Join Date: Jan 2001
Bikes: Specialized Stumpie, Bianchi Pista, Optima Baron
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The Top Nine Reasons Not To Start Bicycling
... For every minute you bike, you may add one minute to your life but this only enables you at 85 years of age to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
... Your grandmother started biking five miles a day when she was 60 and now that she's 97 years old the family doesn't know where she is.
... The only reason you would is to hear heavy breathing again.
... Although you bought a sleek $4000 racing bike last year to get in shape, you haven't lost a pound because apparently you have to ride the darn thing!
... You could only do it early in the morning before your brain figured out what you were doing.
... The only long bike rides you like are the ones taken by people who annoy you.
... The advantage of bicycling every day is that you die healthier.
... If you are going to try cross-country biking, start with a small country.
And last but not least:
... It makes the ice jump right out of your glass.
Okay, guys, come up with better ones. If we reach ten, we'll send it to Letterman.
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all.