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Old 04-17-14, 10:17 AM   #1
Joe Perez
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It is an abomination against fermentation.

In the 1979 The Muppet Movie, Kermit the Frog orders a bottle of sparkling muscatel, "one of the finest wines of Idaho," from the waiter Steve Martin at a restaurant. When the wine is served, Martin asks if Kermit would like to smell the bottlecap.




This scene has stuck with me over the years, and I've oft used the phrase "one of the fine wines of Idaho" as a derogatory remark for wine which I've found less than palatable. But I don't recall that I've ever actually encountered wine sealed with a bottle cap- even the famous and now deprecated Two Buck Chuck (aka Charles Shaw, the de-facto Trader Joe's house brand), always came with a cork, albeit a ****ty one.


Well, yesterday I happened to be at my local K-Mart (two stories underground on 34th between 7th & 8th in midtown Manhattan), and I came across the following display:





Yes, it's true. Famous and semi-talented American rapper Nicholas Minaj now has his very own line of artificially-flavored wines, available at K-Mart ($7.99 for 4 small bottles), sealed with a bottlecap.




Rest in Peace, Kermit.

Last edited by CbadRider; 04-18-14 at 09:26 AM. Reason: edited out bad word
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Old 04-17-14, 10:22 AM   #2
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More of a wine cooler than a wine. Wine coolers have been bottle capped for a long time.

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Old 04-17-14, 12:13 PM   #3
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Wine coolers have been bottle capped for a long time.
Fair enough.

The humor in this case, at least for me, presupposes a basic knowledge of wines and winemaking, and rests upon the fact that Muscatel (as ordered by Kermit & served by Steve Martin) and Moscato (as endorsed by Mr. Minaj) are two different names for the same basic type of wine, both made from the Muscat grape.

In other words, Minaj could not have chosen a more ironic wine to carbonate and put a bottle-cap onto. The MYX-branded wines pictured above are, quite literally, Sparkling Muscatel as described by Steve Martin in what was, originally, a joke.
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Old 04-17-14, 12:22 PM   #4
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You sound like you know what your talking about, but I'm going to bow to the wisdom of a hip hop artist when it comes to wine. They could not have gotten to where they are today if not for their expertise in matters such as wine, fragrance, clothing, or potato chips.

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Old 04-17-14, 12:22 PM   #5
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Quite a number of wines are screw caps nowadays - not far off from bottle caps.

Also fwiw Nicki Minaj is a woman - the one in the photo actually
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Old 04-17-14, 12:24 PM   #6
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Something tells me the people shopping for alcohol at K-Mart don't know what the word fermentation means.
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Old 04-17-14, 12:25 PM   #7
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Old 04-17-14, 01:13 PM   #8
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I'm going to bow to the wisdom of a hip hop artist when it comes to wine. They could not have gotten to where they are today if not for their expertise in matters such as wine, fragrance, clothing, or potato chips.
Rap-flavored potato chips. Now I have truly seen everything.




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Also fwiw Nicki Minaj is a woman - the one in the photo actually


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Old 04-17-14, 02:49 PM   #9
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So, how was it?
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Old 04-17-14, 02:51 PM   #10
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And here I was thinking the OP had created a horrible abomination homebrew... guess it's just me that needs to flush about 4 gallons of bad booze
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Old 04-17-14, 03:02 PM   #11
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Rap-flavored potato chips. Now I have truly seen everything.







Source: Sarcasm - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary

lol. I thought there was a special font for that
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Old 04-17-14, 11:33 PM   #12
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One of my favorite dessert wines is Moscato Amabile, a very sweet, flowery wine with a slight natural carbonation. It always came with a cork though.
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Old 04-18-14, 06:12 AM   #13
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more and more sparkling wine is now coming with a cap. Why? Why not? They work for beer just fine. Cork and cage take a lot more effort (more cost to consumer) than a cap. Cap is easier, and safer, to remove as well

Are you sure that product is fermented? its probably cheap vodka watered down with artificial flavors. I mean, the folks buying that garbage are not likely wine drinkers...
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Old 04-18-14, 07:06 AM   #14
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So, how was it?
Heck if I know.




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And here I was thinking the OP had created a horrible abomination homebrew... guess it's just me that needs to flush about 4 gallons of bad booze
Don't I wish. I knew I wouldn't have space for a brewing setup in my tiny little apartment here, so I gave away most of my supplies when I left California. Cajun cooker, kettle, carboys, Tap-a-draft, the works.





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more and more sparkling wine is now coming with a cap. Why? Why not? They work for beer just fine. Cork and cage take a lot more effort (more cost to consumer) than a cap. Cap is easier, and safer, to remove as well
I know, it's mainly a matter of "pride in your product" to me. That, and as I said, the hilarious irony that Manaj chose to produce the exact wine that the writers of Muppet Movie created as a joke 35 years ago.



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Are you sure that product is fermented? its probably cheap vodka watered down with artificial flavors.
Fermentation refers to the process whereby yeast break down the sugars in a liquid and transform them into alcohol and CO2.

So, yes, I'm quite sure that it's fermented. First, it would be illegal in the US to label a grain-alcohol product as Moscato. That's why most such products are labeled "malt beverage" or "fortified wine."

