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  1. #1
    Fight the good fight
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    Your Most Embarrassing Moment

    While I can't remember my most embarrassing moment, I witnessed what had to be a most embarrassing moment for a classmate. Last night, I was in a class with people of varying levels of education. Some have Masters, some JD's, some BA's and some have less education. There came a point during our classroom discussion when the topic was auctions. The instructor picked two people in the class and asked them to immulate an auction by going back and forth starting with $75,000 bidding with increasing increments of $500.00. Here is how it went:

    Student No. 1 : $75,000!

    Student No. 2 : (...thinking...thinking...thinking...scribbles in note pad...thinking) 75,500.

    Student No. 1 : $76,000.00

    Student No. 2 : $80,000.00!

    Class bursts into laughter

    Student No. 2: (To instructor) Man, we just got finished eating and you want us to think?



    The discussion went on like this for awhile with the class roaring thunderously with laughter. I could just imagine how student no. 2 must have felt. I probably would have crawled under a table if that were me. One person yelled out, "You are sending HER to an AUCTION?!"

    If that were me, I would have crawled under a table. Hopefully, she will forget that day just as I forgot my most embarrassing time. I wanted to publish it hear, but I sincerely couldn't recall it. Maybe it was that time I had a fiber attack while talking to a cashier/clerk -she wouldn't shut up! I remember a volcanic reaction in my stomach which hurt like the dickens It was a small store, no bathroom. She would not shut up and even if she did, I doubted if I could walk at all -so I had to let out just a tiny tiny bit of air -but it was loud and my brakes wouldn't work. I just stood there and looked at her -still unable to move (God knows what would have happed if I dared move and inch) she stared back at me in utter amazement. When the clerk finally shut up, I had to walk out of there with my butt tight tight tight all the way across the street I was close to tears.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Paul L.'s Avatar
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    I almost walked into a women's restroom one time when I was 10. Got yelled at as I had the door half open. Man alive was I embarrased. Thought I was the only who ever did that until about a year ago when i got to catch two women busy talking and walking into the Men's restroom by mistake. That is the kind of thing you only do once I figure.
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  3. #3
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    First ride on my brand new road bike I rode about 50 yards from the car and stopped to wait for my wife and her friend. I unclipped my left foot but for some reason leaned to my right and before I knew it I was on the ground

  4. #4
    But Getting Smaller Bigmark's Avatar
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    I was about 10 to 13, and got a new generator light. You know the kind that flips onto the front wheel, and the light comes on. Well I am a prove it kind of guy, and was bent way over the handlebars trying to see how bright the light was. Well wham! I smashed into the back bumper of my dadís car. The bar came up and hit me HARD! And down I went. It would not have been bad, but my dad came running over, and made sure I didnít mess up his bumper, like I could have hurt a 1965 chrome bumper with my 3 speed.

    The up side of the story is (there is always an up side) I learned how to replace forks and put a tube and tire on a new rim.
    ~~"Get on your bikes and ride!"~~
    Working to be JustMark

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Walked up on a friend while she was releaving her self in the woods - on a river trip.
    Joe
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  6. #6
    Newbie biker steel_is_real's Avatar
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    Fell off my bike at a downtown intersection while going up on the inside of stopped traffic. Ended up upside-down on the sidewalk, still clipped in with the bike on top of me. Needless to say I had a few grazes but the bike didn't have a scratch.

  7. #7
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    Was taking off from the local market, with the regulation half-gallon of milk etc in the backpack, and didn't see the grey horizontal pipe that blended in with the grey background, and ran smack into it, head tube contacts pole, I go right over handlebars, end up on the ground wondering if I can make it look like I meant to do that, and conclude there's no way I can.

  8. #8
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    I have a history of embarassing myself. Lets see which time.Self confession time.
    think worst. Conventions. In Chicago at the Bismark hotel, think it was on north side. Lots of drinking going on. think I did some kind of boilermaker thing. Puked up just before US Sen. Charles Percy was about to speak..I left. Told they cleared out the room for an adjacent one. Stayed low all convention..
    Sitting in the front row at a political breakfast at some gathering. was just a young kid..Cut a radish within my salad. It escaped my fork. Flew towards the speakers table. Headed right for Lt. Gov. William Milliken.
    Somehow forced the door of the restroom open on an airliner. Some woman was putting herself back together. Must have been leaning against the door somehow. Was sort of washing herself..Fully clothed but wished she had kept the door secured. Sort of putting herself back together, if you know what I mean. don't guess it was my fault.

