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Old 04-04-05, 01:28 AM   #1
HaagenDas
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The short queue

I realise I'm at a vunerable point in my life. I hate my job and I loathe the customers. I guess that means I notice each incident of gross stupidity.

Just went to the supermarket to buy one packet of rice for shogun to cook with our evening meal. There must have been 30 people in the 12 and less queue. Some clearly were beating the system and had 20 odd items. So I walked over to the queue with one lady pushing through a trolley load. I'd got served and out before the fast queue had moved a solitary customer through.

Here's the kicker, these dumb ****s with their totally vacant looks - reminiscent of a kangaroo caught in the car's headlights; could see that it would have been faster to jump to the other queue but didn't flinch.

I guess they're still waiting for their next dose of sheep drench.
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Old 04-04-05, 02:01 AM   #2
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slightly irritated at the moment eh Haagen?

I notice it sometimes too. 3 registers(thats what queue means right?) open and yet everyone goes to the "express lane" while the guys at the other registers are twiddling their thumbs.

People need to think a little sometimes.
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Old 04-04-05, 02:02 AM   #3
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I've always wondered how to say the word 'queue'.

I always say "Q-U-E", but I don't think that's right.
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Old 04-04-05, 02:07 AM   #4
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"Cue".
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Old 04-04-05, 02:28 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by forum*rider
slightly irritated at the moment eh Haagen?

I notice it sometimes too. 3 registers(thats what queue means right?) open and yet everyone goes to the "express lane" while the guys at the other registers are twiddling their thumbs.

People need to think a little sometimes.
"Slightly" would be the understatement of the year. Yeah registers but the queue was massive and the dumb ****s just standing there blinking reminded me so much of sheep waiting for the ole whammo to the head.

Yeah, I've had a gut full. I suppose any job dealing with the public has major drawbacks. IT as Dr Morbious would know is just a sea of morons. Today I had someone call and tear strips off me because they couldn't turn their computer on. Remember, we deal in dial up, ISDN, ADSL and web hosting. Another one went through the roof because she had a virus. As it turned out, she was convinced it was all my fault and that I had to fix her computer up. Another mindless pratt wanted to know how to reinstall the drivers for her CPU - I almost asked her if she'd swallowed a technicians dictionary. Plus of course my favourite, the screaming customer who's opening line is "what have you stupid bastards done to my email this time". Needless to say, she wasn't even one of our customers. Multiply that by about 20 and that's my average day.

koooombaiiiyaaaah Haagen relax

I've been trying to get another job but it's not easy in a place like Armidildo.

I'm going out to a winery next Friday arvo and I'm going to demand a job.

koooombaiiiyaaaah Haags

Rant over - sorry.
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Old 04-04-05, 04:23 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by HaagenDas
"Slightly" would be the understatement of the year. Yeah registers but the queue was massive and the dumb ****s just standing there blinking reminded me so much of sheep waiting for the ole whammo to the head.

Yeah, I've had a gut full. I suppose any job dealing with the public has major drawbacks. IT as Dr Morbious would know is just a sea of morons. Today I had someone call and tear strips off me because they couldn't turn their computer on. Remember, we deal in dial up, ISDN, ADSL and web hosting. Another one went through the roof because she had a virus. As it turned out, she was convinced it was all my fault and that I had to fix her computer up. Another mindless pratt wanted to know how to reinstall the drivers for her CPU - I almost asked her if she'd swallowed a technicians dictionary. Plus of course my favourite, the screaming customer who's opening line is "what have you stupid bastards done to my email this time". Needless to say, she wasn't even one of our customers. Multiply that by about 20 and that's my average day.

koooombaiiiyaaaah Haagen relax

I've been trying to get another job but it's not easy in a place like Armidildo.

I'm going out to a winery next Friday arvo and I'm going to demand a job.

koooombaiiiyaaaah Haags

Rant over - sorry.
Gawd Haagen, You've just had a holiday in hell to have ya knees replaced. What are ya b!tchin' about. Waited on hand and foot. Three square meals a day. Insight on life you've never seen before. If that hasn't softened your view on the lives of others, nothing will!
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Old 04-04-05, 04:40 AM   #7
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Rowan, does that mean I'm doomed or is there still a slim chance I can be saved?
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Old 04-04-05, 05:30 AM   #8
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I wish, I'm still struggiling to buy film for mine. What good are they if you can't get the film in huh.
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Old 04-04-05, 05:33 AM   #9
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Rowan, does that mean I'm doomed or is there still a slim chance I can be saved?
Doomed, mate. Doomed...

... to a life of cycle-touring that will start with your own area, then expand wider and wider to the rest of the world.

It won't happen instantly, but it will happen. Your horizons will lift beyond the minutae of the unwashed (well, maybe you'll be the unwashed but for different reasons if you're a cycle-tourist).

You will take on the personna of the all-knowing. Looking upon the obese and lazy and ambitious and awful and unconnected... and let it all wash over you.

Because you will know... you will know... how hopeless their lives are.
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Old 04-04-05, 06:24 AM   #10
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HaagenDas......How do you get your posts to fit so exquisitely with your avatar?.....Is it really you?.....
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Old 04-04-05, 07:04 AM   #11
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HaagenDas......How do you get your posts to fit so exquisitely with your avatar?.....Is it really you?.....
And I really hate people like you, norton, because I have to go and switch back on the avatar option only to find bloody Sir Les... which was the reason why I turned off avatars in the first place!! (along with Raiyn's futile attempt to justify some ice hockey team as being the best in somewhere in the world).