But second, even cheap vodka / gran alcohol is fermented- that's how it becomes alcohol in the first place. The principal difference between spirits and beer / wine is that the latter go directly into the bottle with just a simple filtering and clarification, whereas spirits undergo a distillation process- after fermentation, the liquid is heated to a temperature below the boiling point of water but above the boiling point of alcohol, to boil the alcohol, which is then captured as steam and condensed into a second container.

This is how the proof (% alcohol) of spirits such as whiskey, rum, vodka, etc., is raised to levels which would be lethal to yeast and thereby unattainable by purely organic methods.
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Old 04-18-14, 09:31 AM   #15
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more and more sparkling wine is now coming with a cap. Why? Why not? They work for beer just fine. Cork and cage take a lot more effort (more cost to consumer) than a cap. Cap is easier, and safer, to remove as well
Screw caps are not subject to cork rot, either. Some of the bigger wine makers had a problem with cork rot so they switched to screw caps.
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Old 04-18-14, 09:42 AM   #16
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There's just something about pulling the cork out of a bottle of wine that sets the mood though.
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Old 04-18-14, 11:08 AM   #17
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There's just something about pulling the cork out of a bottle of wine that sets the mood though.
*EXACTLY*

The experience of a beer is enhanced by decanting it from a bottle into a room-temperature glass and then savoring it in a dimly-lit room with the company of good friends, as opposed to pulling the tab off of a tin can and slurping it down while sitting in the back of a lorry outside a football match while surrounded by drunken idiots.

In the same way, the experience of a wine cannot help but be diminished by any tactile or auditory sensation which harkens back to a frog and a pig being served by a jerk.
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Old 04-18-14, 01:23 PM   #18
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I was expecting this thread to be about PBR.

Pleasantly surprised.
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Old 04-18-14, 01:36 PM   #19
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There's just something about pulling the cork out of a bottle of wine that sets the mood though.
Not if you are young and unfamiliar with corks, which I imagine would describe the target market for myx.
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Old 04-18-14, 01:40 PM   #20
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Not if you are young and unfamiliar with corks, which I imagine would describe the target market for Myx.
Well we, as the elders in society, cannot allow our youth to fall prey to these bottle caps. We must swoop in and show the young women how delightful uncorking a wine bottle can be. They can in turn knock the PBR from the young men's hands and show them the proper way to enjoy fermented spirit.
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Old 04-18-14, 03:17 PM   #21
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the wine i buy for home has no cork nor screw cap, but a spout.

the box of cab sits in its designated spot on kitchen counter before it's replaced every three weeks.

and ... it also fits perfectly on the rear bike rack for those trips to the beach when you're unsure how much wine to bring. four or five liters oughta do 'er.
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Old 04-18-14, 03:23 PM   #22
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I must admit that I do miss the Target wine cubes that we had back in California. They don't seem to be available here on the communist coast. While by no means the best wine imaginable, their Shiraz was much more palatable than Charles Shaw and, most importantly, the bag-and-faucetmechanism meant that wine stayed drinkable in the box for much longer after being opened. A single cube could be consumed at a leisurely pace over the course of several days, rather than needing to be wolfed down in a single evening lest it spoil.

I have yet to find a comparable boxed wine here, though I will admit that I haven't looked all that hard. My tastes skew much more towards dark rums and whiskeys- I've been exploring Kentucky Bourbons in particular of late.
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Old 04-18-14, 03:43 PM   #23
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*EXACTLY*

The experience of a beer is enhanced by decanting it from a bottle into a room-temperature glass and then savoring it in a dimly-lit room with the company of good friends, as opposed to pulling the tab off of a tin can and slurping it down while sitting in the back of a lorry outside a football match while surrounded by drunken idiots.

In the same way, the experience of a wine cannot help but be diminished by any tactile or auditory sensation which harkens back to a frog and a pig being served by a jerk.
Wait a minute, both those descriptions of imbibing in beer have their place... just as opening a ice chest cold Pacifico on a warm summer evening while sitting 'round the campfire in Baja also has it's own charm... Time and place my friend, time and place.

BTW I prefer my ales decanted into chilled glasses that warm slowly as they release all the subtle aromas and flavors of a fine local microbrew, with each sip... "room temp glass..." really?
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Old 04-18-14, 03:48 PM   #24
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BTW I prefer my ales decanted into chilled glasses that warm slowly as they release all the subtle aromas and flavors of a fine local microbrew, with each sip... "room temp glass..." really?
This is probably the one thing about living in the US which I find most... foreign; the obsession with cold drinks. Nearly everything is served with ice in it, and beer glasses are customarily kept in a freezer such that the beer, once poured, becomes so chilled that the taste buds are numbed and the aroma is lost. I have even seen beer served from pitchers containing an inner compartment to hold ice.

If you've not experienced it, I urge you to drink a brown ale at cellar temperature served in a warm glass. A matter of preference, perhaps, but I feel that ales are best served at a temperature which is cool without being so cold as to shock the palate.
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Old 04-18-14, 04:22 PM   #25
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^ sounds like you need to visit a real tavern where beer is respected.

they're all over the place here in seattle.

but i hear ya. i grew up in oklahoma where watered 3.2 beer is often served nearly frozen.
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