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Old 05-23-14, 07:17 PM   #1
Tom Stormcrowe
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I Sold Candide

I sold Candide. I have cash in hand now and she's a closed chapter in my life. They say the second happiest day of boat ownership is when you sell her, but I disagree. I wasn't ready to stop sailing, mentally, but just can't do it physically anymore. I found today to be extremely depressing, actually.

The only good thing is that now I don't have to run out and check the boat after a thunderstorm in case the cockpit flooded and the trailer tipped up. I also don't have to look out and see her, taunting me with "I'm here but you can't sail me anymore".

My life may look Hemingwayesque, but I'm a pretty normal guy. I put my pants on one leg at a time, too. Mainly, I just chafe at limits, especially limits beyond my control, and scheme on ways to get around them. Unfortunaltely, sailing offshore now would be suicidal, because the limits on the ocean are hard limits, not to be schemed to get around, and a mistake can kill you as well as the other people on the boat that you're responsible for, so this one couldn't be pushed.........................yet.

If I do any offshore stuff now, I'm gonna have to be a trawler guy instead of a canvasback. Sucks, too, because power boats arent as much fun of challenge. It all boils down to becoming a mathematical equation of fuel range vs distance you want to travel and can you replenish fuel stocks along the way? Under sail, the range is global and powered by the wind. Power is Physics and sail is romance, and I just lost a big chunk of freedom and romance in my life and I'm PISSED!
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Old 05-23-14, 07:32 PM   #2
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I wish I had words that could help but u r in my thoughts and prayers
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Old 05-23-14, 07:53 PM   #3
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I'm sorry, Tom.

The only thing I can think of is maybe use the money to take your wife on a hired sailboat cruise where someone else does the hard labor? You can kick back while other people do the work.
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Old 05-23-14, 08:35 PM   #4
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It's not so bad. I spent a decade doing a lot of sailing. But I have spent around a decade since not out on a sail boat once. I missed a lot, and still do especially as going to and from work involves getting on a ferry that docks among a major number of yachts and having boats in weekly summer twilight races sail by.

My only advice would be to see if you can hook up with someone willing to take you out occasionally (or more often) on a decent-sized boat. If you know a bit about trimming a main sheet, that's not particularly onerous, and if you ensure the owner understands that you are a fair-weather sailor (and I mean that in a nice way), you can get your sailing fix without all the responsibilities. If you have any sense of navigation, you don't even have to do much other than take bearings and set courses.

Heck, there are people who sail the Sydney-Hobart race -- one of the toughest off-shore races in the world -- and who are very physically handicapped. You might get a kick out of this one: I heard a radio interview the other day about a blind crew member, who was described as being the best man to have on board at night. Figures!
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Old 05-23-14, 09:00 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
I sold Candide. I have cash in hand now and she's a closed chapter in my life. They say the second happiest day of boat ownership is when you sell her, but I disagree. I wasn't ready to stop sailing, mentally, but just can't do it physically anymore. I found today to be extremely depressing, actually.

The only good thing is that now I don't have to run out and check the boat after a thunderstorm in case the cockpit flooded and the trailer tipped up. I also don't have to look out and see her, taunting me with "I'm here but you can't sail me anymore".

My life may look Hemingwayesque, but I'm a pretty normal guy. I put my pants on one leg at a time, too. Mainly, I just chafe at limits, especially limits beyond my control, and scheme on ways to get around them. Unfortunaltely, sailing offshore now would be suicidal, because the limits on the ocean are hard limits, not to be schemed to get around, and a mistake can kill you as well as the other people on the boat that you're responsible for, so this one couldn't be pushed.........................yet.

