Originally Posted by WizardOfBoz

Kevin, you are ignoring two facts. The first fact is that two can play at that game. The second is mathematical. 20 goes into 60 a lot better than 60 goes into 20.

(Sorry - old joke...)

Originally Posted by habilis

Kevin may have been thinking of a buxom 60-year-old. Lots of good-looking, fitness-conscious seniors out there, but I'm a confirmed monogamist.

Originally Posted by kingston

I bought a 20 year old santana tandem that was in nice shape last summer to try to get my wife interested in cycling. I figured if it didn't work out I could re-sell it and not be out too much money (of course I ended up getting new handlebars, saddles, thudbuster, pedals, tires, racks, bags etc.)

She likes it best if we have some kind of destination in mind to do something for a little while, then ride home. Could be anything, farmers market, art fair, botanic garden, could be just lunch someplace. The rides are never long, 20-30 miles tops, and we did that 10 or 12 times over the course of the summer. It's a small fraction of my total miles, but I thought it was a big success. Maybe we'll do more next summer, maybe less, no pressure, I just want to keep it fun for her. She also hates riding in traffic so I'm sure to choose routes with little traffic and a lot of bike paths.

Originally Posted by Fastfingaz

Don't suffocate that woman, let her enjoy her sport without your guilt trip,,,

Originally Posted by fietsbob

there was the Counterpoint tandems ... the stoker had the best seat , up front, recumbent ,

the handlebars were right behind the front seat the rear position regular bike like ..

there was the advantage of being to talk to each other while riding..

Originally Posted by habilis

We are retired and in our late sixties. I've read this advice from a woman: Riding With Your Wife | CyclingTips . The advice is great, but I'd like to hear from more people on this subject.

We are both reasonably fit and active. She plays tennis every week. I don't like tennis and probably couldn't learn to like it much (her doubles partners would never put up with me). Now flip this around and substitute "biking" for "tennis," and you have our situation. I am interested in all things bicycle-related, but I'm only a casual cyclist: 20-40 miles once a week, on roads (road bike or fixie) and easy trails (mtb). She could easily live without biking.

She still rides the Dunelt 3-speed step-through frame her parents gave her when she was 17. With her permission, I have modified it to make it lighter and more comfortable by swapping out steel components for alloy ones. It now has 3-speed Shimano IGH, alloy rims and handlebars (upright touring style), and a Brooks B-17 women's saddle. Wheels are 700c with 1-3/8 tires. The weight is down to 25lbs from 28lbs. I will be replacing the cottered steel crank with cotterless alloy in the near future, which should save another pound.

I would gladly go $1,000+ on a new bike for her, but she wouldn't hear of it. She loves the Dunelt, mostly because of the sentimental value and the candy-apple red paint. I've tried to address all of her preferences of seat height, hand position, gearing, etc. Her ideal biking scenario is riding on the seaside boardwalk on a warm, sunny day with the Dunelt in its original 28lb glory and 26" whitewalls. In that configuration, the bike was unsuitable on even moderate hills, and she has no interest in improving her endurance. Since we live 50 miles from the ocean, and the weather isn't always warm and sunny, her ideal conditions for biking are hard to achieve. (Winter cycling? You must be kidding.)

So now, with the revised bike, I can coax her out once in a while, but she is clearly not enthusiastic, even on easy rides of 5-10 miles on moderate terrain. On longer rides, her favorite part, aside from the lunch stop, is returning to the car. She is willing to ride in LIGHT traffic but is very uncomfortable with it. Yet, she refuses to use a mirror, which I'm sure would boost her confidence. We sometimes ride on a local MUP (10 mile round trip through woods, very pleasant scenery), which she prefers to street riding but doesn't enjoy a whole lot.

When we ride together, we are the slowest things on the road when starting out, which is okay with me - I'm just happy she's out there with me. She speeds up dramatically on the return leg.

Here's the paradox: If she rode more, she would gain skill and stamina and like it more, but she doesn't ride enough to achieve those improvements.

Does anyone have suggestions, or is this as good as it gets? Thanks for your patience reading this.

