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Old 08-02-02, 01:34 PM   #1
Matadon
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Am I a jerk?

Have a look at my Kuro5 diary, and tell me what you think.
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Old 08-02-02, 01:39 PM   #2
lotek
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In a word, No.
and there's nothing more to say on that subject.

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Old 08-02-02, 02:19 PM   #3
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I don't think so, and I'm a woman. But then I have been told I'm a little strict... But I like it that way!
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Old 08-02-02, 02:33 PM   #4
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Originally posted by Natophelia
I don't think so, and I'm a woman. But then I have been told I'm a little strict... But I like it that way!
Nat
I know what you mean; I'm generally a no-BS kind of guy -- pretty relaxed about most things (e.g., when I'm dating a girl, I don't go apes*** if they want to hang out with their guy-friends), but I've been called many nasty things because I'll gladly tell someone to sod off if they try to stick me with the chump card.

*sigh*

Oh well, back to the dating game again...maybe this time I'll find a girl who owns lycra. *grin*
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Old 08-02-02, 02:36 PM   #5
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No, not a jerk.
The question is - why have you not made a move if you were interested in this person? :confused:
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Old 08-02-02, 02:43 PM   #6
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No, not a jerk.
The question is - why have you not made a move if you were interested in this person? :confused:
Actually, she made a move on me -- we quasi-dated for a few weeks after she pinned me down in my car for a few hours on a Sunday night. This was good, but I was getting a wierd vibe from her afterwards.

So, I asked her where this was going, and got a very resonable answer -- while dating me wouldn't be bad in any form, there were some major political problems involved for both of us -- she used to date a friend of mine, and he's a bit nutty about things like that. That, and she's been really wanting to see what happens with the guy (who is moving back here from Colorado), and I can understand that -- if I was waiting for someone to show up, I wouldn't want to throw it away just because I met someone else whom I didn't know as well. I'd just let things ride and see what worked out.

On an additional note, things may still work out -- she's made noises in the past about certain attributes of the guy-from-afar that she doesn't like, and I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of getting together with her after she's figured things out. I just let her know that I'm not going to wait around for that to happen. There's bound to be a attractive, intelligent gal out there who is actually *available*.

Hey, such is life.
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Old 08-02-02, 04:27 PM   #7
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If it makes you a jurk to not sugar coat every thing then yes, but in my book no.

Jared
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Old 08-02-02, 06:02 PM   #8
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There is no way that you are a jerk. This girl just wants some security in her life, something to fall back on if her real interest does not work out. You're not a doormat so don't be treated as one. Well that's my 2 cents.
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Old 08-02-02, 07:59 PM   #9
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I'm sure it would be good for her ego if you were willing to be a tragic rejected lover and hang around putting your life on hold in the hope that things won't work out and she will take you back. (And maybe she would...until the next time she found someone she would rather be with. In real life, women don't respect guys who hang around hoping to catch them on the rebound.)

Sounds to me like you're just getting on with your life and have a decent amount of self-respect. Friendship is one thing, being kept 'on the string' is something else.
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Old 08-02-02, 11:11 PM   #10
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Nope, just smarter than she thinks you are.

"The ******** you get is not worth the ******** you get."

With her plan you only get the second type!!!!

Ride the bike not....
Pat
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Old 08-03-02, 12:05 AM   #11
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Seems to me like you're just not allowing yourself to be taken for a ride. I don't see anything wrong with that.
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Old 08-03-02, 10:09 AM   #12
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No way are you being a jerk-you are just showing some self-respect. I'm unimpressed with her "user-mentality." Sounds like she is taking advantage of what could be a fine friendship. Good luck-ever come to the east coast?
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Old 08-03-02, 11:41 AM   #13
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Not a jerk.

Lay down the law and she'll be strangely re attracted to you.

Text book analogy.
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