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  1. #26
    Donating member Richard D's Avatar
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    What you swore was a flat stretch of road going, turns out to be a hill returning.

    Richard
    Currently riding an MTB with a split personality - commuting, touring, riding for the sake of riding, on or off road :)

  2. #27
    Senior Member ahuman's Avatar
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    never go far from the bike dressed like that!
    "I Love To Ride My Bicycle, My bicycle"

  3. #28
    Bikeman mtessmer's Avatar
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    The odds of a stop light turning red is directly in proportion to the ammount of momentum you have coming into the intersection.

  4. #29
    Senior Member Jeepbikerun's Avatar
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    The grade of hill your climbing is in direct correlation with the number of diesel trucks that will pass you.
    "Those convinced against their will,
    are of the same opinion still."- unk

  5. #30
    Marathon Cyclist MediaCreations's Avatar
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    When the locals say 'It's fairly flat until the next town' you'd better get ready for some big climbs.

  6. #31
    Life is good RonH's Avatar
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    Jan 2001
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    Between Crystal River and Hernando, Florida, 6 miles west of the Withlacoochee Trail
    My Bikes
    I've had several since 1999 but have settled on my beloved 2001 Litespeed Tuscany and my latest, a 2015 Cannondale Supersix EVO
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    In the winter: the warmer you dress the warmer the actual temperature will be.
    My bikes: 2001 Litespeed Tuscany---2015 Cannondale Supersix EVO carbon

    I thought of that while riding my bicycle -- Albert Einstein

  7. #32
    Breaker of Spokes P. B. Walker's Avatar
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    Showing off (showboating) in front of the ladies makes you 10 times more likely to crash.

  8. #33
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    Even if there is no wind all day, the minute you go out for a ride the wind will pick up to 40k and be in your face the whole way.

    The one day you forget the road rash kit, you'll crash.
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  9. #34
    Veni, Vidi, Vomiti SteveE's Avatar
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    Republic of Anaerobia
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    If you forget your pump, you will have a flat.

    If you are a guy and forget your pump, there will be an attractive female cyclist in need of a pump.
    "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ...'holy *****...what a ride!'"

  10. #35
    It's in my blood Pete Clark's Avatar
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    The guy (or gal) in front of you on that flat-handlebar bike who looks so dorky will drop you like a bad habit.
    Next in line

  11. #36
    We drive on the left. Dutchy's Avatar
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    The one time you need to use a mobile phone to call for help, it will either die half way through the call "I am just near......". Or you will discover the one point on planet earth that has no signal.

    The one day you have to stay back at work and ride home in the dark, you realise that your lights don't have a full charge.

    You pack everything into your bag for the mornings commute except, underwear, or shoes, or a towel, or a shirt! etc.

    Great thread.

    CHEERS.

    Mark
    I'd rather be riding.

  12. #37
    Ride Nekkid! A.troll's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Dutchy
    You pack everything into your bag for the mornings commute except, underwear...
    Who needs underwear???
    So many men....so little time!

  13. #38
    Member LngDistance's Avatar
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    When you are riding in a group and it is a thousand degrees out with the sun beating down, flats always occur nowhere near any shade so you all have to stand there sweating your rear off.
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single pedal.

  14. #39
    Jubalayo Unogwaja! Bokkie's Avatar
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    Your dependency on needing a toilet is proportional to your distance from the nearest one.
    If your bollocks ain't sore, yer ain't on yer boike!

  15. #40
    Don't Believe the Hype RiPHRaPH's Avatar
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    chicagoland area
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    1999 Steelman SR525, 2002 Lightspeed Ultimate, 1988 Trek 830, 2008 Scott Addict
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    your shortest loop is always 15 minutes longer than you have to get your ride in
    I have enough words to get me into trouble, but not enough to get me out of trouble.

  16. #41
    Senior Member
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    The motorist you meet out of the car to argue a point of law with,is always 6inches taller and built like Arnold Schwartznegar.

  17. #42
    Senior Member
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    No matter how careful you are, you will fall down 3 times before you learn how to ride with your new clipless pedals.

    The falls over new clipless pedals happen always when there are many motorists and peds around.

    Waterpoof panniers are waterproof when you cycle around your city, but are not waterproof at all when you are on a long distance tour.

    Rain costume makes you more wet from perspiration, than rain itself would do.

    Hydrogen peroxide dries out from the bottle immediately as a cyclists gets a crash.

    If you put your mobile phone in a pannier, someone will inevitable call you, while you are cycling.

  18. #43
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    If you injure yourself and have to take a few days off, those days will have perfect, ideal weather.

    If you're desperate to 'go' and finally do find a rest stop, it will be totally gross, disgusting and odorous, forcing to to breathe through your mouth the whole time. The chances of it having toilet paper are nil if you forget to bring your own kleenex.
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  19. #44
    Marathon Cyclist MediaCreations's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Alexey
    Waterpoof panniers are waterproof when you cycle around your city, but are not waterproof at all when you are on a long distance tour.
    My panniers are completely waterproof. They fill up with water and not a drop leaks out.

  20. #45
    Are we having fun yet? Prosody's Avatar
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    Originally posted by wabbit
    If you're desperate to 'go' and finally do find a rest stop, it will be totally gross, disgusting and odorous, forcing to to breathe through your mouth the whole time. The chances of it having toilet paper are nil if you forget to bring your own kleenex.
    Would you really rather taste that odor or smell it?
    You're east of East St. Louis
    And the wind is making speeches.

  21. #46
    Bring It! Sailguy's Avatar
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    The colder it gets outside, the less hot water there is in the showers at work.
    Sailing and Cycling make the world go 'round. Quietly Too!

  22. #47
    Nature Worshipper hillyman's Avatar
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    The need list NEVER ENDS!!!!
    In every walk with Nature one receives far more than he seeks. John Muir

  23. #48
    Senior Member
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    If you meticulously clean and polish your bike, rain the next day is inevitable.

    If you chicken out of commuting because it is supposed to rain, it will not. You will kick yourself every time you drive past a cyclist who did not chicken out.

    If you have some crucial part shipped to you FedEx Next Day, it will be shipped 2nd day and the signature waiver will not be specified, causing it to take 3 days.

    If you only have one tire lever with you, it will break when you try to fix a flat.

  24. #49
    Bring It! Sailguy's Avatar
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    When ordering a part from a store, 10-14 days really means 14-21 days. And during those 21 days, you realize how much better life would have been if you just went to another shop and bought it immediately for full price.
    Sailing and Cycling make the world go 'round. Quietly Too!

  25. #50
    I drink your MILKSHAKE Raiyn's Avatar
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    St. Petersburg, FL
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    2003 Specialized Rockhopper FSR Comp, 1999 Specialized Hardrock Comp FS, 1971 Schwinn Varsity
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    Originally posted by MediaCreations

    My panniers are completely waterproof. They fill up with water and not a drop leaks out.
    I always say that about my shoes! I keep an old newspaper at work just to stuff my shoes.

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