10. While drafting at the back of a paceline, you still have major aero problems.
9. Your idea of a "century" is taking 100 minutes to ride to the corner store for a box of Ho-Ho's.
8. On long charity rides you shout out, "It's my turn to 'pull' for the sag wagon!"
7. Your pup tent doubles as a race jersey.
6. You wonder why no cols in the Tour de France are named "This Bump is for Our Larger Friends".
5. Your Schwalbe Marathon Plus 40c tires get pinch flats at 120 psi.
4. You complain that your custom solid-bar aluminum frame flexes at the bottom bracket shell.
3. Your climbing wheels are Sun-Ringle "Doublewide's".
2. Your cycling friends ask you, "Is that a new zit, or just a Camelbak?"
And the #1 reason you may be too fat to be a roadie:
1. Your Brooks 90/3 triple-sprung saddle makes a loud "ka-THUMP!" when you run over a white pavement line.