Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

General Cycling Discussion Have a cycling related question or comment that doesn't fit in one of the other specialty forums? Drop on in and post in here! When possible, please select the forum above that most fits your post!

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-11-05, 03:39 PM   #1
trirmk
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
trirmk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: PA
Bikes: Quattro Assi & Trek 7000
Posts: 122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Cyclist Lingo Translator

Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around. They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:

"I'm out of shape"
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.

"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.

"I'm on my beater bike"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using Titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.

"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

"You're doing great, honey"
Translation: Yo, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.

"This is a no-drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.

"It's not that far"
Translation: Bring your passport.
trirmk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-05, 08:05 PM   #2
Marylandnewbie
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Bikes: Fuji Supreme
Posts: 1,701
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is excellent!!

Marylandnewbie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-05, 08:10 PM   #3
tulip
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Out there, on my bike
Bikes:
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So true!
tulip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-05, 09:43 PM   #4
lilHinault
.
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: .
Bikes: .
Posts: 3,094
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LOL funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lilHinault is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-05, 09:57 PM   #5
forum*rider
Work hard, Play hard
 
forum*rider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Bikes: Cannondale super V 500, Bianchi Piaggio(hopefully getting a new road bike when I get some money)
Posts: 2,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I admit to being guilty of the first and second one...
forum*rider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-05, 11:09 PM   #6
UmneyDurak
RacingBear
 
UmneyDurak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: NorCal
Bikes:
Posts: 8,602
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 39 Post(s)
My favorite is.
"Oh I will be going easy pace."
Translation: I will treat this ride as a TT, good luck hanging on.

I was on the receiving end of number 4. What can I say I just started to ride in these parts and didn't know any better.
UmneyDurak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-05, 11:17 PM   #7
forum*rider
Work hard, Play hard
 
forum*rider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Bikes: Cannondale super V 500, Bianchi Piaggio(hopefully getting a new road bike when I get some money)
Posts: 2,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my uncle is guilty of the "It's not that far" thing.

You know what happened last time I went on a ride with him? We were out riding and he said it would only be about 55mi, well, we get home and I'm dead tired wondering why I'm so beat.

Look at his GPS system on his bike and well, whaddya know! It was 80mi instead of 55

55mi my arse, I'm checking the route next time I go riding with him.
forum*rider is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:46 AM.