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Old 04-06-01, 10:37 PM   #1
mike
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I have had several concerned Forum regulars contact me to see if I can confirm a startling rumor which, if true, could change the very fabric of the cycling community.

The rumor is that Pete is, in fact, not a bicyclist at all. Word has it that he was searching the web for "Bi kefor uhmnus" which is some strange Norwegian dance society involving drinking fermented seal blubber oil and dancing in the moonlight with carved melon masks.

As fate would have it, he stumbled on "BikeForums" by accident. The rest is history.

It according to my sources, Pete is actually a professional wrestler who goes by some intimidating stage name yet unrevealed to me.

To say the least, Pete is an unusual character. I am trying to piece together whatever information is available about him.

If you have something to contribute that would provide some background on this fascinating character we know as Pete Clark, please do share it with us.
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Old 04-07-01, 09:02 PM   #2
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We are going to have to get an attorney to look into this. Any good one you know of Oscar? Oh no wait, you're messed up, how about you Buddy?
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Old 04-07-01, 09:17 PM   #3
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yrtnuoc dlo eht ni kacb wal deiduts I em redisnoc nac uoy ,


(it's hard being influence by Mike)
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Old 04-07-01, 09:24 PM   #4
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Yeah Oscar, I'm sure we'll reach a settlement with only the people that care about you being able to understand your and Mikes incoherance...
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Old 04-07-01, 09:30 PM   #5
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okay, I am back, not quite!!!!
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Old 04-07-01, 09:32 PM   #6
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Oh isn't this great Pete!!! Oscar is almost back!! Ya!!!!
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Old 05-13-01, 05:39 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by mike
I have had several concerned Forum regulars contact me to see if I can confirm a startling rumor which, if true, could change the very fabric of the cycling community.
The rumor is that Pete is, in fact, not a bicyclist at all.
I am afraid the rumor is true...I am actually only an admirer of cyclists.
Quote:
Word has it that he was searching the web for "Bi kefor uhmnus" which is some strange Norwegian dance society involving drinking fermented seal blubber oil and dancing in the moonlight with carved melon masks.
This part is heresay. Actually, I was in the public library, surfing the net. It wasn't "Bi kefor uhmnus" I was searching for. It was, "Bike for Fun." Somehow I tangled my fingers while typing.
Quote:
As fate would have it, he stumbled on "BikeForums" by accident. The rest is history.
I just hope history is kind to me!
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According to my sources, Pete is actually a professional wrestler who goes by some intimidating stage name yet unrevealed to me.
This is true. I am a retired lightweight Southeastern American Sumo champion who goes by the singular name of, "Blue Christmas." You can check me out on reruns from Ted Turner's "Sumo South Network."
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To say the least, Pete is an unusual character. I am trying to piece together whatever information is available about him.
I am ready to "bear all!"
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If you have something to contribute that would provide some background on this fascinating character we know as Pete Clark, please do share it with us.
I guess that would be me to come forth with that info, Mike, since I am coming clean. I just want to say, that, while I am only an admirer of cyclists, I was inspired to get a bike only yesterday. Now, I am a "True Cyclist(R)!"

Now that I am part of the family, can I expect forgiveness? Is there some punishment for pretending to be a cyclist?
:confused:
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Old 05-13-01, 06:32 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pete Clark
I just want to say, that, while I am only an admirer of cyclists, I was inspired to get a bike only yesterday. Now, I am a "True Cyclist(R)!"
No so fast, Pete--I've just learned that a video clip on http://www.southerndepartmentstorevi...lancetapes.com shows you purchasing your so-called "bike" at a department store! What do you say to that?
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Old 05-13-01, 09:39 PM   #9
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Who is Pete Clark?
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Old 05-13-01, 09:48 PM   #10
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It's funny you should bring this up now. I was wondering the same thing when I started the post "How often do you ride". How could a posting machine like Pete possibly have time to ride? I think perhaps he is just living vicariously through this forum.
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Old 05-14-01, 07:56 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dirtgrinder
I think perhaps he is just living vicariously through this forum.
Thanks, Homer, uh, I mean, Dirtgrinder! You just gave me a GREAT idea: "Virtual Cycling."