If I do any offshore stuff now, I'm gonna have to be a trawler guy instead of a canvasback. Sucks, too, because power boats arent as much fun of challenge. It all boils down to becoming a mathematical equation of fuel range vs distance you want to travel and can you replenish fuel stocks along the way? Under sail, the range is global and powered by the wind. Power is Physics and sail is romance, and I just lost a big chunk of freedom and romance in my life and I'm PISSED!
Sorry for your loss... and great statement at the end. (in bold)
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Old 05-23-14, 09:08 PM   #6
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It's not so bad. I spent a decade doing a lot of sailing. But I have spent around a decade since not out on a sail boat once. I missed a lot, and still do especially as going to and from work involves getting on a ferry that docks among a major number of yachts and having boats in weekly summer twilight races sail by.

My only advice would be to see if you can hook up with someone willing to take you out occasionally (or more often) on a decent-sized boat. If you know a bit about trimming a main sheet, that's not particularly onerous, and if you ensure the owner understands that you are a fair-weather sailor (and I mean that in a nice way), you can get your sailing fix without all the responsibilities.
...this ^^^^. Of all the sailboats with which I've been associated, my brother in law's sailboat is the absolute best one.
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Old 05-23-14, 09:14 PM   #7
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Jay Benford full displacement carvel planked design - "Strumpet" and fiberglass covered marine plywood "Ladybug".

Both 30 something feet LOA

The guy has smaller Tug hull designs too.
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File Type: jpg Ladybug.jpg (30.3 KB, 5 views)

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Old 05-24-14, 06:29 AM   #8
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Sailing has been a part of my life since childhood, Rowan, racing inland scows, catamarans and Lightnings and skippering my own boats since I was 10. I cruised the Great Lakes for decades, as well. Candide, while small, was an ocean capable boat I could cross the Atlantic with if I chose to, and my Great Lakes experience had a lot of crossover to blue water sailing, since Lake Michigan and Lake Superior are essentially inland freshwater seas. As to trimming a sheet, steering a course, or even stellar navigation with a sextant, well, I think I can manage those every so often, still. It's just not the same as skippering your own boat. It's like kissing your sister. I know you mean well, but what can I say?.............

The issue is that I can't do it solo anymore, and don't have the physical strength to get back in the boat if weashed out, and don't have the physical strength to rig the boat, and from what my Neuro folk are saynig, I've giotten about 95% of the recovery I will ever get and simply will not ever recover enough for solo oceanic sailing, and can't get strong enough to be a safe skipper for sailing with my wife.

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It's not so bad. I spent a decade doing a lot of sailing. But I have spent around a decade since not out on a sail boat once. I missed a lot, and still do especially as going to and from work involves getting on a ferry that docks among a major number of yachts and having boats in weekly summer twilight races sail by.

My only advice would be to see if you can hook up with someone willing to take you out occasionally (or more often) on a decent-sized boat. If you know a bit about trimming a main sheet, that's not particularly onerous, and if you ensure the owner understands that you are a fair-weather sailor (and I mean that in a nice way), you can get your sailing fix without all the responsibilities. If you have any sense of navigation, you don't even have to do much other than take bearings and set courses.

Heck, there are people who sail the Sydney-Hobart race -- one of the toughest off-shore races in the world -- and who are very physically handicapped. You might get a kick out of this one: I heard a radio interview the other day about a blind crew member, who was described as being the best man to have on board at night. Figures!
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Old 05-24-14, 08:48 AM   #9
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Old 05-24-14, 09:06 AM   #10
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Tom, Something you may want to look into is some dual Glider experience. Last I checked, the US has no medical requirements for soaring and every aspect of sailing is duplicated in a glider. Even if you can never solo, the freedom gliding provides will more than replace that yearning to sail. Just a thought..
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Old 05-24-14, 09:13 AM   #11
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I'm sorry to read this. It was hard for me to give up my motorcycle too when it just wasn't fun anymore, but I knew that if I kept riding as I was loosing my edge I was going to be pushing some similar limits and didn't want to face the consequences.
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Old 05-24-14, 09:56 AM   #12
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Sailing has been a part of my life since childhood, Rowan, racing inland scows, catamarans and Lightnings and skippering my own boats since I was 10. I cruised the Great Lakes for decades, as well. Candide, while small, was an ocean capable boat I could cross the Atlantic with if I chose to, and my Great Lakes experience had a lot of crossover to blue water sailing, since Lake Michigan and Lake Superior are essentially inland freshwater seas. As to trimming a sheet, steering a course, or even stellar navigation with a sextant, well, I think I can manage those every so often, still. It's just not the same as skippering your own boat. It's like kissing your sister. I know you mean well, but what can I say?.............

