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Old 05-10-07, 01:03 PM   #1
viros20
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riding with your S/O

me and my girlfriend just got bikes, ive got a cannondale bad boy and she a trek 7.3fx

when we go on bike paths to ride together, she is incredibly slow.. the bike seems to make her nervous, either way its so slow that i get so bored that i jsut ride ahead then wait after a few miles to make sure shes alright.. is that mean of me?

she tends to get mad at me about it.

anything you guys do different in that situation thanks
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Old 05-10-07, 01:06 PM   #2
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Nah. Just keep doing what you're doing now. Pretty soon you won't have a girlfriend. Problem solved.
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Old 05-10-07, 01:07 PM   #3
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If you want to ride fast, don't ride with her. If you want to spend time with her, don't ride fast.

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Old 05-10-07, 01:08 PM   #4
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If you are going to go on a ride with her, then stay with her. Either be prepared to deal with being bored or ride without her. I usually plan rides with my wife ahead of time. If I know we are riding together on Tuesday, then I do a hard ride on Monday.
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Old 05-10-07, 01:19 PM   #5
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The answer is pretty obvious. She doesn't like it. So what's the point of doing something together when one of two people isn't enjoying it? If you go with her, ride with her speed. Ride fast when you're by yourself.
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Old 05-10-07, 01:20 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Torgrot
If you want to ride fast, don't ride with her. If you want to spend time with her, don't ride fast.
Yup.
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Old 05-10-07, 01:31 PM   #7
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I had the same problem with my (then) 14 year old daughter. Solved the problem by buying us a pair of used Cruisers, now we're both slow but we laugh a lot and we have fun. $60 each on Craigslist.

When I want speed I bike alone.
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Old 05-10-07, 01:36 PM   #8
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My wife and I solved that problem by going with a tandem. Works really well for us and is a lot of fun. She's getting stronger all the time and I still get one helluva workout by putting in the effort I want while she can do the same and we still stay together. We actually have conversations and talk now on our rides.

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Old 05-10-07, 02:10 PM   #9
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If you want to ride with her, here are a couple of suggestions (since leaving her in the dust and then waiting for her will only incur her wrath).
1) Make sure her bike is set up right so she is getting the most out of each pedal stroke and so that riding is as comfortable as possible. Obviously she has a good bike so it should be possible to get a good fit.
2) Shift to a ridiculously low gear and practice spinning as you ride along at a slow pace that matches hers. Use the time to talk.
3) Shift to a ridiculously high gear and pedal slowly. This will not do much for you, but will make your cadence look more like your SO's which can be good. Again use the time to talk with her.
4) Tow a trailer loaded down with 30-40# of stuff. That should give you a handicap and make things more even. Need I say it -- use the time for conversations.
5) Depending upon her attitude and schedule you could go out early for a fast ride and then pick her up for a slower ride. It could serve as your cooldown ride and would burn off some of your "need for speed."
6) Depending upon her attitude (and yours) you might be able to tactfully offer suggestions and tips that will help her ride faster.
7) Remember to keep it fun -- take her out for breakfast, lunch or dinner on your ride, make part of the load you are carrying a picnic or whatever -- if you really want to keep her as a ride partner.
Good luck
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Old 05-10-07, 02:31 PM   #10
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I am an experienced rider and I ride with some other riders on a regular basis. Except there is one rider that you do not ride with. He is always out in front going for it all the time. Not my type of riding whatsoever. If he is the only other rider that wants to ride on a particular day- Then I don't ride. I will not ride with him. I go later in the day and enjoy MY ride.

If you want to put the GF off riding- carry on as you are. She will give up riding fairly shortly- Or she will find another BF that is more understanding.
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Old 05-10-07, 02:36 PM   #11
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I often ride with my wife, and she knows I'm twice her speed. Most of the time I just relax and spin away, but when she knows the route or path I'll do lots of sprints a mile out ahead of her, turn around and catch her and ride slowly to recover. Viola - instant intervals!

Sometimes when she wants to work on her speed I'll set a "pace" for her that she has to keep. Good training for her as well.