What with all that great Japanese technology available in the electronic game industry, not to mention the close second, American defense technology, we could make a jillion dollars on this idea. The user plugs into a virtual world via his game set and t.v., and he/she is in the Tour de France, or any cycling scenario desired. And get this:
no bonking!

Do you think cyclists might go for it? :confused:
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Old 05-14-01, 08:50 AM   #12
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Maybe all of us should hook our computers up to cyclo-generators. That way we would have to pedal if we wanted to surf the web. You would get the best of both worlds...computers and bikes.
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Old 05-14-01, 03:44 PM   #13
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OK, I've finally figured it out. I've dug through the anal's of the internet and found this picture of Pete's bike. Now we know how he does it.
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Old 05-14-01, 04:01 PM   #14
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Very smooth Pete. Maybe you could spare the change and buy all of US a wireless palm pilot, and then we would all have 500 whatever posts..
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Old 05-15-01, 07:28 PM   #15
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I know y'all are just stabbing in the dark! But since you must know, I have a basket on the front of my bike. In the basket I keep an ExtraTerrestrial with a laptop as we bike across the moon...

Bike accidents are child's play now. I fall...10 maybe 15 hundred feet, and "Ouch!" Good thing Mr. E.T. has that light on the end of his finger.

He drinks "Duff," but I don't really like him to. He sometimes forgets how to keep the bike in the air, and we end up in the top of some tree, spending the night.

But now I'm rambling!
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Old 05-15-01, 07:43 PM   #16
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Pete,
Please stop this nonsense, I know and you know that you are a true blooded cyclist,so why masquarade, that your not when you are a true cyclist in and all the way to you bones, Correct me if I am wrong, Pete!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-15-01, 08:01 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pete Clark
But now I'm rambling!
Hey, Pete, your number 600 post is coming up--probably will be long past by the time I get this posted...
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Old 05-15-01, 08:03 PM   #18
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JonR,
leave the poor guy alone, and let him do all the posting he wants, thanx, buddy
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Old 05-19-01, 02:33 PM   #19
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Perhaps Pete Clark is not just a cyclist but rather multiple cyclists? Maybe some Atlanta area bicycling club shares a single "nom-de-plume" and password. Would that make it easier to believe 600+ postings in such a short time on virtually every subject in these Forums??? Just another rambling theory.
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Old 05-19-01, 03:20 PM   #20
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Pete Clark is more than just a bicyclist. He is a well rounded sportsman of many talents.

Check out this pic of our "sumo champ" at his favorite winter sport:
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Old 05-19-01, 05:17 PM   #21
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Of course, now that you've seen the "before" pictures, before I became a cyclist, check out me, "after," getting ready in the morning just after a hot shower:

http://animation.acmecity.com/stopmo...mmercial02.jpg
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Old 05-19-01, 05:32 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pete Clark
Of course, now that you've seen the "before" pictures, before I became a cyclist, check out me, "after," getting ready in the morning just after a hot shower:

http://animation.acmecity.com/stopmo...mmercial02.jpg
Oooohhhhhh Mama! Your almost as good lookin' as me, Johnny B!
By the way Pete, Thanks for smackin' me around earlier; I feel much better now. :cool:
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Old 05-19-01, 07:54 PM   #23
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Originally posted by Dirtgrinder
Your almost as good lookin' as me, Johnny B!
Now cut that out! No one, I mean, NO ONE is as pretty as me!
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Old 05-19-01, 08:10 PM   #24
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How did a sumo wrestler get to be a cyclist?

Looks like "Pete Clark" is out for a little "extra attention."

Are there any REAL cyclists here? Geezy-peezy.
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Old 05-19-01, 10:29 PM   #25
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Does anybody else notice that this thread questioning Pete's status as a cyclist keeps popping up?
Pete, I'm afriad you'll have to provide hard evidense to clear this up dude.
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