wife from work. Flipped the knob lock on the office door, walked out to the car, reached in my pocket for my keys, and they weren't there. I had laid them on my desk instead of returning them to my jacket when I was sorting through the mail that day.

So, I had to call my wife and tell her the great news that I would need her keys to retrieve my keys. She was nice enough to walk and meet me halfway (I walk faster so it was more like 3/4 of the way). Luckily it's only a mile or two. I now always tap my keys to make sure they're there (their!) when locking up on my way out now.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:37 AM   #12
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New Hallmark holiday...Blonde Friday™
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Old 02-28-14, 09:45 AM   #13
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Have you seen my keys?
No, but I will grab your ass if you want.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:46 AM   #14
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Better than the time I had helping my wife hunt for her keys. Nearly took the house apart looking for them. They can't be in the car because she wouldn't have been able to get into the house, but, well, may as well check there. Open the door and there they are hanging in the door knob.

Yeah, she did that one at school this week. Unlocked a door, left keys in door and called looking for keys.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 09:47 AM   #15
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New Hallmark holiday...Blonde Friday™
Do we celebrate it on Wednesday or Sunday?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 10:18 AM   #16
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No, but I will grab your ass if you want.
Think of the kids. They will miss you after I bury you in a snow drift. Well, the dog will miss you.
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Old 02-28-14, 10:21 AM   #17
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Think of the kids. They will miss you after I bury you in a snow drift. Well, the dog will miss you.

Hey, I said if YOU want. This is not about me, mister.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 10:28 AM   #18
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Do we celebrate it on Wednesday or Sunday?
Blonday. If I might ask a personal question, are you Scandinavian?
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Old 02-28-14, 10:35 AM   #19
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Blonday. If I might ask a personal question, are you Scandinavian?
No, Scotch / Romanian
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 02-28-14, 11:00 AM   #20
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Hey, I said if YOU want. This is not about me, mister.


I don't want to do any shoveling anyway.
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Old 02-28-14, 11:10 AM   #21
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New Hallmark holiday...Blonde Friday™
Yay!

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Old 02-28-14, 11:15 AM   #22
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I have lookout on my phone, and it's supposed to be able to make a racket as long as the phone is on. Imagine the look on her face if that would have happened!
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Old 02-28-14, 11:17 AM   #23
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...I can't believe I slept through all that confusion and uproar. I must be getting old.
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Old 02-28-14, 11:30 AM   #24
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I guess the phone lighting up in the pants pocket would not have worked.
I can just see it now...

"Why did your butt light up?"

"Oh, must just be the sun shining"
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Old 02-28-14, 12:15 PM   #25
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Dude, my wife has called me from her phone before because she couldn't find it. Not kidding one bit. She couldn't find her van keys once, so she took her van keyfob to unlock the van to look for her keys, too............

I once lost my glasses because I was wearing them, but it was 2am and we had a new baby, so there's that element...
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