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Old 06-27-01, 07:33 AM   #1
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Self Defense

Last night was terrible. I was standing helplessly at the gas station putting gas in my parents car,when 3 KK's and a gallon of milk strolled up. They started walking around me in circles and tantalizing me with insults, bad ones too. I just laughed it off,but then they stole my wallet,and when I took it back my money was gone!!!!I said,"gimme back my money" and they siad"heck no boy!!" and started beating me up, so with no other way to defend myself, I ate the KK's and drank the milk. Agh, tragedy,tragedy!!!
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Old 06-27-01, 08:24 AM   #2
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Man, I am sorry to hear that. There are, short of New York, Mass., and Ca.. hand held close quarter weapons you can legaly carry. I would suggest you start thinking of these things. Short of that SWING YOUR BIKE AT THEM! Nothing would hurt worse short of a gun shot, then to be hit up side the head with a bike! You can also request that you train under the resident self defense instructor on base. You should be able to since your father is an officer. Another thing you can do is yell as loud as you can, and act as crazy as possible. Something like holding the gas pump and reaching for a lighter might have worked. Think about it.
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Old 06-27-01, 09:33 AM   #3
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Fubar, I think you may have infringed their constitutional rights. Eating your assailants is simply un-american.
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Old 06-27-01, 10:03 AM   #4
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Fubar, I think you may have infringed their constitutional rights. Eating your assailants is simply un-american.
oops,
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Old 06-27-01, 10:51 AM   #5
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Dang thoes KK's!!
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Old 06-27-01, 10:54 AM   #6
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Dang thoes KK's!!
Dern little pests. They attacked me again this morning.
My mom went grocery shopping this morning, and some twinkies hid in the basket and came home with her, now they are hopping around at my feet while I type this very message!!!!
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Old 06-27-01, 03:37 PM   #7
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Vicious little beasts! And people think they're sweet....
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Old 06-27-01, 04:47 PM   #8
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"AAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

the revenge of the eaten...


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Old 06-27-01, 04:52 PM   #9
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At least it was only 3!!! The last time my wife and I drove by the place, they had the FRESH AND HOT sign on and my wife suggested we get a dozen.
I was riding for two days straight to work that off.

Next time they approach you ride away as fast as you can.
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Old 06-27-01, 05:10 PM   #10
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And rumour has it that Canada will be invaded soon by those pesky devils, as if we didn't have enough of our own already!
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Old 06-27-01, 08:12 PM   #11
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aah, ooh, get away!!! go!!! shoo you stinkers....aaaarhphhh,munch munch..."burp".
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Old 06-28-01, 08:55 AM   #12
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It's a sad state of affairs when a man can't go into a gas station without worrying about being attacked by a bunch of rogue pastry.
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Old 06-28-01, 12:14 PM   #13
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I've had Little Debbie chocolate-peanut bars jump into my grocery cart and lie concealed underneath the broccoli and brown rice and good stuff. At the checkout it would be too embarrassing to say "Put these back!" so I resign myself to paying for them, and to the torture that I know lies ahead...
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Old 06-29-01, 01:36 AM   #14
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So how comes you guys have all the fun...?

I haven't been attacked by a pastry for...ohh, let me think...24 hours...

It hurts man...it hurts...

Rich :thumbup:
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Old 06-29-01, 04:00 AM   #15
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So how comes you guys have all the fun...?

I haven't been attacked by a pastry for...ohh, let me think...24 hours...

It hurts man...it hurts...

Rich :thumbup:
It's a fact that English pastries are less aggressive than their American counterparts.
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Old 06-29-01, 04:03 AM   #16
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I don't know Jon,

There's been a sighting of a group of Cornish Pasties hanging out on the street corner wearing leathers and carrying flick knives...

I certainly wouldn't mess...

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Old 06-29-01, 06:26 AM   #17
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My dear old Norwegian grandmother used to regale us with tales of those nasty Scandinavian breakfast pastries. Especially cunning were the evil skavals which slipped in from Denmark!
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Old 06-29-01, 09:46 AM   #18
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My dear old Norwegian grandmother used to regale us with tales of those nasty Scandinavian breakfast pastries. Especially cunning were the evil skavals which slipped in from Denmark!
Those of us raised on Hans Christian Andersen never heard about that darker side of Nordic life....
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