Yes, it's true! I'm leaving Sumo wrestling, perhaps for good.
It seems that Sumo wrestling and cycling don't mix after all. After
all these years of cycling to work and other places I needed to go,
I can't keep enough weight on to qualify for a match! Which may be a good thing, because I could get killed! Besides, imagine showing up for a Sumo match with my ribs showing! That would disgrace the whole Sumo wrestling community.
It's really sad, even a little depressing. I can't fit any of my
Sumo thongs anymore. They just fall right off! And my driver's license picture looks like some other person. It's embarrassing
when I write a check and the cashier won't believe that's my picture. Even aside from the picture, my date of birth says, "1959." If that's the right date, where is that 20-year accumulation of "dinner and a movie?" The more I think about it,
the worse it gets.
I'm sorry, I just had to turn somewhere, and you people drew the short straw! Any suggestions? Has this happened to anyone else? I am really getting a little desperate, here!
former Sumo Champ, Cyclist