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Old 08-05-05, 06:04 PM   #1
islenska
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cycling -vs- relationships

I have been reading (on this board) about some of the troubles that couples face when it comes to cycling and their relationships, and it has made me very curious about how one affects the other. In many cases it seems that cycling gets blamed as an "obsession" or a "lifestyle," thereby creating problems in the relationship.

So my question is...

Has cycling casued a problem for you in your relationship? And if so, how?
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Old 08-05-05, 06:31 PM   #2
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Cycling helped me when I broke up with my fiancťe (and girlfriend of 10 years).

She broke up with me in November of 2003, I was depressed for a couple of months and bought a Specialized Rockhopper in January of 2004.

It's my "new" obsession. I'd rather spend money on bikes and accessories than on dating.
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Old 08-05-05, 07:24 PM   #3
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I bought my wife a Cannondale F600 on my birthday. How's that for love?
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Old 08-05-05, 07:28 PM   #4
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My wife is my #1 supporter.
She bought my Litespeed (see pic below) for me.
She always reminds me to take the checkbook when I go to the LBS.
She says when we retire she'll take up cycling.

No relationship problems here.
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Old 08-05-05, 10:07 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by islenska
In many cases it seems that cycling gets blamed as an "obsession" or a "lifestyle," thereby creating problems in the relationship.
Being healthy & active is a lifestyle, just as sitting on your butt all day watching TV is also a lifestyle. Maybe those that have trouble with their relationships should not have been in those to begin with? I don't know.
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Old 08-05-05, 11:20 PM   #6
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Cycling has helped me realise I'm better off alone.
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Old 08-06-05, 12:01 AM   #7
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My wife is fully supportive of my cycling addiction. After reading this thread I asked her if my cycling bothered her in any way and she gave me a confusued look and asked; why would it bother me?

Last Christmas she even asked for a bike! She's turned into a little commuter herself. What a gal!
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Old 08-06-05, 12:10 AM   #8
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My wife is addicted with me...
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Old 08-06-05, 04:58 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G-Unit
I'd rather spend money on bikes and accessories than on dating.
TESTIFY!! Can I hear an AMEN??
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Old 08-06-05, 06:36 AM   #10
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My husband (then fiance') bought me my old bike as a christmas present back in 1997. I'd worn my old Huffy completely out by then, and was constantly talking about how I should buy a new bike, but never getting around to doing it. I'm bad about not addressing my own wishes, so he stepped up. Some people might not think that old Trek 800 is much of a bike, but it's been a great bike for me for a lot of years, plus it's laden with sentimental value, since it was a gift from a man who knows how I am so very well.

I wish he wasn't working nights right now, because he hardly ever has the time or energy to go riding with me anymore, which I miss. He's one of a handful of people I know who can keep up with me--the legs on this man are unreal, plus he's an ex cross-country runner, too. On the other hand, when we do go riding together, he can drive me kind of crazy when he leads because he's not so good about signalling and he can be kind of all over the road. I think when he gets to a point where he has the time to go riding with me again, I'm going to have to give him a personalized bike safety and etiquette lesson! Hopefully I don't drive him too nuts.
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Old 08-06-05, 11:08 AM   #11
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I'm sure you were looking for more replies from people who said that their significant other hated the fact that they put such a priority on cycling. My wife is sick of it all. The TdF, Lance, hearing about my bike, ride, saddle position. But I'm sure she won't be complaining when I get down to my target weight and my new confidence results in better results elsewhere -- "if you know what I mean" -- Whose Line is it Anyway.

Cheers...
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Old 08-06-05, 11:17 AM   #12
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from other stuff i've read on this board it seemed like there were more problems, yes. if that's not the case i'm quite relieved!
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Old 08-06-05, 11:48 AM   #13
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It created my relationship.
Fat me + bike = skinny me
now ive got my girl who i love so im happy <3
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Old 08-06-05, 11:49 AM   #14
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My husband of nearly 30 years has been my biggest supporter, just as I have supported his hobbies and interests over the years. He never complains when I spend money on my bike and he makes an effort to ride with me occasionally, even though I can see that he doesn't enjoy it as much as I do.

