Bike Forums

Bike Forums (http://www.bikeforums.net/forum.php)
-   General Cycling Discussion (http://www.bikeforums.net/general-cycling-discussion/)
-   -   Even cycling makes me sad.. (http://www.bikeforums.net/general-cycling-discussion/423344-even-cycling-makes-me-sad.html)

ShadowGray 05-28-08 04:24 PM

Even cycling makes me sad..
 
Girlfriend (of 2 years) left for another guy.

Cycling only gives me time to think...

Harry Stone 05-28-08 06:25 PM

Just remember no matter how bad you feel, the other guy will probably feel just as bad pretty soon.

TXChick 05-28-08 06:40 PM

Sorry dude. It will get better, it will just take some time.

ShadowGray 05-28-08 06:44 PM

Yeah... just... shocking... biking isn't fun anymore!

TXChick 05-28-08 06:46 PM

It will be. Unless your ex is somehow attached to your bike. :eek:

Seriously...maybe try some new routes? Or bike at different times of day.

jaxgtr 05-28-08 07:21 PM

Better she does it now than 5 years down the road when your potentially married.

Cardiac Paul 05-28-08 09:38 PM

She did'nt take your bike did she? Keep your head straight, biking is still fun, your sex life isn't- for now!

ATAC49er 05-28-08 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShadowGray (Post 6776003)
Girlfriend (of 2 years) left for another guy.

Cycling only gives me time to think...

Coupla things here, dude....

1.) I'm twice divorced, and better off. First wife left me for another man, now he has to put up with her. Second wife left me for God. Go figure. I have a daughter that I love dearly, and 2 bike, which I love only slightly less....She rides, too, and this makes it MORE fun. But the only place I feel 'at home' is in the saddle.

2.) If you have more time to think about your emotional pain, you're not riding hard enough!

RubenX 05-28-08 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ATAC49er (Post 6777879)
Coupla things here, dude....

1.) I'm twice divorced, and better off. First wife left me for another man, now he has to put up with her. Second wife left me for God. Go figure. I have a daughter that I love dearly, and 2 bike, which I love only slightly less....She rides, too, and this makes it MORE fun. But the only place I feel 'at home' is in the saddle.

2.) If you have more time to think about your emotional pain, you're not riding hard enough!

This guy speaks truth. I also had 2 divorces and a lot of other even more painful stuff. Keeping the cardio-rate high helped a lot. That and of course, the universal remedy: time.

wabbit 05-29-08 12:50 AM

oh that sucks....but you have your bike and it will never leave you! even if you leave it for a while...you'll get the love back, and it's unconditional!!!

ShadowGray 05-29-08 12:53 AM

Wow... 2 divorces... I can only begin to imagine...

I know my bike loves me unconditionally... but the time on the bike still doesn't help. I've been working myself at 2x... but I'm too numb to care about my legs..

On the other hand, I am riding faster now :D

OldRoadGuy 05-29-08 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RubenX (Post 6778028)
This guy speaks truth. I also had 2 divorces and a lot of other even more painful stuff. Keeping the cardio-rate high helped a lot. That and of course, the universal remedy: time.

I'm part of the same club too ^^^^^^

It'll get better. She obviously wasn't the "one". Probably best to keep the mind and
body busy even if just going through the motions for now. Down the road you'll be
better for the effort.

cyclezealot 05-29-08 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShadowGray (Post 6776003)
Girlfriend (of 2 years) left for another guy.

Cycling only gives me time to think...

1. work on enhancing those endorphins. 2. Time to think is not a necessarily a bad thing. That is time needed in order to move on. As long as you try to avoid getting all morbid about it. 3. Don't stay home. Alcohol really increases the odds of getting morbid. When out biking you are with like minded people and you might meet someone. Meeting someone will really speed up the moving on process.

jecjec81 05-29-08 03:04 AM

That's normal dude. Just move on. There are a lot of good things being a single.

