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View Poll Results: Your parents are...
Cool 33 89.19%
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Old 11-07-02, 10:57 PM   #1
Rob Begley
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Parents, Who hates them?

My parents are really gay! They won't listen to me and let me do what i want. So i think im just gonna trick them into thinking im not gonna do any vert or anything and just build a halfpipe with my freinds and go to some parks and have some fun. But if you guys had any similar problems, i want to know that you had to go through they pain im going through of not being able to do what i want. anyways Cheers and have a good night

Rob
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Old 11-07-02, 11:00 PM   #2
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Uh, you know...
As wild as it sounds, parents *sometimes* *may* be *right*!!! I know it's totally illogical and may seem even stupid, but in *rare* cases that's true!!!
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Old 11-07-02, 11:02 PM   #3
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Yeah, yeah. But biking is more important than being smart
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Old 11-07-02, 11:21 PM   #4
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Interesting question Rob. Especially when a large percentage of those on the forums are parents themselves.

Your attitude seems to have a lot to do with maturity. Let us know how you feel about the subject in 5 years.
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Old 11-07-02, 11:24 PM   #5
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I suppose its different when you have kids yourself, but i just think that i should be able to live my life how i want it, i guess thats just a teenager thing and im sure their right and all you other parents out their are right, but you know, you were in my position once to and im sure you felt the same way
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Old 11-07-02, 11:28 PM   #6
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I'm a parent now, and I remember thinking the same thing when Iw as a teenager. To be honest you will not realize all that you're parents do and why they do it.. until you are move out and on your own, and especialy when you have kids of your own.

There is reasoning behind what they are thinking and saying. In most cases they are probably correct, if you think they are not in not allowing you to do something. Come up with valid reasons why, and discuss it with them. Without specifics about what you disagree with your parents about it is hard to say more then that. And most important don't approach them how you posted on here, talk with them in a intelligent meaningful way. Act how old you want them to treat you know, outburst and react with emotion. This will just confirm what they are saying that you are young and need guidance. I'm not trying to put you down here.
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Old 11-07-02, 11:28 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rob Begley
.... you were in my position once to and im sure you felt the same way
Not exactly.

I didn't always agree with my parents when I was your age but I still had a great deal of respect for them.

I always knew that they had my best interests at heart.
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Old 11-07-02, 11:34 PM   #8
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Wow, i feel like an ass of a kid now...
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Old 11-07-02, 11:45 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rob Begley
My parents are really gay!

Rob
So do you have two dads or two moms?
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Old 11-07-02, 11:46 PM   #10
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Well, I'm a teenager, but I remember that I had a similar position when... well, I was teenager. You should think of your and their action in perspective and understand that even if you THINK you are right, it's very likely that you are not. It's normal, I don't know anyone who was (is) never unhappy with some parents' desicions.
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Old 11-08-02, 01:23 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rob Begley
Wow, i feel like an ass of a kid now...
Don't feel like an ass. I was a first class rebel, moved out early, never did as they say. I just made sure to listen when *I* thought they had something good to say. If you aren't rebelious as a teen I would be a little worried.

I did and have done many other things as well (most of which I will not mention on a public board ) . None of which I regret as it made me who I am but they are mistakes which don't always have to be learned through doing the mistakes yourself.

If you listen and respect them (as much as you may not show it) take what they teach you and apply it to life. Hopefully this will allow you to avoid some of the pitfalls of growing up. As long as you learn from mistakes you will be fine. If you make the same mistake several times in your life, you (as in people in general in this context) are generally a dumbass
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Old 11-08-02, 05:54 AM   #12
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I had an oppertunity once to race motorcycles as a pro with sponsorship and all but my main sponsor(who was paying for all travling, gas, tires, entry fees) was my dad's bro and my father told him he better not do it.

Quote:
. But biking is more important than being smart
A smart cyclist in any of the disciplines of cycling is a better one. I do agree that a lot of parents know what they are talking about.
But I disagree with them if it prevents their kid from doing any type of physical sport. I believe they should let you do vert, dj, street, which ever one you want. I know how it sucks when your folks prevent you from doing a sport you love to do. Yes you will get hurt. Probably break some bones and even end up in the emergency room a few times. That is all part of the learning that goes on.
Back to your statement though. A SMART rider will gradually go bigger with the diff tricks which will reduce the chance of injury. A SMART rider will stay with the easy stuff until he can land the tricks every time. A SMART rider will also have enough knowlage that if that one serious accident should ever happen, then he would be able to support himself in other ways other then cycling.