The issue is that I can't do it solo anymore, and don't have the physical strength to get back in the boat if weashed out, and don't have the physical strength to rig the boat, and from what my Neuro folk are saynig, I've giotten about 95% of the recovery I will ever get and simply will not ever recover enough for solo oceanic sailing, and can't get strong enough to be a safe skipper for sailing with my wife.
....everyone (and I mean everyone) who gets slammed (and I mean really slammed) by life usually reaches this point in their recovery.

The successful ones (and by this I mean you) don't stay here very long, and focus all that time and energy that was once devoted to
something in life that is past tense to the things in life that are present (and possibly future) tense.


If this sounds unsympathetic, it is not. I have lost some things along the way.

I can honestly say at this point that while thankful for them, I do not miss them. (usually )


And you owe it to yourself to allow for the possibility that your neuro people are, on occasion, wrong. (At least by a certain percentage.)
Don't beat yourself up over this, just keep marching in a forward direction......you know this, which is why you sold your boat.
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Old 05-24-14, 11:39 AM   #13
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Tom - close one door, open another. I suspect you will find some new interest to pursue to fill the void, and is in sync with your current point in the journey.

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Old 05-24-14, 04:00 PM   #14
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The Great Lakes can be some bad a**ed waters.....so I've heard.

I wouldn't mind having a little "stink pot" to motor up and down the inside passage over here in the north-west coast. Things didn't turn out that way for me but it would certainly be a retirement life.

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Old 05-24-14, 05:52 PM   #15
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The Great Lakes can be some bad a**ed waters.....so I've heard.

I wouldn't mind having a little "stink pot" to motor up and down the inside passage over here in the north-west coast. Things didn't turn out that way for me but it would certainly be a retirement life.
Lake Michigan get a

mile fetch if a storm blows in from the NW and that's where most come from. The waves get big, and have a very steep face. A 10' storm wave on Lake Michigan packs the energy punch to the hull of a 30' Atlantic storm wave. Superior is worse, with a potential 700 mile fetch and cold, dense fresh water. There are more shipwrecks along Michigan's shoreline of both Lakes than are along the Atlantic, Caribbean and Pacific coasts of North America. Lotta sailors have died in Great Lake storms.

I weathered one getting blown from Michigan City up to Saugatuck in a 17' Lightning (Open V hull Planing Sailing Dinghy), wit my then yer old brother as sole crew. That was a 107 mile open water in storm crossing in 10'+ waves and 50 knot winds. We got caught only 2 miles off shore by a strorm cell that popped up right oin the coast, moving north and didn't have sufficient warning lead time to get in to the beach.
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Old 05-24-14, 06:19 PM   #16
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Sorry to hear Tom. I know how hard it can be. I sold my sailboat a few years ago. At least in my case I was ready but who is ever really ready to sell their sailboat and move on? I miss it sometimes but sure don't miss all the work!

What about OPB (other people's boats)? I had a couple of friend's with a really nice tri. Sadly he died a couple of years ago and the boat is just to much work for his wife so she will be selling.