Originally Posted by bakes1

Hrmmm...
Does your wife like to cook and try to force you to cook by saying the better you get at it the more you will like it?
Shopping? Is she continually bothering you to shop using the same terrible logic?
Yoga? Knitting?
Ridiculous thread.
You cannot be taught how to understand basic human nature by strangers on the internet.
If you could be, you wouldn't have asked in the first place imo.

Originally Posted by SlinkyWizard

This seems a little harsh, I don't think it's a ridiculous thread.

Originally Posted by bakes1

Hrmmm...
Does your wife like to cook and try to force you to cook by saying the better you get at it the more you will like it?
Shopping? Is she continually bothering you to shop using the same terrible logic?
Yoga? Knitting?
Ridiculous thread.
You cannot be taught how to understand basic human nature by strangers on the internet.
If you could be, you wouldn't have asked in the first place imo.

Originally Posted by mark2810

What we need here is a marriage counselor who is ALSO AN AVID CYCLIST. I got my girlfriend a 47cm Cannondale Synapse and she considers it her baby even though we don't go biking much. She appreciates it and she climbs hills like a goat. I don't know how she does it with those little legs.
You can always bike laps chasing tennis balls while she plays! I suggest you let it be man. You guys are 60. Find something else that you guys both like and can share.
Look at it this way, would you be really be happy playing tennis just because your wife asks you to? No. You can't expect your wife to do the same! Not to mention riding a bike out in traffic is a little more dangerous then playing tennis. Let the bike thing be YOUR thing. A guy has got to have his OWN thing whether it's poker night or hunting or whatever. She has her own tennis thing going on and she sure ain't worrying about you! hehe

Originally Posted by habilis

Interesting perspective! Here are some things you should know:

1. Many of the responses were insightful and helpful. Because I can remain anonymous, I feel less restricted about airing a personal problem. I'm a fairly private person. I don't think I could sit across from an "expert" marriage counsellor and speak as freely as I do here. Also, I don't think my problem is so awful that it warrants professional attention.

2. I've cooked dinner every night for many years. I also did the food shopping for a few years, but I put speed and efficiency (getting it over with) above variety. Our menus became very predictable, so she fired me. I still cook, though. I also do daily kitchen clean-up.

3. I sometimes accompany her when she shops for clothes. I survive by bringing a book.

4. You use the word "force." I've tried to be clear that I haven't and will not force anyone to do anything.

You seem to have very stereotyped ideas about male/female roles and behavior, as well as a tendency to make assumptions. No harm done, though: I respect and appreciate your input as much as anyone else's. I just don't agree that I can't learn about human nature from this forum because I already have. (I've even learned a thing or two about you!)

Originally Posted by bakes1

IMO and based upon your OP, you haven't learned a thing about cycling, women or human nature. I used stereotypical interests to make a point only so please spare me with more of your drama lol. Because your OP is all self pity drama btw.

1) "She could easily live without biking"
2) "she has no interest in improving her endurance"
3) "she is clearly not enthusiastic, even on easy rides"

It is quite obvious based upon your own words that your wife has other hobbies/interests and has no desire to be an avid cyclist.
Yet you choose to ignore that and instead ask internet strangers for advice.
The issue is not with your wife. It is with your lack of acceptance.
That and the fact that you only ride once a week. You can't enjoy your once weekly ride without her?
That's pretty cool that you want to be that close to her and after all those years maybe just appreciate that?

Originally Posted by habilis

I actually intend to give tennis a try when the weather improves. This is NOT to put leverage on my wife about biking. Her reaction showed me that she would like it very much if I tried tennis. That's the only reason I'm doing it. However, if she decides ON HER OWN that she'd like to bike a little more, that's okay too!

Originally Posted by ColaJacket

So you need to ask her what material of tennis racket is the best? CF, Aluminum, Steel, Wood? And ask her to explain the pro's and con's of each material.

GH

Originally Posted by kevindsingleton

Go find a buxom beauty in cycling kit, and introduce her as the team leader of your new cycling club, membership: two.

Originally Posted by habilis

This would end the problem, but not in a way I would enjoy. I'd be drawn and quartered, and the pieces would be mailed to different parts of the country.

Originally Posted by Fastfingaz

I bet if Dr. Phil Comes out and says cycling is the best thing you could do for excersice and sport theyd' all be on bikes,,,,,