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  1. #1
    I like my car ShadowGray's Avatar
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    Even cycling makes me sad..

    Girlfriend (of 2 years) left for another guy.

    Cycling only gives me time to think...
    Last edited by ShadowGray; 05-28-08 at 07:43 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Drexel University 2012
    Electrical Engineering

  2. #2
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    Just remember no matter how bad you feel, the other guy will probably feel just as bad pretty soon.

  3. #3
    Almost Middle-Aged Member TXChick's Avatar
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    Sorry dude. It will get better, it will just take some time.

  4. #4
    I like my car ShadowGray's Avatar
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    Yeah... just... shocking... biking isn't fun anymore!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Drexel University 2012
    Electrical Engineering

  5. #5
    Almost Middle-Aged Member TXChick's Avatar
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    It will be. Unless your ex is somehow attached to your bike.

    Seriously...maybe try some new routes? Or bike at different times of day.

  6. #6
    Senior Member jaxgtr's Avatar
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    Better she does it now than 5 years down the road when your potentially married.
    Brian | 2015 Cannondale Synapse Carbon 3 | 2014 Trek CrossRip Comp
    Quote Originally Posted by AEO View Post
    you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way.

  7. #7
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    She did'nt take your bike did she? Keep your head straight, biking is still fun, your sex life isn't- for now!
    It's not the destination, It's about the RIDE!!!!

  8. #8
    Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowGray View Post
    Girlfriend (of 2 years) left for another guy.

    Cycling only gives me time to think...
    Coupla things here, dude....

    1.) I'm twice divorced, and better off. First wife left me for another man, now he has to put up with her. Second wife left me for God. Go figure. I have a daughter that I love dearly, and 2 bike, which I love only slightly less....She rides, too, and this makes it MORE fun. But the only place I feel 'at home' is in the saddle.

    2.) If you have more time to think about your emotional pain, you're not riding hard enough!

  9. #9
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ATAC49er View Post
    Coupla things here, dude....

    1.) I'm twice divorced, and better off. First wife left me for another man, now he has to put up with her. Second wife left me for God. Go figure. I have a daughter that I love dearly, and 2 bike, which I love only slightly less....She rides, too, and this makes it MORE fun. But the only place I feel 'at home' is in the saddle.

    2.) If you have more time to think about your emotional pain, you're not riding hard enough!
    This guy speaks truth. I also had 2 divorces and a lot of other even more painful stuff. Keeping the cardio-rate high helped a lot. That and of course, the universal remedy: time.

  10. #10
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    oh that sucks....but you have your bike and it will never leave you! even if you leave it for a while...you'll get the love back, and it's unconditional!!!
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  11. #11
    I like my car ShadowGray's Avatar
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    Wow... 2 divorces... I can only begin to imagine...

    I know my bike loves me unconditionally... but the time on the bike still doesn't help. I've been working myself at 2x... but I'm too numb to care about my legs..

    On the other hand, I am riding faster now
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Drexel University 2012
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  12. #12
    Lookin' Forward to Summer OldRoadGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    This guy speaks truth. I also had 2 divorces and a lot of other even more painful stuff. Keeping the cardio-rate high helped a lot. That and of course, the universal remedy: time.
    I'm part of the same club too ^^^^^^

    It'll get better. She obviously wasn't the "one". Probably best to keep the mind and
    body busy even if just going through the motions for now. Down the road you'll be
    better for the effort.
    Quote Originally Posted by substructure View Post
    If I wanted true friends I wouldn't eat my spaghetti with a fork. I'm not sure what that means but you get the jest of it. Or not.

  13. #13
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowGray View Post
    Girlfriend (of 2 years) left for another guy.

    Cycling only gives me time to think...
    1. work on enhancing those endorphins. 2. Time to think is not a necessarily a bad thing. That is time needed in order to move on. As long as you try to avoid getting all morbid about it. 3. Don't stay home. Alcohol really increases the odds of getting morbid. When out biking you are with like minded people and you might meet someone. Meeting someone will really speed up the moving on process.
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  14. #14
    Senior Member jecjec81's Avatar
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    That's normal dude. Just move on. There are a lot of good things being a single.

