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Old 03-21-07, 08:21 PM   #1
neurocycler
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Bicycling Magazine

To my delight today I received a package in the mail from Bicycling magazine with the words "Your Free Gift is Enclosed" sprawled across the front. I'm sure most of you can appreciate the excitment that this generated. Not only do I receive Bicycling magazine every month without fail (almost, but that is another story) but the fine folks at Rodale have deemed me worthy of a free gift. Christmas has truly come early this year! I rushed inside immediately, eager to unleash the treasures that awaited inside. This is what I discovered:

1. A catalog for www.welcome2beauty.ca with (and I quote) an offer for a "Pretty Travel Bag"
2. A coupon for free pantyhose
3. A pamphlet for proactiv solution (I thought I might donate this to LSPlo to help with the Sacne)
4. A variety of Grandma's Kitchen paraphernalia, including but not limited to:recipe cards for Black Forest Cake, Nana's Banana Bread and Herb Roast Chicken as well as an insant game piece that will apparently allow me to "Find Out What's Cooking in Grandma's Kitchen" (this one I am a little afraid of)
5. Bicycling Magazines 250 best Cycling Tips (okay they all can't be amusing)
and last but not least
6. Bike Your Way To A Better Body In 30 Days by the editors of Bicycling

There will be a prize for the person who comes up with the most original use for these products (according to Grandma's Kitchen you may have already won)
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Old 03-22-07, 06:00 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neurocycler
To my delight today I received a package in the mail from Bicycling magazine with the words "Your Free Gift is Enclosed" sprawled across the front. I'm sure most of you can appreciate the excitment that this generated. Not only do I receive Bicycling magazine every month without fail (almost, but that is another story) but the fine folks at Rodale have deemed me worthy of a free gift. Christmas has truly come early this year! I rushed inside immediately, eager to unleash the treasures that awaited inside. This is what I discovered:

1. A catalog for www.welcome2beauty.ca with (and I quote) an offer for a "Pretty Travel Bag"
2. A coupon for free pantyhose
Hmm. This is very interesting. Um, have you signed up as a female anywhere, and should I be directing you to inquire about the Women's Forum?

Although, the pantyhose can come in handy for anyone .

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Old 03-22-07, 07:14 AM   #3
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Bicycling magazine sucks.
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Old 03-22-07, 08:48 AM   #4
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I got a similar packet when I signed up for Bicycling, although I got 2 pamphlets. One on bike maintenance tips and one on riding tips. While not original, they at least pulled the most common tips together in one place. The rest of it just went into the recycling bin. I couldn't put any effort into coming up a creative use for the stuff.
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Old 03-22-07, 10:51 AM   #5
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An imaginative cyclist could use the hose in many ways:

1. Wrap around your top tube to protect it when locking the bike to a pole.
2. Slip the legs over your bars to provide a bug shield when driving your bike around on a car rack.
3. Hang them on the wall and stuff spare tubes in the legs. Road tubes in one, MTB tubes in the other.
4. Poor man's base layer (under the tights, please!)
5. Ball it up to use as a gentle scrubber to clean road tar off the frame.
6. Tie around the rim as emergency rim tape.

I'm sure there are many other possibilities...
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Old 03-22-07, 12:35 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neurocycler
There will be a prize for the person who comes up with the most original use for these products (according to Grandma's Kitchen you may have already won)
Next time you get unsolicited junk mail that includes a "No Postage Necessary" return envelope, stuff all that crap from Bicycling Magazine in the envelope and send it on.
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Old 03-22-07, 01:31 PM   #7
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Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
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Old 03-22-07, 02:32 PM   #8
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Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
I just spit milk out of my nose
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Old 03-22-07, 02:45 PM   #9
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Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
And there's an upcoming trip... thus the pretty travel bag!

So they think the reader is an old pimply faced grandma who likes to cook, and needs to get in shape fast because of the impending trip. Maybe it is a reunion.
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Old 03-22-07, 03:32 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by slowandsteady
Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
Yes, although I'm only 31 and my penis dictates it's unlikely I'm a grandma.
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Old 03-22-07, 11:29 PM   #11
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So, are you going to share those recipes or not ?

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Old 03-23-07, 01:29 PM   #12
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So, are you going to share those recipes or not ?

East Hill
Sure, but since it's MY free gift, I'll only share one. Your choice, Herb Roast Chicken, Nana's Banana Bread or Black Forest Cake. Should this be a poll?
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Old 03-23-07, 02:28 PM   #13
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Good question! I'm voting for the Herb Roast Chicken then.

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Old 03-23-07, 05:11 PM   #14
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I'm seconding the Herb Roast Chicken.
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Old 03-25-07, 12:37 PM   #15
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Sounds like they want you to rob from Ma and Pa's kitchen with the pantyhose over your face. The pretty travel bag to put all of nana's nana nut bread in. 250 tips to get the hell out of their the quickest on a bike.
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