  9. #9
    Feral Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Spent the whole of my first day in high school with my fly down, and only noticed at the end of the day. That pretty much set the tone for the next 3 years of my life.

    Crapped my pants in junior high (13 yrs old ferchrissake!), and had to take a public bus home.

    Got caught by my sister masturbating.

    Sorry, but I can't think of anything bicycle related that comes close.

    Auction girl's got nothing on me.

  10. #10
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    So many to choose from...

    I puked in detention when I was in H.S. The next few weeks were a total nightmare.

    When I was about 12 or 13 I made my bike into a chopper by cutting the forks off another old bike and slipping them over the forks of my bike. Of course I didn't weld or anything like that. So my sister was standing in the front yard and I said watch this and did a wheelie. While I was up in the air the extra forks along with the tire came off. When I came down on the ends of the forks I flipped over the handlebars and landed on my back. She couldn't stop laughing. I wasn't hurt, thank God.

    I was hitchhiking once-walking backwards with my thumb out. I heard someone yell "look out" and wondered what that was all about and the next thing I know I'm standing in blackness and there's a foul odor. I had fallen into an open sewer hole! I was able to jump and get my hands on the rim of the hole and pull myself up and out. I could have been hurt really bad I suppose, but all that was injured was my pride.

    I have to tell one more. This is good. It happened back when I was in Jr High. I played trumpet in the band. One day in my private leson the teacher asked me to an excerpt of "Sleigh Ride" as fast as I could. I did. "Sleigh Ride" was a tune for the Christmas concert but it was going to be performed by the 9th graders only. I was in 7th at the time. But Mr. Blewitt was so impressed with my ability that he told to play along with the 9th graders at the concert. When it reached the part of the song where he had asked me to play as fast as I could well, I played it as fast as I could-which was considerably faster then the rest of the band was going! It took me a moment or two to figure out what happened. I sat out the rest of the song as I glowed bright red. Two years later when I went to high school on the first day I reported for band practice one of the trumpet players who had witnessed the desecration of their song said to a girl standing next to him: "that's the guy" We never did get along. But I played trumpet better then him.

  11. #11
    Fight the good fight
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclezealot
    I have a history of embarassing myself. Lets see which time.Self confession time.
    think worst. Conventions. In Chicago at the Bismark hotel, think it was on north side. Lots of drinking going on. think I did some kind of boilermaker thing. Puked up just before US Sen. Charles Percy was about to speak..I left. Told they cleared out the room for an adjacent one. Stayed low all convention..
    Sitting in the front row at a political breakfast at some gathering. was just a young kid..Cut a radish within my salad. It escaped my fork. Flew towards the speakers table. Headed right for Lt. Gov. William Milliken.
    Somehow forced the door of the restroom open on an airliner. Some woman was putting herself back together. Must have been leaning against the door somehow. Was sort of washing herself..Fully clothed but wished she had kept the door secured. Sort of putting herself back together, if you know what I mean. don't guess it was my fault.

    Something similar happed to George Bush Sr. He was at a meeting with the prime minister of Japan after eating some sushi which didn't agree with him. He turned and barfed all over the prime minister's head. Yuk!

  12. #12
    Senior Member Brian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilHinault
    Was taking off from the local market, with the regulation half-gallon of milk etc in the backpack, and didn't see the grey horizontal pipe that blended in with the grey background, and ran smack into it, head tube contacts pole, I go right over handlebars, end up on the ground wondering if I can make it look like I meant to do that, and conclude there's no way I can.
    Two guys walked into a bar last night. The 3rd one ducked.

  13. #13
    Embrace the weirdness. primaryreality's Avatar
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    Bikewise, being in rush hour traffic at a major intersection and getting in the left-turn lane behind a car, and not realizing until after the light changed and traffic started moving that the lane to the right of me was also turning left.

  14. #14
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Ok....been reading these and I guess I'll finally throw mine in.