Also, if you think you are good enough to compete at a national level, try a local compition and see what happens and then decide to try to make some money at the sport, while getting at average 2.00 grade at school.
If you are only cycling to have fun then you should concentrate on getting good grades to help you later on in life. Use riding as a way to relax.

Slainte
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Old 11-08-02, 06:30 AM   #13
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Hey Rob,
when i moved away from home .. i thought wow.. i can do anything i want!........errrrrr..um like my own laundry, scrounge for money for food, oh man.. had to cook it too!.. then of course there was the freedom to come home whenever i want.. go wherever i want.. um, but that required a home to come home to..lol and money to do what i wanted..
yes it is normal to feel pressure when you really really want to do something.. and your parents say no..

here i was at school and working nights... i still had fun.. but i began to appreciate what my parents did for me.
and miss them asking me how i was doing.. if things were going well in school, ... all those "I care" words we seem to overlook when we hear them all the time.
i lost my dad last christmas.. i miss his hugs ..
just something for you to remember... "most" parents just want you to grow up healthy and happy.

by the way.. do you have a tattoo?..
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Old 11-08-02, 07:03 AM   #14
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Rob, hey, every situation is different and i only know a little of your side only... but it's pretty natural for kids to think so about their parents... and maybe something like half the time the parents are right...

i had really great understanding and supportive parents (wow was i lucky) but i nonetheless had major disagreements...
* i wanted a motrcycle or moped at 15 and my parents said no. i bought one myself at 19 although my mother wasn't happy about it. -- i rode pretty crazy and dangerous until about age 24 (amayzingly no wrecks despite usually riding double/triple the speed limit) when i then only rode what OTHER people would say was crazy and dangerous... it wasn't so bad to wait 4 years...
* my parents didn't allow me to have a car my freshmen year of college which i thought was dumb, but it was a great thing as i didn't need a car, met more people b/c i was on and around campus more AND re-kindled my love of bicycles that had ended on my 16th birthday when i got a car... wow am i glad i didn't have a car!

on the other hand, i had a chance to go to Alaska for the summer when in was 18 (my dad's friend was a park ranger in Denali) but my dad said no b/c i needed to have a "real" job instead of volunteering for the park service --- i still disagree today and wish i had been able to go...

around 16-18 i thought everything my parent's said was dumb... now i think they're pretty smart and pretty wise and i hope i can do as good a job as they did...

i would say, as hard as it is as a teenager, try and understand what your parents are thinking and (assuming they're loving and caring parents which is usually the case when they don't let you do something) figure out what their concerns are and maybe think about what they might know from life that you don't... then try as unemotional (not "my parents are so gay") and rational as possible to figure out a plan or compromise ---- say they're scared of you getting hurt, well then propose to ride in the park but for 6 months you won't do any big jumps or drops... come up with a plan so you can demostrate that you are responsible and that it's really important to you --- unless your parents have something major against it (say like in my dad's case where his best friend died in a motorcycle crash so my parents were TOTALLY against it) you can probably work towards some kind of a compromise over time...

P.S. i was quite often a jerk to my parents when i was a teenager -- i "hated" my dad for about a year when i was 16/17 b/c i had to be home at 11 on weeknights, 12/12:30 on weekends, got my car taken away all the time b/c i was irresponsible, etc... so don't be too hard on yourself if you've been a jerk to your parents, just try and work and comminicate better with them in the future. if you love biking so much most likely they will let you do what you want in the end (they just want to protect you)

P.P.S i also agree with Maelstrom that rebellion is natural and usually moreso for intelligent/creative/inergetic kids (i now realize i was was just bored and unchallenged by High School). although i was a good student and still a good person at heart i was a major trouble-maker my senior year of high school (even got expelled and then re-admitted after 2 weeks) and did all kinds of crazy stuff and crashed one car at 18 and sunk another in a river also at 18 (wow, sounds like i was spolied, but really it's not as bad as it sounds) ---- i personally think it's better to be rebellious and wild while you're still at home so your parents car watch and help you out when you screw up -- i see some of the worst problems from overprotective parents whose kids are then "free" for the first time when they move out and can't handle the responsibility -- example - a college friend of mine was HS valedictorian and after his 1st year of college had straigt As in engineering at a major university and had a never done anything "bad" like drink alcohol or partying or sex or whatever as his parents had forbidden it all... he got involved with student radio, starting going to social events and eventually ended up drinking and partying for 2 years and made failing grades... he was on probation and then graduated with a lower GPA than mine (3.0)... i did way worse things but in HS where the consequences were lower and people watched me (e.g. my parents found out in November my senior year that i was rarely going to class)

oh woops, didn't mean to write a novel there, but maybe something in here sheds light on your situation...