But I'd never do this with a new cyclist. It's rude. What's your girlfriend look like - maybe I can help her out a little?
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Old 05-10-07, 02:38 PM   #12
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give her a schweet road bike to roll with (check)

you must ride a singe speed mountain bike with knobby tires inflated to 22psi. that should help even the playing field.
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Old 05-10-07, 03:23 PM   #13
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I seem to have acquired an entourage when I ride on the weekend. My wife, kids, and some neighbors usually go with us. Since there's probably two fast ones out of the bunch, and that includes myself, we have taken to loading up the truck with everyone else's bikes first. Then me and the other fast neighbor take off from the house and ride to where the bike paths are. My wife and the other group drive over, and we meet them there, unload and everyone takes a nice leisurely ride down the path. Depending on how we feel, me and el speedy either load up with everyone else, or we jump on and crank back to the house. Everyone stays happy, and no one gets dropped.
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Old 05-10-07, 03:48 PM   #14
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I tow our boys to give me a handycap. Together with their stuff, I'm pulling almost 100 pounds. It makes it easier for wifey to keep up.
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Old 05-10-07, 03:48 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylandnewbie
If you want to ride with her, here are a couple of suggestions (since leaving her in the dust and then waiting for her will only incur her wrath).
1) Make sure her bike is set up right so she is getting the most out of each pedal stroke and so that riding is as comfortable as possible. Obviously she has a good bike so it should be possible to get a good fit.
2) Shift to a ridiculously low gear and practice spinning as you ride along at a slow pace that matches hers. Use the time to talk.
3) Shift to a ridiculously high gear and pedal slowly. This will not do much for you, but will make your cadence look more like your SO's which can be good. Again use the time to talk with her.
4) Tow a trailer loaded down with 30-40# of stuff. That should give you a handicap and make things more even. Need I say it -- use the time for conversations.
5) Depending upon her attitude and schedule you could go out early for a fast ride and then pick her up for a slower ride. It could serve as your cooldown ride and would burn off some of your "need for speed."
6) Depending upon her attitude (and yours) you might be able to tactfully offer suggestions and tips that will help her ride faster.
7) Remember to keep it fun -- take her out for breakfast, lunch or dinner on your ride, make part of the load you are carrying a picnic or whatever -- if you really want to keep her as a ride partner.
Good luck


those are all real good suggestions, thanks..

but heres a couple of issues shes having

she wont talk while riding she needs complete focus cause shes new to this and riding a bicycle apparently makes her nervous

when i ride side by side she doesnt listen to much of the advice i say and i seem to annoy her, which gets me frustrated so i just end up keeping my mouth shut

she has her seat too low she is tall and is scarred to lift it up higher, she has over 60 miles on it already and is still scared to higher it and i keep telling her its not good to keep it so low.


i also have very little patience which doesnt help much,

i tend to get really upset since at times it appears she isnt putting any effort to ride at at least 10mph,

ive gotten into many arguments about this and ill admit im feeling a bit bad now for being so tough on her.
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Old 05-10-07, 03:50 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by caloso
Nah. Just keep doing what you're doing now. Pretty soon you won't have a girlfriend. Problem solved.
Ha ha!!! Damn, that's the 3rd time a post has made me laugh out loud today!


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Old 05-10-07, 03:55 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by viros20
anything you guys do different in that situation thanks
Buy (or convert) a bike that makes you work MUCH harder than she over the same terrain. A Single speed or fixie with a BIG gear may do the trick. Good luck, and try to work with her. A good partner that also rides is difficult to find. Work it out!

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Old 05-10-07, 04:05 PM   #18
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ill admit im feeling a bit bad now for being so tough on her.
Good!

That means you are probably riding with the right person, and the wrong attitude. The attitude can be changed, and you have expressed the desire to do that...

When you are with your S/O don't think of it as riding a bike, think of it as a journey with her, that just happens to be on a bike... Maybe some day it will turn into a faster ride, but for now, enjoy it for what it is.

