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  1. #1
    acciaio is real Wurm's Avatar
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    10. While drafting at the back of a paceline, you still have major aero problems.

    9. Your idea of a "century" is taking 100 minutes to ride to the corner store for a box of Ho-Ho's.

    8. On long charity rides you shout out, "It's my turn to 'pull' for the sag wagon!"

    7. Your pup tent doubles as a race jersey.

    6. You wonder why no cols in the Tour de France are named "This Bump is for Our Larger Friends".

    5. Your Schwalbe Marathon Plus 40c tires get pinch flats at 120 psi.

    4. You complain that your custom solid-bar aluminum frame flexes at the bottom bracket shell.

    3. Your climbing wheels are Sun-Ringle "Doublewide's".

    2. Your cycling friends ask you, "Is that a new zit, or just a Camelbak?"

    And the #1 reason you may be too fat to be a roadie:

    1. Your Brooks 90/3 triple-sprung saddle makes a loud "ka-THUMP!" when you run over a white pavement line.


    Last edited by Wurm; 06-14-05 at 07:27 PM.

  2. #2
    ride like theres not 2mrw chris_pnoy's Avatar
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    hahaha... funny stuff...

  3. #3
    Meow! my58vw's Avatar
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    Yes very funny
    Just your average club rider... :)

  4. #4
    DEK
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    Senior Member DEK's Avatar
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    HEY! I resemble those remarks.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Don Cook's Avatar
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    My personal observation is that you cannot ever br too fat to be a "roadie".

  6. #6
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    Seriously whats with all the gay references and fat people jokes lately. Funny or not, I havent seen this many of that kind since I was in grade 5.

  7. #7
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    On the last charity run I did (75km), there were a lot of guys 45-55 years old with really big guts who simply blew past me. My neighbours and I averaged over 32kph for the 75 km run, so they must have averaged well over 35kph. My guess is that they are semi-retired and just train a hell-of-alot more than me.

  8. #8
    Twincities MN kuan's Avatar
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    11) The paceline is two abreast when you're in front.

  9. #9
    Toyota Racing Dev. PWRDbyTRD's Avatar
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    No...all these mean that these people aren't "snob roadies"
    Linkage...My 2004 Kona Hoss Dee-Lux My Mindless Banter
    Disclaimer: I'm 425lb...I put unnormal loads on my bike. This should help you in answering any of my questions.

  10. #10
    Huachuca Rider webist's Avatar
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    Being blessed with an abundance of adipose tissue myself, I was prepared to be richly offended. Instead I'm delightfully amused. Actually, I'm much bigger than I should be but much smaller than I once was. Good post. I enjoyed it.
    Just Peddlin' Around

  11. #11
    acciaio is real Wurm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maelstrom
    Seriously whats with all the gay references and fat people jokes lately. Funny or not, I havent seen this many of that kind since I was in grade 5.
    You're young. You'll get over it.

  12. #12
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    I got one. You have so much body fat on your chest you should race in the women's field. Believe it or not, I have raced with an overweight racer with a beer gut running a pair of Zipp 404.

  13. #13
    DEADBEEF khuon's Avatar
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    The interesting thing is that I've discovered big guys on the flats will simply blow me and most lightweight riders away. The reasoning is fairly simple. The bigger you are, the more muscle you need to support your weight. While walking or climbing, the big guy's weight can be a detriment or at least it doesn't provide an advantage... at best, it puts them on par. However, when they're riding and are on flat or rolling terrain, they have momentum on their side and that extra amount of muscle gives them greater horsepower to sustain that momentum. The calculus works out in favour of the big guy in such situations. I can drop a lot of my bigger friends on the climbs but going downhill and on the flats, I have to work to keep up with them.
    1999 K2 OzM 2001 Aegis Aro Svelte OCP Club Member
    "Be liberal in what you accept, and conservative in what you send." -- Jon Postel, RFC1122

  14. #14
    'Mizer Cats are INSANE Mentor58's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by khuon
    The interesting thing is that I've discovered big guys on the flats will simply blow me and most lightweight riders away. The reasoning is fairly simple. The bigger you are, the more muscle you need to support your weight. While walking or climbing, the big guy's weight can be a detriment or at least it doesn't provide an advantage... at best, it puts them on par. However, when they're riding and are on flat or rolling terrain, they have momentum on their side and that extra amount of muscle gives them greater horsepower to sustain that momentum. The calculus works out in favour of the big guy in such situations. I can drop a lot of my bigger friends on the climbs but going downhill and on the flats, I have to work to keep up with them.
    Isn't that also the case with Tandems? I've passed many a mature couple going up hill on their tandom, but when I see that "Bike-A-Bago" coming down the hill behind me, I better get out of the way.

    Steve W
    Gee, I'll gain 50 pounds and THEN I'll be fast! My Training Partners will be Ben and Jerry.

  15. #15
    acciaio is real Wurm's Avatar
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    Well I ain't exactly skinny at 196 lb., and I've lost 10 lbs. since April. BUT I have a perfectly good reason: I'm just big-boned.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Waxbytes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wurm
    Well I ain't exactly skinny at 196 lb., and I've lost 10 lbs. since April. BUT I have a perfectly good reason: I'm just big-boned.

    I'm big boned too, especially the one around my middle that keeps growing.
    Uhmm...

  17. #17
    Junior Member Cronjob's Avatar
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    Well I ain't exactly skinny at 196 lb., and I've lost 10 lbs. since April. BUT I have a perfectly good reason: I'm just big-boned.
    At 516lb, I guess my bones are clearly much bigger, then. *cough*

  18. #18
    acciaio is real Wurm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waxbytes
    I'm big boned too, especially the one around my middle that keeps growing.
    Yeah, the ol' spare tire. That's not really bone...more like gristle ain't it?

  19. #19
    Name's Ash ...housewares Doctor Morbius's Avatar
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    I weigh just under 250 lbs and I got a kick out of it. I especially liked the 700x40 tires getting pinch flats. Excellent!!

    It's a svelte wafer thin 250 though!
    I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind. - Ed Rooney


    It's not that I'm lazy. I'm just highly motivated to RELAX!!

  20. #20
    acciaio is real Wurm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Morbius
    ...I got a kick out of it...Excellent!!
    We aim to please!

  21. #21
    Who has a good sense of humor for going along with my little April Fool Gag (The Admin) Mr. Markets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by R600DuraAce
    I got one. You have so much body fat on your chest you should race in the women's field. Believe it or not, I have raced with an overweight racer with a beer gut running a pair of Zipp 404.
    kinda like fourty pounds of sausage in a 20 pound casing?

    hey, all I know is that if I lost a few pounds, it wouldbe like pebbles off a dump truck!

  22. #22
    CRIKEY!!!!!!! Cyclaholic's Avatar
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    Oi, I'm not fat, I'm actually at my ideal future weight.... which will be when i reach 8 feet in height

  23. #23
    Senior Member DieselDan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kuan
    11) The paceline is two abreast when you're in front.
    Tuesday, June 14, 2005.
    Bikes use brakes to stop.

    If your bike has breaks, don't ride it.

  24. #24
    Damaged not broken lrnorup's Avatar
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    Usually the bigboned guys got the best looking bicycles. Why?
    Heart or clubs? - I'll go for the clubs...

  25. #25
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lrnorup
    Usually the bigboned guys got the best looking bicycles. Why?
    Because they stole them from scrawny little climbers, along with their lunch money...
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

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