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  1. #1
    jur
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    Farting thunderously, thought I was alone

    How come whenever I reallllllyyyyyyyy feel the need to ease internal pressure, theres always someone around???

    eg, once on the way home on my commute in the dark, pressure was mounting so I stood on the pedals and let fly a broadside only to see a pedestrian recoiling. I didn't see him in the dark and there's never anyone there anyway.

    Another time, out in the middle of the countryside on a rail trail, after checking there's no other riders, I let go of some power bar pressure. Immediately a chorus of howling protests issued from some trackside bushes - there were a bunch of boys hiding out there, up to no good probably. It was just so surprising, the nearest village or even farmhouse was miles away.

  2. #2
    Canon fiend MadMan2k's Avatar
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    lol, I don't seem to have to fart when I'm on the bike very often. Standing up for a long time I do, though

  3. #3
    mac
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    They see me rollin' mac's Avatar
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    Man, when I'm on my bike, I don't give a crap. It's a little different, though, when I'm at work in my mostly silent office. Even a pffftttt sound gets everyone's attention.

  4. #4
    Canon fiend MadMan2k's Avatar
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    The only time I'm at work is when we're really busy, so that means there's probably 15 computers plus the A/C and fans in the store running... doesnt do anything about the smell though, lol

  5. #5
    Biking Belle biketownblogger's Avatar
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    heh, I think it's pretty funny that the top word for the Goodle Ads is "farting machine" at the time I happened upon this post.

  6. #6
    DEADBEEF khuon's Avatar
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    I use a slight hand-waving motion near my butt to indicate that I'm going to scoot to the side and release the blowoff valve so that anyone following in my draft has ample warning and can take some precautionary measures to keep from being the victim of a chemical attack.
    1999 K2 OzM 2001 Aegis Aro Svelte OCP Club Member
    "Be liberal in what you accept, and conservative in what you send." -- Jon Postel, RFC1122

  7. #7
    Hot in China azesty's Avatar
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    I let one go as I was passing a ped, didnt notice her until she said "nice" in a disgusted tone, and crossed against the lights I had just stopped at. As I went by I said "Sorry, didnt see you there" and continued down the hill....

    a

  8. #8
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    It's Murphy's law biting you in the butt!!
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  9. #9
    Senior Member onbike 1939's Avatar
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    All of you are disgusting-----I never fart ever.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Bugtussle's Avatar
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    Ive always said that a fine tuned engine needs a free flowing exhaust. I save mine for the hills. Coupled with the open V (stands for vortex) on the back of my Specialized seat I actually gain some thrust(ala passing gear). The magic fuel= beans with raisins for desert.

  11. #11
    Keep Right Except to Pass
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    ROFL Tears in my eyes. Why is farting so darn funny? Must be the kid in us.

    Thanks for a good larf.

  12. #12
    Permanent Amateur Mark B10Cycle's Avatar
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    I fart on the bike all the time, luckily there's never anyone around.

    Work is a different story...

    I'm alone in the backroom, organizing files all day. I haven't seen anyone in like 3 hours, so I figure it's safe to let one slide. I do, it feels great, but it starts to smell a bit as it wafts around. As this occurs, one of the lawyers pops around the corner and starts talking. 10 seconds later I can tell he's smelled it and there's no one else around to blame it on. The conversation turns awkward and he rushes off.

    Also, why is it that they NEVER need me or come looking for me unless I'm in the middle of a dump? What's the deal with that? It's most annoying.
    I may be going to hell in a bucket, babe,
    But at least I'm enjoying the ride.

    -The Grateful Dead

  13. #13
    I'm made of earth! becnal's Avatar
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    Oh.... god!.... I... Can't .,.....stop..... laughing......!!!!!!!


    Tooo.....F$@#ing....... FUNNY!!!!!

  14. #14
    .
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    That's why I wouldn't buy a used saddle. I'll mark my own territory, thank you.

  15. #15
    Kelly Drive Amateur Boogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jbonus
    That's why I wouldn't buy a used saddle. I'll mark my own territory, thank you.
    Well said!

  16. #16
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by biketownblogger
    heh, I think it's pretty funny that the top word for the Goodle Ads is "farting machine" at the time I happened upon this post.
    Right! and if you click that link the top reference is for a "Remote Controlled Fart Machine", that's where I stop searching!
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  17. #17
    Velocipedic Practitioner
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    This whole thread is bringing me to tears.
    I just laughed so hard it made me fart.
    Other forms of transportation grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart. - Iris Murdoch

  18. #18
    Banned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shifty
    Right! and if you click that link the top reference is for a "Remote Controlled Fart Machine", that's where I stop searching!
    My father in law had one of those at Christmas. I don't know why it is so funny but it was hillarious. He parked it by Grandpa and whenever it got really quiet, he would hit the button, "faaaaaaaaaaaaaaart!" Everyone would giggle. Grandpa didn't even hear it i don't think. Hours of fun for the whole family!

    In terms of cycling: One of the biggest infractions against cycling ettiquette is farting while seated. That is a no-no. Always good to elevate and blow your horn.

  19. #19
    Recumbent Ninja
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    No big deal about the farting. A few seconds and you're poast the dank brown cloud.

    But shart even just a little and that century ride is going to be VERY uncomfortable.

  20. #20
    Senior Curmudgeon FarHorizon's Avatar
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    The "one cheek sneak" is as good on the bike as it is in church...

  21. #21
    HWS
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    Fuji Shill HWS's Avatar
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    Raw spinach tears me up......and I eat a ton of it

  22. #22
    DEADBEEF khuon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HWS
    Raw spinach tears me up......and I eat a ton of it
    Yeah, I admit spinache does that to me too. Damn... now I want some Chicago stuffed spinache pizza!
    1999 K2 OzM 2001 Aegis Aro Svelte OCP Club Member
    "Be liberal in what you accept, and conservative in what you send." -- Jon Postel, RFC1122

  23. #23
    Senior Member Rob944's Avatar
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    As Dennis Miller once said: "why do 10 year old boys find farts hysterically funny?" "because farts are hysterically funny!"

  24. #24
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    I find it difficult to fart while on a fixed gear bike.
    .cinelli.olympic.surly.long.haul.trucker.kona.ku.surly.steamroller.
    .litespeed.classic.litespeed.firenze.bianchi.pista.dean.colonel.plus.more.

  25. #25
    Senior Curmudgeon FarHorizon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rob944
    As Dennis Miller once said: "why do 10 year old boys find farts hysterically funny?" "because farts are hysterically funny!"
    My introduction to the famous "one cheek sneak" happened when I was about 10 at Grace Baptist Church. The sweet-looking little old lady in the pew in front of me, Ms. Genevive Guines, managed to ease out a classic "chee-wee" that she must have been saving up all week for. As eyes watered for 15 feet in all directions, and small children keeled over, the old biddey had the gall to turn around and glare at me as if I'd done it!

    Ms. Guines was a legend to me and my friends until we, too, rapidly mastered the one cheek sneak technique and became equally adept at blaming others. sic transit gloria mundi...

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