    1.
    In about 3rd grade, we had PE (Phys. Ed.) twice a week; on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Many kids used to wear shorts under their pants and remove their pants when we went out for PE so they could be better prepared for physical activity.

    So one day, I decide to get smart and do the same. Only....I think I'm gonna be even smarter...I'm gonna get them off before the time for PE so I don't take up too much time by the door.

    So I start taking my pants off 5 minutes before the time for PE while sitting in my desk. After a few minutes, I'm squirming because it's a tight fit and before you know it, I'm stuck with my pants half way down.

    The teacher comes over to ask me what I'm doing and I explain I was trying to take my pants off for PE. She got all confused because apparently I had got the days mixed up and it wasn't PE day. I could just tell by her face that she just thought I was some super weird kid who was trying to take his pants off in class and got stuck in the desk.
    2.
    Now, fast forward to 5th grade. My mom used to torture my brother and I sometimes doing "girly" things to/with us (my brother and I) because she never had a daughter to do them with. One night she made me sit down and put nail polish on me. I'm 10....thinking its a fun joke ........UNTIL afterward she realizes that she has no more nail polish remover and its too late to go up and get any as all the stores would be closed.

    My mom being the good mother who was dedicated to our education still forced me to go to school in 5th grade with my nails painted bright red. What could I do? There was NO WAY that was going to make it all day unnoticed, so I had to play it off like I did it on purpose and trying to make a big joke out of it. I tried to make them laugh "with me" instead of "at me"....not sure how well that plan turned out.
    3.
    Another story from 5th grade. My younger brother got gum in his hair; right in the collick. Being the good brother I told him that mom would surely pull his hair horribly by trying to comb it out, so let me take care of it. I got some scissors and pretty much cut all the hair to the scalp right at his collick (meaning well).

    It was obvious super quick with his hair sticking up like punk rocker....it was so bad that my parents had to get his hair cut in to a crew cut (which was not cool in 1980). My parents thought that I was the devious bad boy for cutting his hair, so for punishment they made me get a crew cut too.

    The next day at school, in the middle of the Florida summer I wore a skip cap to try to cover my head. Everybody was asking, what are you wearing a ski cap when its so hot for? Finally....one kid walked by me in class and grabbed the hat and ran with it....revealing my nearly bald head. The entire class laughed at me for what seemed like forever.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  15. #15
    Specialized Member ChAnMaN's Avatar
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    My most embarassing moment...2 years ago i was a Junior camp counseler for a 4th and 5th grade church camp up in the woods. Well the Senior counselers decieded it would be fun to pull a prank on the us junior counselers, so heres what went down. They told us we were going to sneak out in the middle of the night and take all the boys in our cabins "Snipe hunting." They said Snipes were little birds that couldnt fly and that we would have the kids run through the bushes and herd all the snipes in one area but they needed us to hide and hold the paper bags and get the snipes to run into them.

    long story short (kinda) we are out there at two in the mourning running around trying to catch imaginary birds and the few of us junior counselers havnt caught on yet becuase everyone who is in on it is pointing and saying they see Snipes everywhere. This is where it gets embarassing. They come up with the great idea to heard all the "snipes" into the lake. so they have us running towards the lake and they start throwing rocks in the lake to make all the kids think the snipes are in the jumping in the water....they tell everyone to run and jump in the water and get them.....................

    Im standing there with my shoes off about 30 seconds from getting in that water with all the senior counselers looking at us when everything clicks........ worst feeling in my entire life. then they start breaking out the cameras and taking pictures and me and my friend who got tricked just took off in the woods to hide for awhile and think about what just happend.
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  16. #16
    Member
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    That's hilarious! My dad took sent me and my brothers snipe hunting one night, but they took it to a whole new level with throwing rocks in the water and all that. HAHA.

  17. #17
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    most embarassing moment.....oh dear...I have too many of them...

    the worst recurring one (yes I have issues paying attention) is forgetting to zip after using the urinal....worst part is work here prefers teh short workcoats, and not the long knee-length ones

    As for school....it definately had to be the whistling nose blow.....I had to blow my nose but the teacher was being a b***h and not allowing me to go and blow my nose, so after an hour of sniffling she got pissed and told me to go blow it NOW..so I did, and there was this loud whistling/squealing noise that came out...also blew a hole through the kleenex, resulting in a nice mess all over the floor. Needless to say i was mortified, and to top it off I somehow got detention over it because the teacher thought I was doing it to be disruptive....