SourDieseL 05-29-08 09:33 AM

Similar boat here and probably the reason why I joined this forum (yes I'm new). Anyways compared to some above, I might come off irrelevant. Recently broke up with GF of 7 years, neared marriage and just short of moving in together. Both successful young professionals living and owning property in manhattan. Great base to start the next part of life on, unfortunately things went sour. I decided to take up biking since I've done some trail riding on a MTB early last year. Now I'm a roadie and all I do is train to begin to do something for myself. Avid fitness freak here so I've buried myself in biking, running, and the gym. As said, if you are thinking while biking, chances are you might want to train a bit harder, focus down on yourself and areas of improvement, and give the emotional side some time to recoup. I'm going on 1.5 months from my break up and still a bit sour over the whole ordeal so I spoiled myself with a bianchi C2C ;)

Paul L. 05-29-08 10:45 AM

Not divorced. Am Bipolar. Depression and emotional Pain are a naturally occurring cycle for me. Sitting still will make it worse. Losing your fitness will make it worse. Losing those endorphins will also make it worse. Go find some hills to slam and turn the fast paced music up and beat the hill to death. Time heals all wounds and wounds all heals. The first bit is the hardest though.

radshark 05-29-08 11:18 AM

hmmm - my crystal ball says in a few years you will look back and realize you faired better than her. By then you will have moved on and found someone just as interested in planning a future together as you are - she will be off looking around for her next target and ditching whoever is her current target. I've lived long enough to witness this a number of times.

It's easier said then done but don't let someone else determine how happy you are. Spend time on yourself - do the things you like to do and maybe try a few new ones to shake things up a bit.

It gets better from here...

-R.

st0ut 05-29-08 12:06 PM

Find a local group ride and met next cycling chick.

atomship47 05-29-08 12:35 PM

i'm in a bit of a "down" place myself lately so i guess i can empathize.



better days....

nelson249 05-30-08 08:27 AM

That sucks, man. I find it hard to ride when I am feeling down. I have to force myself to go out and do it or else I will feel even worse if I don't. Having a set aside riding time helps me break the blahs.

Elkhound 05-30-08 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelson249 (Post 6786304)
That sucks, man. I find it hard to ride when I am feeling down. I have to force myself to go out and do it or else I will feel even worse if I don't. Having a set aside riding time helps me break the blahs.

One of the advantages of being car-free is that you ride, want to or not.

As for the girlfriend---

Quote:

The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community. ~Ann Strong
Mutatis mutandis, what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

SR_ 05-30-08 12:43 PM

Take your anger/depression out on the road! -- you'll be unbeatable, ;) and it really helps get over some of the pain.

In any case, though, I'm sorry. You'll get over it eventually, it just takes a little bit of down time.

spinnaker 05-30-08 12:54 PM

Get over it. Your better off. Now there is no one around telling you what you can't do. It's your own time now. Being single can suck but it has a lot of advantages too. I'd wouldn't trade my life, for any money, with 90% of my buddies lives that have a so called life with an SO. They live a miserable existence and most of them are too brain washed to realize it. :)

leob1 05-30-08 01:45 PM

It happens to us all, remember this:
Girls are like busses, they come along on a regular schedule. You get off one, stand at the corner, another will be along soon, you get on and enjoy the ride.
Trust me on this, There is another one aimed right at you, enjoy the down time.

Billy Bones 05-30-08 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXChick (Post 6776684)
. . . It will get better, it will just take some time.

We all have different experiences. I'll tell you that I still get the occasional "pang" from a breakup some 39 years ago*. Yes, we either get better (as in smarter and tougher and more realistic) or we walk into the same chainsaw again and again. Shadow, you're at a cross roads here. The advice about cycling harder is spot-on as long you you don't go all "hermit" on us: bad mo-jo there.

* - I see her about every decade or so and swipe my brow and go "Whew, there's another bullet I ducked!". She turned to flab and defines "frumpiness". It was the Viet Nam era and she dumped me for a guy who three weeks later was caught trying to torch an Army Recruiting Office. He soon thereafter became a guest of the US government for some years; good lookin' fella' tho', gottasay.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:03 PM.