I know it was a sad thing to sell but you are alive and well and are still able to peruse different interests with your wonderful wife. Life is just too short to dwell over the things you can't control. While my life is far from perfect, I try focus on the all of the blessings in my life.
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Old 05-24-14, 09:36 PM   #17
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Lake Michigan get a

mile fetch if a storm blows in from the NW and that's where most come from. The waves get big, and have a very steep face. A 10' storm wave on Lake Michigan packs the energy punch to the hull of a 30' Atlantic storm wave. Superior is worse, with a potential 700 mile fetch and cold, dense fresh water. There are more shipwrecks along Michigan's shoreline of both Lakes than are along the Atlantic, Caribbean and Pacific coasts of North America. Lotta sailors have died in Great Lake storms.

I weathered one getting blown from Michigan City up to Saugatuck in a 17' Lightning (Open V hull Planing Sailing Dinghy), wit my then yer old brother as sole crew. That was a 107 mile open water in storm crossing in 10'+ waves and 50 knot winds. We got caught only 2 miles off shore by a strorm cell that popped up right oin the coast, moving north and didn't have sufficient warning lead time to get in to the beach.
Yeah a guy in my boxing forum lives off of Lake Michigan. He told me that low powered displacement boats weren't the thing to be taking on those steep waves with when the weather hit. He said you could broach just heading straight into those unless you had a planing hull with a lot of power. I've heard other guys talk about those nasty short waves up there too......No thanks for me. I get sick just rolling in the trough of waves off the coast of San Diego in beautiful weather trying to fish after a night of drinking .....which is why I never got around to getting a boat.
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Old 05-25-14, 12:31 AM   #18
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Yeah a guy in my boxing forum lives off of Lake Michigan. He told me that low powered displacement boats weren't the thing to be taking on those steep waves with when the weather hit. He said you could broach just heading straight into those unless you had a planing hull with a lot of power. I've heard other guys talk about those nasty short waves up there too......No thanks for me. I get sick just rolling in the trough of waves off the coast of San Diego in beautiful weather trying to fish after a night of drinking .....which is why I never got around to getting a boat.
I had to just go with the storm with only the jib up and taking the waves stern on, surfing them, using a sea anchor to help me keep control of the boat. The sea anchor was both my sail bags streamed out behind me on a long anchor line acting like a parachute. I steered and managed the jib and my brother bailed. We made it to Saugatuck before the squall let us go and died out. You should have heard the parents when we called from the Saugatuck Coast Guard station.

When I arrived, I checked in with "Youmay have a missing mariner report on our boat from Michigan City......". They did, and were happy to treat us to lunch while we waiting for Dad to get there with the boat trailer. One thing my Dad really did teach me was sailing. That was our ONLY point of communication as father/son for a long rtime....the only thing we had in common.
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Old 05-25-14, 12:51 AM   #19
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Morning Tom,sorry for your loss.

Do you have a picture of Candide please.
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Old 05-25-14, 01:00 AM   #20
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On the trailer



And an older one in the water up on the Great Lakes.


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Old 05-25-14, 01:06 AM   #21
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I had to just go with the storm with only the jib up and taking the waves stern on, surfing them, using a sea anchor to help me keep control of the boat. The sea anchor was both my sail bags streamed out behind me on a long anchor line acting like a parachute. I steered and managed the jib and my brother bailed. We made it to Saugatuck before the squall let us go and died out. You should have heard the parents when we called from the Saugatuck Coast Guard station.

When I arrived, I checked in with "Youmay have a missing mariner report on our boat from Michigan City......". They did, and were happy to treat us to lunch while we waiting for Dad to get there with the boat trailer. One thing my Dad really did teach me was sailing. That was our ONLY point of communication as father/son for a long rtime....the only thing we had in common.
Jeezus that sounds frightening running with waves like that.

You would have to be good.
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Old 05-25-14, 02:04 AM   #22
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I'm sorry you can't sail, but I'm sure you'll find another pursuit that gets your blood up.
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Old 05-25-14, 04:56 AM   #23
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Jeezus that sounds frightening running with waves like that.

You would have to be good.
Good and lucky, and terrified. I was too busy to be scared in the classic sense and had to appear fearless for my brother so he wouldn't panic, but had the shakes for a few days after.....not kidding.
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