  18. #18
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    Embarassing moments. They come back if you stop supressing them. Recall, i was like 5. It was christmas. the whole family was there. Recall the pain when my thing got caught in the zipper. too young to know better and told the whole family. thought I needed medical attention, I guess. My older neighbor girl told me, when I was like 3 I escaped the house naked. parents chasing me down the street. mortifying.
    being hypothetical. so many threads about team kit/ role of lycra going on and on right now...can you imagine the horror if your cycling friends put viagara in your power drink, mid ride. Have to kill them.
    oh well., I always have soccer shorts in my jersey pocket. wifey might take to my riding more when I got home. think it would distract your from the ride.

  19. #19
    Senior Member JBar's Avatar
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    With the exception of Nicodemus, you guys are way too sensitive if that shxit comprises your most embarassing moments. Heck, mine are so bad that I'm embarassed to confess them!!

  20. #20
    Fight the good fight
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    Quote Originally Posted by JBar
    With the exception of Nicodemus, you guys are way too sensitive if that shxit comprises your most embarassing moments. Heck, mine are so bad that I'm embarassed to confess them!!

    REALLY?

    I bet this one can top anything you and anyone else has.

    I was younger but just old enough to wash myself. Maybe I was 6. Mom was entertaining and asked to me go and take a bath. I used too much soap waaaay too much soap and it was burning me "down there" I didn't know why it burned I just knew it was VERY uncomfortable so I cried and yelled for my mother who -was too busy entertaining to hear me. Well, the burning became so intense I thought I was going to -I don't know -burst into flames -so I ran out into the living room where she and her friends were. I was naked, crying and pointing down there. "IT BURNS!!!!!" She looked at me and in a relaxed tone she explained that if I didn't get my you-know-what in the bathroom and rinse the soap off... there would be hell to pay. I'd used so much soap, it took me a very very long time to get it off me.

    There was another time I tried to shape my eyebrows like the big girls -I was in Jr. High. I shaved one eyebrow completely off. Mom was so pissed, she looked at me and said. "You are going to school looking just like that!" To this day, I still don't try to shape my own eyebrows. Somebody help me past this! I'm ruined for life!

  21. #21
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    well I do have others, but they are not even remotely suitable for this forum...so I'm just putting the worst that I can post....

    ...plus if I could post those I wouldn't!

  22. #22
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    I turned up for a big ride last year and went to get changed only to find I had forgotten to pack the padded bike shorts. Rather embarassing after trying to tell some relatives who lived at the starting point how much riding I did. My wife did not let me live that one down for a while, but that is what wives are for, right? I was happy I at least remembered the bike.

    As a side note, snipe hunting was a favorite induction with my boy scout troop. At summer camp we would normally get the new kids out just around dark and roll pine cones down the hill. Some of the older kids were in on the prank and acted like they had caught some in their bags. We had a few kids out looking the next evening once.
    He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

  23. #23
    Senior Member
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    Can't pick one.......

  24. #24
    crotchety young dude el twe's Avatar
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    Bike Related: I was at a stop light (riding downtown with my friend). I pulled out of my right toe clip, and was stopped. But then, I got distracted by a friend's car as it passed, and I started to lean left. I flailed around trying to shift my weight right again, but too late. I fell right in front of a minivan (luckily the light was still red). My friend gave me **** for it 'cus I told him how comfortable I was with these toe clips just the other day. I'm sure the cars were quite confused/amused as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by CardiacKid View Post
    I explained that he could never pay me enough cash for the amount of work I had put into that bike and the only way to compensate me for it was to ride the hell out of it.
    IRO Angus Casati Gold Line

  25. #25
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    While on vacation in Thailand I was having my back waxed and decided to the crack just below the back done also. After it was done the lady was checking out her work and I farted in her face. But as I had an upset stomach I also thought I pooped at the same time. I got up real quick and ran down the hall naked to the bathroom.

    After the 4th grade my class moved to a new school. Except for me as I was allowed to attend the 4th grade for an extra year.

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