If it's a good relationship, one partner is happy that the other one finds enjoyment. However, one must keep his or her priorities straight. Jobs, children, household obligations, and the relationship itself sometime have to come first. I'd resent the hell out of it if my husband consistently neglected his responsibilities or spent money that we didn't have to pursue his hobby. In a successful relationship, each partner learns the correct balance of give and take for that relationship. (What would upset me might be perfectly fine for someone else.)

I don't think there's anything magical about cycling. It feels that way to those of us who love it but there are folks out there who are *nuts* about all kinds of sports and hobbies. I used to do freelance reporting for our local newspaper and wrote an article about RC plane, car, and boat hobbyists. Talk about time and money!
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Old 08-06-05, 12:00 PM   #15
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My ex-girlfriend thought it was childish. Like an adult that insists on playing with dolls or something.
Of course she had no hobbies other than shopping and thought that outside was dirty.

I said ex...
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Old 08-06-05, 12:04 PM   #16
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AMEN!! My last gf hating me biking she wanted me to get a car...haha...when hell frizes over. Main reason I broke up with her is because of that, and she said the my mom was going to hell, just after she passed away less then a month. I had an old pic of my EZ-3 USX with her on it (http://cs150_1.comp-sci.edgewood.edu/ccorbett/Bike.htm) I miss the bike more then I do her. I broke the frame 2x and then my LBS gave me my Marin.

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Old 08-06-05, 01:35 PM   #17
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Here is a little secret I have about screening for potential relationship problems. I always introduce a new guy to my: 1. animal family, 2. the bikes and 3. the human family. I note their reactions to these groups and see it he will be part of my life or not-since these are very important to me and screening out the "duds" from the "wonders" save me time, money and heartache when things will go wrong-and trust me they will.
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Old 08-06-05, 05:02 PM   #18
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Yeah, we have cycling-related problems that have contributed to my relunctance to marry him. He's more of a rock-n-roll-playin', whiskey-drinkin' sort, and I think he struggles w/ the fact that I would rather spend sunday mountain biking than drinking bloody marys and/or going to the mall. I think it's also hard for some guys' egos when their girlfriends are stronger, in much better shape, and generally better at sports than they are.

We try hard to be supportive of each other's hobbies, but my biking (or his inability to deal w/ it), has created more problems than anything else in our relationship. Alas, I fear it might not last...
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Old 08-06-05, 06:59 PM   #19
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He's more of a rock-n-roll-playin', whiskey-drinkin' sort.. it's also hard for some guys' egos when their girlfriends are stronger, in much better shape, and generally better at sports than they are. ... Alas, I fear it might not last...
Just curious, you and your bf sound like total opposites, especially when it comes to athletics. What made you two get together to begin with? I couldn't imagine myself dating a couch potato or someone would give me crap when I want to spend a couple of hours a day exercising.
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Old 08-06-05, 07:02 PM   #20
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I used to be a die-hard skier (tele, btw). I wouldn't even look at girls who didn't ski. The women I knew who could turn 'em were all either spoken for, or "one of the guys," so I ended up spending the majority of my time unintentionally single. Still, I would have rather been single than be with someone who put a damper on my skiing. Now, I dont ski much but I'm about 10x more into cycling than I was ever into skiing. Realizing that my celibacy might last a lifetime if I didn't broaden my horizons, I started dating other women, which, to my surprise, was MUCH better than dating a female version of myself. But, plain and simple, if she had a problem with cycling to the point that we were fighting about it all the time, etc., I'd drop her like she was on a WalMart hybrid.
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Old 08-06-05, 07:09 PM   #21
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i have no relationships....but i have 3 bikes
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Old 08-06-05, 07:19 PM   #22
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I've lost about a hundred pounds so far. My marriage was great before, but as I lose weight, it's getting dirtier.
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Old 08-06-05, 07:45 PM   #23
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My parents took up cycling a few years back and almost divorced after picking up their first tandem... It seems my mom wanted to ride up front but my dad didn't want to lose control... hence his new technique of stearing from the back seat... basically picking the bike up and trying to bunny hop it to where he wants to go
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Old 08-06-05, 07:53 PM   #24
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Things were going great until she recommended installing a heart rate monitor on the bed.
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Old 08-06-05, 10:53 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G-Unit
It's my "new" obsession. I'd rather spend money on bikes and accessories than on dating.
Spending money while on date is for noobs. If you got the right girl, you be having sex at that point...
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