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  1. #1
    Me Likey Bikey neurocycler's Avatar
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    Bicycling Magazine

    To my delight today I received a package in the mail from Bicycling magazine with the words "Your Free Gift is Enclosed" sprawled across the front. I'm sure most of you can appreciate the excitment that this generated. Not only do I receive Bicycling magazine every month without fail (almost, but that is another story) but the fine folks at Rodale have deemed me worthy of a free gift. Christmas has truly come early this year! I rushed inside immediately, eager to unleash the treasures that awaited inside. This is what I discovered:

    1. A catalog for www.welcome2beauty.ca with (and I quote) an offer for a "Pretty Travel Bag"
    2. A coupon for free pantyhose
    3. A pamphlet for proactiv solution (I thought I might donate this to LSPlo to help with the Sacne)
    4. A variety of Grandma's Kitchen paraphernalia, including but not limited to:recipe cards for Black Forest Cake, Nana's Banana Bread and Herb Roast Chicken as well as an insant game piece that will apparently allow me to "Find Out What's Cooking in Grandma's Kitchen" (this one I am a little afraid of)
    5. Bicycling Magazines 250 best Cycling Tips (okay they all can't be amusing)
    and last but not least
    6. Bike Your Way To A Better Body In 30 Days by the editors of Bicycling

    There will be a prize for the person who comes up with the most original use for these products (according to Grandma's Kitchen you may have already won)
    "Suffering you need; literature is baloney."
    - Tim Krabbé

  2. #2
    Lanky Lass East Hill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neurocycler
    To my delight today I received a package in the mail from Bicycling magazine with the words "Your Free Gift is Enclosed" sprawled across the front. I'm sure most of you can appreciate the excitment that this generated. Not only do I receive Bicycling magazine every month without fail (almost, but that is another story) but the fine folks at Rodale have deemed me worthy of a free gift. Christmas has truly come early this year! I rushed inside immediately, eager to unleash the treasures that awaited inside. This is what I discovered:

    1. A catalog for www.welcome2beauty.ca with (and I quote) an offer for a "Pretty Travel Bag"
    2. A coupon for free pantyhose
    Hmm. This is very interesting. Um, have you signed up as a female anywhere, and should I be directing you to inquire about the Women's Forum?

    Although, the pantyhose can come in handy for anyone .

    East Hill
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    TRY EMPATHY & HAVE LOVE IN YOUR HEART, PERHAPS I'LL SEE YOU ON THE ROAD...

  3. #3
    Senior Member DieselDan's Avatar
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    Bicycling magazine sucks.
    Bikes use brakes to stop.

    If your bike has breaks, don't ride it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    I got a similar packet when I signed up for Bicycling, although I got 2 pamphlets. One on bike maintenance tips and one on riding tips. While not original, they at least pulled the most common tips together in one place. The rest of it just went into the recycling bin. I couldn't put any effort into coming up a creative use for the stuff.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the hills and winds I cannot change;
    courage to challenge the cagers I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
    (with apologies to AA)
    24 mi. roundtrip -- Maryland suburbs to DC and back.

  5. #5
    You need a new bike supcom's Avatar
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    An imaginative cyclist could use the hose in many ways:

    1. Wrap around your top tube to protect it when locking the bike to a pole.
    2. Slip the legs over your bars to provide a bug shield when driving your bike around on a car rack.
    3. Hang them on the wall and stuff spare tubes in the legs. Road tubes in one, MTB tubes in the other.
    4. Poor man's base layer (under the tights, please!)
    5. Ball it up to use as a gentle scrubber to clean road tar off the frame.
    6. Tie around the rim as emergency rim tape.

    I'm sure there are many other possibilities...

  6. #6
    your god hates me Bob Ross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neurocycler
    There will be a prize for the person who comes up with the most original use for these products (according to Grandma's Kitchen you may have already won)
    Next time you get unsolicited junk mail that includes a "No Postage Necessary" return envelope, stuff all that crap from Bicycling Magazine in the envelope and send it on.

  7. #7
    Faster but still slow slowandsteady's Avatar
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    Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
    "Ride lots." -- Eddy Merckx

  8. #8
    barkin' at the moon doglhunt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowandsteady
    Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
    I just spit milk out of my nose
    .....Mr. Peabody's coal train has hauled it away

  9. #9
    The Improbable Bulk Little Darwin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowandsteady
    Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
    And there's an upcoming trip... thus the pretty travel bag!

    So they think the reader is an old pimply faced grandma who likes to cook, and needs to get in shape fast because of the impending trip. Maybe it is a reunion.
    Slow Ride Cyclists of NEPA

    People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  10. #10
    Me Likey Bikey neurocycler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowandsteady
    Wow, so they think you are an old, pimply faced, grandma who likes to cook and needs to get in shape fast.
    Yes, although I'm only 31 and my penis dictates it's unlikely I'm a grandma.
    "Suffering you need; literature is baloney."
    - Tim Krabbé

  11. #11
    Lanky Lass East Hill's Avatar
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    So, are you going to share those recipes or not ?

    East Hill
    ___________________________________________________
    TRY EMPATHY & HAVE LOVE IN YOUR HEART, PERHAPS I'LL SEE YOU ON THE ROAD...

  12. #12
    Me Likey Bikey neurocycler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by East Hill
    So, are you going to share those recipes or not ?

    East Hill
    Sure, but since it's MY free gift, I'll only share one. Your choice, Herb Roast Chicken, Nana's Banana Bread or Black Forest Cake. Should this be a poll?
    "Suffering you need; literature is baloney."
    - Tim Krabbé

  13. #13
    Lanky Lass East Hill's Avatar
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    Good question! I'm voting for the Herb Roast Chicken then.

    East Hill
    ___________________________________________________
    TRY EMPATHY & HAVE LOVE IN YOUR HEART, PERHAPS I'LL SEE YOU ON THE ROAD...

  14. #14
    Senior Member dagna's Avatar
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    I'm seconding the Herb Roast Chicken.

  15. #15
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    Sounds like they want you to rob from Ma and Pa's kitchen with the pantyhose over your face. The pretty travel bag to put all of nana's nana nut bread in. 250 tips to get the hell out of their the quickest on a bike.

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