  15. #15
    been around the block SourDieseL's Avatar
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    Similar boat here and probably the reason why I joined this forum (yes I'm new). Anyways compared to some above, I might come off irrelevant. Recently broke up with GF of 7 years, neared marriage and just short of moving in together. Both successful young professionals living and owning property in manhattan. Great base to start the next part of life on, unfortunately things went sour. I decided to take up biking since I've done some trail riding on a MTB early last year. Now I'm a roadie and all I do is train to begin to do something for myself. Avid fitness freak here so I've buried myself in biking, running, and the gym. As said, if you are thinking while biking, chances are you might want to train a bit harder, focus down on yourself and areas of improvement, and give the emotional side some time to recoup. I'm going on 1.5 months from my break up and still a bit sour over the whole ordeal so I spoiled myself with a bianchi C2C

  16. #16
    Senior Member Paul L.'s Avatar
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    Not divorced. Am Bipolar. Depression and emotional Pain are a naturally occurring cycle for me. Sitting still will make it worse. Losing your fitness will make it worse. Losing those endorphins will also make it worse. Go find some hills to slam and turn the fast paced music up and beat the hill to death. Time heals all wounds and wounds all heals. The first bit is the hardest though.
    Sunrise saturday,
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    lost in the moment.

  17. #17
    Psycholist radshark's Avatar
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    hmmm - my crystal ball says in a few years you will look back and realize you faired better than her. By then you will have moved on and found someone just as interested in planning a future together as you are - she will be off looking around for her next target and ditching whoever is her current target. I've lived long enough to witness this a number of times.

    It's easier said then done but don't let someone else determine how happy you are. Spend time on yourself - do the things you like to do and maybe try a few new ones to shake things up a bit.

    It gets better from here...

    -R.

  18. #18
    Senior Member st0ut's Avatar
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    Find a local group ride and met next cycling chick.
    Cars make you weak.

  19. #19
    the actual el guapo atomship47's Avatar
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    i'm in a bit of a "down" place myself lately so i guess i can empathize.



    better days....
    Compatibility:

    Your exact opposite is the Televangelist.

    Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Smartass, and the Sociopath.

  20. #20
    "Per Ardua ad Surly" nelson249's Avatar
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    That sucks, man. I find it hard to ride when I am feeling down. I have to force myself to go out and do it or else I will feel even worse if I don't. Having a set aside riding time helps me break the blahs.
    1997 Mongoose Hilltopper, 1988 Bianchi Specialissima, 2006 Surly Cross-Check, 2010 Norco City Glide, 1947 CCM Single-speed.

    "Take him to the forge and show him the instruments"
    Bernardo Gui, Inquisitor The Name of the Rose

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelson249 View Post
    That sucks, man. I find it hard to ride when I am feeling down. I have to force myself to go out and do it or else I will feel even worse if I don't. Having a set aside riding time helps me break the blahs.
    One of the advantages of being car-free is that you ride, want to or not.

    As for the girlfriend---

    The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community. ~Ann Strong
    Mutatis mutandis, what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

  22. #22
    SR_
    SR_ is offline
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    Take your anger/depression out on the road! -- you'll be unbeatable, and it really helps get over some of the pain.

    In any case, though, I'm sorry. You'll get over it eventually, it just takes a little bit of down time.
    Last edited by SR_; 05-30-08 at 04:54 PM.

  23. #23
    Every day a winding road spinnaker's Avatar
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    Get over it. Your better off. Now there is no one around telling you what you can't do. It's your own time now. Being single can suck but it has a lot of advantages too. I'd wouldn't trade my life, for any money, with 90% of my buddies lives that have a so called life with an SO. They live a miserable existence and most of them are too brain washed to realize it.
    "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

    Albert Einstein

  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    It happens to us all, remember this:
    Girls are like busses, they come along on a regular schedule. You get off one, stand at the corner, another will be along soon, you get on and enjoy the ride.
    Trust me on this, There is another one aimed right at you, enjoy the down time.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Billy Bones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TXChick View Post
    . . . It will get better, it will just take some time.
    We all have different experiences. I'll tell you that I still get the occasional "pang" from a breakup some 39 years ago*. Yes, we either get better (as in smarter and tougher and more realistic) or we walk into the same chainsaw again and again. Shadow, you're at a cross roads here. The advice about cycling harder is spot-on as long you you don't go all "hermit" on us: bad mo-jo there.

    * - I see her about every decade or so and swipe my brow and go "Whew, there's another bullet I ducked!". She turned to flab and defines "frumpiness". It was the Viet Nam era and she dumped me for a guy who three weeks later was caught trying to torch an Army Recruiting Office. He soon thereafter became a guest of the US government for some years; good lookin' fella' tho', gottasay.

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