Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1
    Senior Member fettsvenska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    1977/8 Raleigh Competition 1983 Miyata 1200 1976 Motobecane Grand Jubile 197? Bottechia Pro 1974 Raleigh Folder 198? Shogun 1000 198? Miele
    Posts
    226
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    My wife kick me out of bed

    I ate too much pizza for dinner and now I'm farting a lot so I got kick to the sofa.

    I can't say that I totally blame my wife. These farts are so hot and nasty that I think that my own face is starting to melt off. I might be Freddy Kreuger by the morning. I downed some Pepto about 30 min ago and my GI tract is still percolating like a coffee pot.

    So if Freddy Kreuger shows up in your dreams and asks you to pull his finger, you better hope that you have a friend who can wake you from that nightmare. Otherwise, a horrific death is imminent.

  2. #2
    Senior Member trackhub's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    In a state of 5th Dimension, where size has no meaning.
    My Bikes
    Gunnar Street Dog
    Posts
    1,903
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I hear this a lot from married dudes, and for far less offenses than the one you describe.
    "The People will believe what the Media tells them they believe". George Orwell.

  3. #3
    Pentapointed Member ahsposo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    On Some Far Away Beach After the Season is Over...
    My Bikes
    A Home Built All Rounder, Bianchi 928, Specialized Langster, Dahon Folder
    Posts
    6,374
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Thanks for sharing...
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    If I gotta look up words, it's not worth my time.

  4. #4
    Too Much Crazy C Law's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    NY
    My Bikes
    Ventana El Comandante, Lynskey ridgeline, EWR OWB, GF HKEK, Gunnar Roadie, Spesh E5 S Works, Quintana Roo Kilo, Intense BMX Cruiser
    Posts
    3,323
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    This isn't a scratch n sniff thread?

  5. #5
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SW Ontario
    My Bikes
    2005 Trek 6700 disc 2007 Orbea Onix 2009 Raleigh One Way
    Posts
    585
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Isn't it supposed to be "... for better, or worse ..." and "... in good times, and in bad ..."?

  6. #6
    Senior Member jdon's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,157
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Alfster View Post
    Isn't it supposed to be "... for better, or worse ..." and "... in good times, and in bad ..."?
    Maybe that was WAS the better!
    Quote Originally Posted by maddmaxx View Post
    How are you ever going to live in the real world if you can't get along with people who don't believe what your do?

  7. #7
    aka Phil Jungels Wanderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    North Aurora, IL
    My Bikes
    Road & Hybrid
    Posts
    5,467
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You should have pulled the blankets over her head, and held them down, at the very first sign.

    You would both have been laughing so hard, it would never be brought up again.................

    Of course, "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander..................."

    "Retirement is the best job I ever had!" Me, 2009


    Specialized Crosstrail Sport - '08
    Nishiki Sport - misappropriated from my youngest son (circa 1984)
    Marin Stinson - misappropriated by my youngest grandson - '01
    "The Beast" - 1990 Schwinn Airdyne (in the basement for winter torture)

  8. #8
    Senior Member Zedoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Boodling the Mitten
    Posts
    130
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Your guests can thank your wife for the smell in the sofa. They sit down, OMG, kthxbai.

  9. #9
    Senior Member toytech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    san leandro
    My Bikes
    enough bikes to qualify for Hoarders......
    Posts
    1,439
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Your not really married until SHE starts farting in bed.
    I second the "dutch oven" although you will probably only get away with it once...
    "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."--Harry S. Truman

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Irving, TX
    My Bikes
    Schwinn Paramount
    Posts
    346
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I have a sofa in my "man cave" (spare bedroom) so I'm in good shape there.

  11. #11
    Administrator CbadRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    On the bridge with Picard
    My Bikes
    Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
    Posts
    5,737
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I see a birthday gift in your future.
    Quote Originally Posted by toddles View Post
    So Tom only hires people that are nutty? Is part of the requirement to be a moderator on this site is that you have to be nuts??
    Forum Guidelines *click here*

  12. #12
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,083
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    fettsvenska translates to "Dude, what the hell did you eat?, Seriously, did you eat a dead skunk? Get the hell out of our bed! NOW!" or something like that.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Will G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Granbury, Texas
    Posts
    703
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Whether verbally or aromatically, there is a time for sharing and a time for keeping to ones self. I think mankind would have been better served with the latter in place of the former in both categories.
    Flying a jet is no different than riding a bicycle. It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

  14. #14
    covered in cat fur katsrevenge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Willkes-Barre, PA
    My Bikes
    '85 Schwinn World Tourist, 2014 Windsor Kensington 8
    Posts
    376
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by toytech View Post
    Your not really married until SHE starts farting in bed.
    I second the "dutch oven" although you will probably only get away with it once...
    Or engaged. Let's just say I eat a lot of veggies....

    It's true love when you have fart competitions.
    Just one of those dirty pinko commies some people worry about.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •