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Old 04-03-01, 09:13 PM   #1
mike
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Talk about weird!

O.K., let's talk about weird. What is the weirdest thing you have seen while on your bicycle?

Alright, let's have a go at it like that.

I will read some input before going any further.
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Old 04-03-01, 09:28 PM   #2
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Mike,

If I see something weird while riding, I just keep going.
I really don't want to get involved.

I did get stopped on the bike path (oops! Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag) by a roller-blader yesterday, asking me where the path led to. I said, "Umm, I'm not sure." We stood there and looked at each other for a second, then split. That was pretty weird.
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Old 04-03-01, 09:37 PM   #3
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This is all too weird, Pete.

I am glad you kept going because your experience leads to my story. And when you hear my story, you too will be glad that you kept going because some people can be too weird and some roller bladers can be even more weird than regular weird people.

Take it from me. I have roller bladed and found roller bladers to be quite on the other edge of the coin, if you know what I mean. That is why I found sanctuary in bicycling where most people are pretty normal - except for Technogirl. Technogirl does not want to be normal.

Anyway, where was I?...
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Old 04-03-01, 09:44 PM   #4
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I like most of your stories, Mike. Whether they are true or not, I don't care!

I was wondering, though, do you think there would be a market for "Rogaine" leg cream?

Hey, I was wondering, is it true that tight jeans really abraid leg hairs? I have this "bald spot..."

Mike, if I see any Sumo wrestlers on the bike path, should I keep going? After what you told me about them, maybe they will start rollerblading on the bike path! I am starting to really get concerned...

Last edited by LittleBigMan; 04-03-01 at 10:00 PM.
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Old 04-03-01, 10:03 PM   #5
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Well, this one starts out normal enough. I am cruising home after a long day of work and there I see it;

A big Slurpee cup with the lid still on sitting right on the curb. Naturally, I am thinking, "what the heck?"

What would you do? Well, I did what Hunter would do and I swing by to pick it up. You sure can't just leave it sitting there.

Oh, by the way, did I mention it was THREE-FOURTHS FULL? Ya, it was!

Needless to say, a BIG Slurpee is an odd shaped cup - a trough really- and it is very difficult to hold onto with one hand while you are biking (even more difficult to hold onto with two hands). It was stupidly not designed to fit into a bike's drink cage.

So, I am carrying this thing and my hands are getting cold and it is getting curiously more and more heavy with each passing stop sign. Pretty soon, it starts feeling like a box car, so big and heavy.

Rainman, you know what happens next. Yup, C-R-A-S-H! My front wheel hits the curb and I go flying like the cannon-man from P.T. Barnum Circus.

Flying is always an interesting thing, but the landing was even more titilating. True to form, I landed chest first; just like my judo teacher taught me, but backwards. The really interesting thing was that the big slurpee did not spill. What a wonder of modern science that lid is! Somehow, when I opened my eyes, there it was, all whole and everything laying right by my eyebrow. This was the first time I noticed it was a Green Slurpee.

Once mounted on my steel steed again with Slurpee in hand, I had a new respect for this hearty beverage and it's noble container. The crash had taken a lot out of me, but the Slurpee was not even dazed.

Perhaps it was the wonderment of this curiously resiliant liquid or maybe I just wasn't thinking straight due to the crash, but next thing I knew, I was sipping from that which only minutes ago I had just met on a street corner!

I was horrified at my own actions. "Oh my, what have I done?!"

Oh, oh, excuse me. This is getting too long. Shall I continue?
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Old 04-03-01, 10:21 PM   #6
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Well, it is just about that time that things start going zany in my eyeballs. Suddenly, I am zipping along like I have a Chicago tail-wind.

I'm thinking, "this must be all sucrose, man, cause it is way too much for this simple homosapian!"

I thought I was going fast until along comes this chick on a single speed coaster brake Schwinn passing me up. She is looking oh so plyable - almost spongelike - and with the most perfectly shaved legs...

Could it possibly be?...

Could it be Technogirl? I read about her, but could this be real?
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Old 04-03-01, 10:27 PM   #7
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Uh, should you continue? I dunno...I lost you at "Well, this one...". I saw something nice and shiny, and decided to stare at it for awhile--oh, yeah, after someone turned off the light, I decided to read your story. What was that again?

Weird stories, are they supposed to bike related? I have a lot of weird stories, but they aren't bike related. I wish I had some weird bike story to tell you, but all my really weird stories involves a bus rides.

And Pete, do ya think those sumo wrestlers would start a new thong trend on the bike path? (Sure that trend started, coz someone had some had a huge whole in their underwear.) It sure beats this spandex-I'm-trying-to-suck-in-all-my-fat-but-i'm-really-cool look, i see every now and then...

Hey! Who are you callin' normal? I belive the pc word for it would be "mentally challenged".
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Old 04-03-01, 10:29 PM   #8
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"The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent..."

7:13 p.m. We are coming out of a Burger King after picking up dinner. A careless citizen has left a 7-Up bottle dangerously positioned in the driveway. I pick it up.

"Joe, can you believe this?"

"What is it?"

"Someone left a full soda-pop in the driveway."

"Is it empty?"

"No. I can't understand why someone would leave their drink untouched like that, standing straight up."

"You'd better take a look."

"I don't know, Joe. Maybe we should have the Crime Lab check it out."

"I'm with you."

We stopped in at the crime lab. It was 7:23 pm.

"Well, what do you make of it?"

"Definitely less than 12 hours old."

"And...?"

"It's warm..."
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Old 04-03-01, 10:36 PM   #9
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What the hey...

Geeze, Pete, this is too strange. Your experience sounds so much like mine. Similar but opposite like I am living in reality and you are living in my bizarro world or something.

What could the reason for this parallel be?
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Old 04-03-01, 10:37 PM   #10
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Is this a reference that you Mike has directed toward me?
"What would you do? Well, I did what Hunter would do and I swing by to pick it up. You sure can't just leave it sitting there."
If so why?
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Old 04-03-01, 10:46 PM   #11
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Hunter, to me, you are the kind of guy who would not allow litter to clutter up the streets.

To me, you seem like the kind of fellow who knows in his mind what is good and what is bad and you have the nards to do something to make things right.

That's what I think and that is how you made it into the story.

Now tell us, would you have picked up that Big Slurpee sitting on the curb?

And then what?
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Old 04-03-01, 10:50 PM   #12
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Eeew...I saw the warm substance in the cup. It was kind of yellow and kind of warm, too. So, I took a swig. I quickly choked on the brownish-green crud that was mingled together with the mixture.Man, that was pretty foul! Just as I had suspected...it was Oblong tea!

No matter, I foolishly threw the bottle towards the recycling bin (I'm somewhat of a tree-hugger), but missing it by a few inches. Unfortunately, I managed to nail some guy with a this massive Slurpee in his hand. "Whoops!", I said. Yeah, he looked like he ran his body into some sort of soiled shrubbery. Don't ask me what type...Evergreen perhaps?

Not to sound mean or anything, but he really looked kind of shell-shocked. He kinda had some green stuff all over his mouth like a wild rabid dog, or the Incredible Hulk. Oh wait, he didn't have foam in his mouth when he undergone some metamorphosis...

At any rate, he looked quite terrible, and I was about to say so when...
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Old 04-03-01, 11:10 PM   #13
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Mike, I hope that Slurpee tasted better than "Lipovitan!"
At least it gave you as much energy...

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Old 04-03-01, 11:19 PM   #14
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Yes, yes, precisely. I remember all too clearly now.

There I was, horrified by my own actions - having taken a drink almost habitually from a giant plastic cup of unknown origin. Suddenly BLAM! I am knocked across the noggin by a glass bottle.

An unfamiliar feeling of rage came across me but quickly passed when I noticed that it was a recycleable glass bottle - a returnable at that. Suddenly, all was right with my world.

As I staggered to gain control of my machine, a firm grip took hold of my handle bars and steadied me. "Nice catch, Pete", the bottle tossing girl called out.

"Sure, thing TG! Watch where you toss your bottles."

"Hey" , I blurbbled "don't they make diamonds out of these things?" I asked pointing at the shapely returnable.

It occurred to me that I was rubbing my head with both hands rather than having them on the handle bars which is is specifically stated in the "Young Rider's Bicycling Safety Handbook" as being dangerous. I think, or at least it probably said that. (I only looked at the pictures).

Anyway, I was being guided along on my bike by my two new friends as I regained my consciousness. These were not two normal bicyclists, though, they were super cyclists being fueled by something extreme like sucrose plus dextrose or something. I'm not sure because I am not a scientist by profession. Anyway, they were something to behold.
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Old 04-03-01, 11:41 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike
Hunter, to me, you are the kind of guy who would not allow litter to clutter up the streets.

(I think litter on the street looks disgusting yes. Whether I would not allow it well there are to many laws now and litter is one that is not enforced to well.)

To me, you seem like the kind of fellow who knows in his mind what is good and what is bad and you have the nards to do something to make things right.

(I wish I had that influence but all I can do is what the Lord says and that is be aware look around and tell other's what you see.)

That's what I think and that is how you made it into the story.

(OK)

Now tell us, would you have picked up that Big Slurpee sitting on the curb?

(No!)

And then what?
Well if I was on my bike I would have raised up my front wheel just before I cmae up to it and came down on top of it, as my protest to this lazy jesture by someone who cannot make it to a trash can.
Thanks for asking.
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Old 04-04-01, 01:34 AM   #16
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Well I'm going back and forth on this long stretch of road, when some people decide to play vollerball in the middle of the road. At first I manuever around the players who carelessly chase the ball like mindless ******* who don't care if a car is passing by. Anyway, I almost hit one of them during one of my passes so I scream at them: "This is a road, not the volleyball court" Of course, I say it in Filipino and in an angry manner with an angry look in my face. They stare at me. You'd think they'd be more careful after my warning. During my next pass, one of them says: "Hey, King of the Road!" That really pissed me off, so instead of hurling incentives at them, I give them a mean look EVERYTIME I pass them...plus, I turn on the backburners whenever I pass through their play area, holding a straightline.

When I made a few passes at full speed a couple of inches from their players (I was too pissed off at the time to care if I hit anybody or not), they finally got the message and backed off from the street whenever I was coming close.

I know this story isn't very wierd to most of you, but I think the fact that on many of our roads here in the Philippines, you will find people playing basketball, volleyball, hopscotch, billiards, mah-jong, and other type of games you've never heard about. I think Technogirl can name a few of them =)
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Old 04-05-01, 12:19 PM   #17
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Hey, how did I get sucked into this thread. I mean, I'm just going along, minding my own business, when, BLAM, my ears start burning. I get on line to check it out, and, yep, there I am in another off-the-wall thread. Curse you, Pete Clark. You started all this. Now everyone is doing it. Oh and thanks for reminding me of my clumsy riding, Mike. Just because a guy has two almost identical crashes (you'd think he would learn, wouldn't you?) in 4 months he gets a reputation.
You know how in college the fraternities have sweethearts? I move we elect Technogirl sweetheart of the Commuter forum. She's way cooler than ANY of the girls over in the Bicycle Mechanics forum. 'Course, truth to tell, Technogirl, you do have some stiff competition. That Fubar5 is some dish. Just look at his picture! So it won't be a slam dunk. Maybe we could have, like, a formal and everything.
I haven't seen anything wierd while riding that can hold a candle to this crowd. That must be why I feel so at home here. To quote the inimitable Firesign Theater comedy group (most of you are probably too Young), "We're all bozos on this bus!"
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Old 04-05-01, 07:51 PM   #18
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Well, I like telling wierd stories. So I guess 'll tell one here. But being a military brat and all, I'm gonna go with old tradition. Actually, I encourage all of you to do somewhat the same thing( I think some have already started).The tradition is, only 15% of the story has to be true.This makes for a good story. So here goes.
I was an awesome spring evening, perfect temperature, perfect wind perfect everything. So I dropped everything and headed for my bike. After checking the air pressure and lubing the chain I was off.It was about ten miles into the ride when things started going awry.I was headed up a hill,and the surroundings started changing, instead of perfect weather, it was terrible weather, stinkin' hot, no wind, and worst of all the hill dissapeared.And then these ugly metal contraptions started cruising by at 60-80 miles an hour, nearly knocking me off my bike.And when they had past I got choked by hot fumes coming from the exhaust and I could hardly breathe.Then one of these annoying things hit me, and I flew smack into a tree...SPLAT!!! Now I was ticked. I was John Wayne ,Dirty Harry and GI JOE. I pulled myself off the tree and stood in the path these pieces of crap seemed to be following, and when the next one came...I caught it with one hand, smashed it to smitherines and ripped the operator out of his seat and gave him a piece of my mind. When I was finished with him I continued destroying all those annoying pieces of crap I could get my hands on. Then...I found where they were coming from, and I destroyed that too!!!! And then, like magic, the world went back to normal....I was almost home, and there were no....................Cars
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Old 04-05-01, 07:52 PM   #19
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ah crap..I messed up on some grammar. Please excuse.
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Old 04-05-01, 08:44 PM   #20
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Absolutely. :cool:
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Old 04-27-01, 11:24 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike
Talk about weird!

O.K., let's talk about weird. What is the weirdest thing you have seen while on your bicycle?

Alright, let's have a go at it like that.

I will read some input before going any further.
Ah...I remember something weird!

I was gliding along in the pre-dawn darkness on my way
to the bus stop several years ago when, on the quiet,
empty street I spotted a jogger carrying a stick. Well, remembering as I did that joggers and walkers (and just about everybody else) are easily spooked by the
sudden, unexpected appearance of a swift cyclist swooping down on them, I waited until I could call out
to him and warn him of my approach.

"Good morning," I called out.


With that, this stick wielding jogger leaped into the air,
spinning around in my direction (which, since I was riding my bike, was changing), his head doing a sort of
"Bruce Lee" wobbly motion while he cryed out, "Hyaaaaa!" I could see he was prepared to use the stick.

:blush:
"Uh, excuse me! Sorry!" I said. I just kept going because I sensed the next few moments were going to be a little awkward.
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Old 04-27-01, 12:45 PM   #22
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The weirdest thing I've ever, ever seen are the previous posts in this thread.
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Old 04-27-01, 12:49 PM   #23
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The weirdest thing I've ever, ever seen are the previous posts in this thread.
:blush:
Cheryl, thank you, thank you very much!
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Old 04-27-01, 01:01 PM   #24
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Great aren't they?? If you want funny go to the "help for mike" thread, that one is funny.
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