If you find yourself correcting her style/position etc too often, try to stick to one suggestion per ride. Something I struggle with, but try to remember is that I should be more interested in improving/correcting myself than in improving/correcting others.
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Old 05-10-07, 04:11 PM   #19
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I'm going through some growing pains with my g/f as well--i.e. she will dismount and walk across intersections. It's kinda frustrating, but I have to remind myself that at least she's out on the bike, whereas she could be at home.

Sounds like you need to let her feel in control: Let her pick the route, the distance. Talk to her about proper fitting and the physical damage she could do to her knees if she doesn't. Spend some time riding in circles in a parking lot. Help her clean her bike. By all means, do NOT bark at her during the rides. She'll put the two together and you won't be riding with her much longer.

Is this her first bike EVER?

Patience, and gentle persuasion. Taking a hard line will ruin it for the both of you.

edit: OH! Whose idea was it to get bikes? Your's? Hers? Both? Are you sure she even wants to be on the bike?
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Old 05-10-07, 04:31 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superdex
I'm going through some growing pains with my g/f as well--i.e. she will dismount and walk across intersections. It's kinda frustrating, but I have to remind myself that at least she's out on the bike, whereas she could be at home.

Sounds like you need to let her feel in control: Let her pick the route, the distance. Talk to her about proper fitting and the physical damage she could do to her knees if she doesn't. Spend some time riding in circles in a parking lot. Help her clean her bike. By all means, do NOT bark at her during the rides. She'll put the two together and you won't be riding with her much longer.

Is this her first bike EVER?

Patience, and gentle persuasion. Taking a hard line will ruin it for the both of you.

edit: OH! Whose idea was it to get bikes? Your's? Hers? Both? Are you sure she even wants to be on the bike?

yeah this is her first bike since being a child

shes also very paranoid. shes 28 and is doesnt even own a car since she claims she was in a bad car accident and driving scares her.

i told her i was buying a bicycle , then managed talking her into getting one too.
she seemed somewhat enthuiastic about it since when i told her i was going to buy it she let me buy hers and told me she would pay me back.

the way i was looking at it, say if we jog at the park shes real thin and 100 lbs lighter than me so i cant keep up with her, but i wont get mad if she goes ahead without me.
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Old 05-10-07, 04:48 PM   #21
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When I'm riding with my wife, that's what I'm doing. She sets the pace, I follow her. It may take as many as, oh, maybe 85 or 90 or 100 miles for her to have near the confidence with some things you take for granted. (I hope you're on dedicated bike paths, for example. . .after 35+ years riding in heavy traffic I still don't like it when a semi or a bus passes too close at 50 mph.) Never mind strength or stamina.

Not to be glib, but this isn't how you approach your love life. . .is it? Try THAT as your attitudinal starting point. She's only done. . .how many miles? That's equivalent to being a virg, uh, you get the idea...
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Old 05-10-07, 04:54 PM   #22
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To answer your question seriously, my suggestion is to ride hard before going out with your g.f. Make it your recovery ride. If it's still hard to go slow, spin a ridiculously low gear.
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Old 05-10-07, 06:21 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by viros20
she claims she was in a bad car accident
By any chance: are you an attorney? What a choice of words...

Perhaps she doesn't want any advice; or from you; or doesn't understand the point you're trying to make; maybe is doing this to be able to share an experience with you but not so sure it's fun; or is simply too busy trying to handle the situation to be able to incorporate your suggestions in real time.
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Old 05-10-07, 06:47 PM   #24
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At first I thought she was just out of shape, but it appears that she is a runner and is not against exercise, she just doesn't like cycling.

The whole cycling thing seems to be your idea.

Give it up. Tell her that when she is ready to ride, just let you know. My bet would be you will be waiting for the invitation a very long time.

Assuming that you want to keep her as a girlfriend (you do, don't you????), find other interest that you can share.
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Old 05-10-07, 06:47 PM   #25
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By any chance: are you an attorney? What a choice of words...

Perhaps she doesn't want any advice; or from you; or doesn't understand the point you're trying to make; maybe is doing this to be able to share an experience with you but not so sure it's fun; or is simply too busy trying to handle the situation to be able to incorporate your suggestions in real time.


who are you? Dr Phil?

id expect that type of response from a woman

no im not an attorney
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