<grumbles and snorts loudly as the turn-back-on option for no-show avatars is... turned back on>
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Old 04-04-05, 08:49 AM   #12
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And I really hate people like you, norton, because I have to go and switch back on the avatar option only to find bloody Sir Les... which was the reason why I turned off avatars in the first place!! (along with Raiyn's futile attempt to justify some ice hockey team as being the best in somewhere in the world).

<grumbles and snorts loudly as the turn-back-on option for no-show avatars is... turned back on>

.....Ain't Life Grand!....
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Old 04-04-05, 03:21 PM   #13
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The avturd is not really me, it is of course Sir Les Patterson, Australian Cultural Attache to London. We seem to share a common bond. You'll see the real me on my web site

Rowan, I fear you might be onto something. I'm doing these little road trips around town. I have plans to go further afield but I can see a book coming out. "Great bicycle tours of Australian Vineyards - by Haagen Das" and then "Great bicycle tours of French Vineyards - by Haagen Das" and "Great bicycle tours of ...... It's dangerous I can tell you.
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Old 04-04-05, 04:51 PM   #14
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The avturd is not really me, it is of course Sir Les Patterson, Australian Cultural Attache to London. We seem to share a common bond. You'll see the real me on my web site
I allways thought it was Mike Meyers in one of the Austin Power movies.
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Old 04-04-05, 05:19 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaagenDas
Just went to the supermarket to buy one packet of rice for shogun to cook with our evening meal. There must have been 30 people in the 12 and less queue. Some clearly were beating the system and had 20 odd items. So I walked over to the queue with one lady pushing through a trolley load. I'd got served and out before the fast queue had moved a solitary customer through.

Here's the kicker, these dumb ****s with their totally vacant looks - reminiscent of a kangaroo caught in the car's headlights; could see that it would have been faster to jump to the other queue but didn't flinch.
It doesn't make a difference to me, if I try that maneuver the lady in front of me is always either counting pennies, or writing a check, or some item is on sale but not listed in the computer so they have to do a price check, and in the meantime the guy behind me in the slow moving line has paid and is out the door. So I just sit there and slowly seethe with repressed rage. Sitting in a cage in traffic is another thing that can boil my blood. good thing I have found an outlet for that rage...

No, not cycling, I'm talking about electroshock therapy. Started when I was two and stuck a fork into an electrical outlet. DDdon't know what I was so mad about then, though.
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Old 04-04-05, 07:03 PM   #16
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No self-checkout? I hate lines, and everyone always wants the folks at the register to run their purchases through, and no one's in self check out. I do it every time and get out of the store faster than being the "express" line, which isn't so express when 12 people have 12 things to check out each vs. zero people in self check out and me having 12 food items to scan, run my credit card and walk out of the store.

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Old 04-04-05, 07:30 PM   #17
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Occasionally I do the self checkout thing.

More often than not, there is a mother letting her small children insert the card and presing ok etc. Takes them all of 5 minutes to buy a box of frozen juice concentrate.

(nothing against mothers with small children. Just saying they are slow)
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Old 04-04-05, 07:44 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaagenDas
Rowan, I fear you might be onto something. I'm doing these little road trips around town. I have plans to go further afield but I can see a book coming out. "Great bicycle tours of Australian Vineyards - by Haagen Das" and then "Great bicycle tours of French Vineyards - by Haagen Das" and "Great bicycle tours of ...... It's dangerous I can tell you.
I'd be interested in reading those travel accounts as I just completed Bill Bryson's "In a Sunburned Country".
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Old 04-04-05, 07:47 PM   #19
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Self checkout isn't generally available in Australia. We're still trying to keep the kangaroos from kicking us down and stealing the tim-tams and vegemite.
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Old 04-05-05, 11:09 AM   #20
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Haagen

I don't know about a job, but write down a bunch more of those customer interactions and write a book. As long as you are reading about them and not living them they are funny.

Joe
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Old 04-05-05, 11:10 AM   #21
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Koffee

I saw one of those self checkouts the other day (I or where I live may be slow). I assume you have to use a debt or credit card. Carrying one is ok using it isn't.

Joe
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Old 04-05-05, 11:13 AM   #22
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Nope. You can use whatever to pay. Cash, debit card, or credit card. You just can't write a check. You can even scan in coupons and use your coupons. It's good stuff.

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Old 04-05-05, 04:05 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MERTON
take a cattle prod with you next time.
Only work on my customers Kangaroos are smarter and get out of the road in time

PS, I put up a daily cross section of customer enquiries etc., on my web site.
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Old 04-05-05, 06:33 PM   #24
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I want a supermercado that has a line that reads

MEN WITH CASH ONLY
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Old 04-05-05, 08:56 PM   #25
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At my grocery store we have a different problem. There are like 15 registers, but regardless of how lmany people there are, they refuse to open more than 4 of them.

I used to work there as a bagboy, worst job ever. I know that they had enough people to run more registers, but Giant was so clueless that they wouldn't open more than 4.
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