Now with tartar control..
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Northern Colorado
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Can I just be alone? AIB How to get wife into biking...
Well, the Kid is back. I have been really busy with everything in my life, and have also moved to a new house, which is taking up all my time, trying to get it to be livable. All things aside, I have not been biking at all in about a month and a half. (Please, I beg to not be excommunicated).
Back on track, another reason I haven't biked is also attributed to my girlfriend. I tried to bike on a Saturday and she made me feel kind of guilty about leaving, saying I never invite her biking. To be honest, I never heard her say she wants to bike at all before this. Well, all the aside, I did not go out that day and haven't since. (Not entirely because of that, see my moving adventures and buying a house)
So we talked about it, and finally got a cheapo bike for her to ride. (Which hasn't even been touched since we brought it home)
My deal is that I used biking as MY escape from the world. I am an only child and tend to pick up hobbies on my own to do, which can be thought of as selfish, but in all relationships I believe each partner deserves and needs alone time in order for it to be healthy. But I usually cave in on things like this and not speak out. (The same goes for other things too, like watching TV, and what to eat) Sometimes I feel that if I have things my way, I may be seen as too controlling and authoritative.
I don't mind biking with her, but there are times when I would want to go fast, and ride for hours/miles/heck, eventually days and I don't think she wants to do that. I mean I know I can do leisure rides with her, but I feel that my growth as a cyclist will stagnate.
I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I almost feel threatened, and I am SUPREMELY guilty for not riding today, bike to work day.
Sorry to dump this on all of you, I just needed to get this out and I feel a little better. And, as when I always write stuff out, I tend to understand my problem better. I would like to hear other opinions on this and if there are similar situations out there.