Last edited by nathank; 11-08-02 at 07:10 AM.
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Old 11-08-02, 07:10 AM   #15
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Hey Rob,
Other than our avatar, we have a lot in common. It's just that my perspective is from looking back on the past while you're looking forward to the future.

As a former hellion, current parent of a teenager I love very much and don't necessarily see eye to eye with and son of some "gay" parents who loved me no matter how poorly I treated them, I can assure you that the parent's you despise so greatly today have your best interest at heart.

If I could go back to my teenage years and cut my parents some slack I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I can't so I do anything I can now to make reparations (not because they consider it due them).

Unfortunately, I don't expect you to believe me because experience is still the best teacher.

Best Wishes.
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Old 11-08-02, 08:53 AM   #16
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Mark Twain said something like:

"When I was 16, I thought my father was the stupidest man on earth. But when I was 21 I was amazed how much that man leaned in 5 years"
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Old 11-08-02, 09:03 AM   #17
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Rob,

I've just finished speaking with your parents and just want you to know they are one step away from sending you to military school.

You think you have it bad now.............

Oh ya, and your Mom thinks the Britney Spears poster does a diservice to Women.
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Old 11-08-02, 09:28 AM   #18
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When I was young I thought my parents were stupid, old-fashioned, crazy, and on rare occasions, right.

Now I am a parent and and am a lot like them.

And some of my children are parents too and they are a lot like me. That's really scary!!
Unfortunately my daughters are a little like my ex. Too bad they have been handicapped by her.

But most of all I miss my parents since both have passed away.
You know what they say - "You don't know what you've got till it's gone".
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Old 11-08-02, 01:57 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by A.troll

So do you have two dads or two moms?
Oh darn! She beat me to it.
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Old 11-08-02, 03:32 PM   #20
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If your parents were gay, then how did you get here? Biological accident?


I'm just gonna havta assume you mean they're 'happy'. I'm glad your parents are happy.
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Old 11-08-02, 04:57 PM   #21
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Respect them and enjoy them while you can. Without them, you would not exist. Here's an abbreviated way of looking at it.....get over it.
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Old 11-08-02, 05:26 PM   #22
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My dad sucks, my mom is cool. If only I had one of those buff athletic dads........that would be great.
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Old 11-09-02, 12:37 AM   #23
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One day, you'll look back at this parent thing and laugh; especially since your parents are gay.
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Old 11-09-02, 12:52 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by RonH
...But most of all I miss my parents since both have passed away.
...
Loosing a parent is very difficult.

Rob, one sees lost parents in dreams often. Even after years.

It can not be described. It hits so hard.

You will regret dearly words and actions, which upset your parents.

If you parents do not allow you to do something, it is because they worry about you.

Try to take different approach, try to take seriously what you plan to do. Make some research on safety techniques of this task and let them know that you do it.

Do something big in small organized manageable steps.

It will inevitably cause more respect from your parents.
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Old 11-09-02, 06:45 PM   #25
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This reminds me of something I read once. It goes something like this.
When a boy is six: He says "My daddy knows everything."
When he is twelve:"my dad doesn't quite know everything"
When he is sixteen:" My old mans a flippin' idiot, he doesn't know anything!"
When he is Twenty five: "Well maybe my dad isn't so stupid after all."
When he is thirty: "I'm not doing anything untill I talk to dad."
And finally, When he is forty: he says, "Oh, if I could only ask my father!"

This may not be exactly how it was written to begin with, but it gets the point across. What you have to realize is that your folks have a good reason for acting the way they do, you just don't understand it yet. One cannot tear down the rules and institutions of the past without stopping first to consider that previous generations had very good reasons for erecting them in the first place.
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