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  1. #1
    BEHOLD! THE MANTICORE! rotharpunc's Avatar
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    What to do when Significant Other Not Into Bikes?

    My girlfriend of 9 months couldn't care less about bikes. While I don't expect her to become as fanatical as myself, I don't like that I am not able to share my main hobby and a big part of my life with her. She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it. Honestly, I'm not even sure if she knows how to ride a bike. I try and explain to her the merits both as exercise and transportation (as we are both car free, and she obsesses over weight), but to little avail. The other day we saw a metallic green old beach cruiser and she said she would ride if she had a bike like that, I got so excited I almost tried to buy it off of the guy who was riding it! Have any of you had a partner who you wanted to share your love of bikes with? Any suggestions on how to do so?

  2. #2
    motovation frankenmike's Avatar
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    Don't push the biking thing too much with her. It may have the opposite effect. Be thankful that she tolerates your hobby with no complaints. My wife has a bike and we occasionally ride together, but it's not the same as a real group ride, if you get my drift. (think: riding as slow as you possibly can)

  3. #3
    titleless Houston's Avatar
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    Rejoice and count your blessings.

  4. #4
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    Maybe she is just bringing a wider perspecftive to your life. Enjoy both. bk

  5. #5
    staring at the mountains superdex's Avatar
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    Don't force it. Enjoy her for who she is--

  6. #6
    Biker, Lover, Fighter
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    Tread carefully. Ultimately if she's into it you can help her, but in my opinion if you try to push her it will backfire.

    I had a girlfriend that wanted to get into biking when she saw how much joy (and fitness) it brought me. I helped her in shopping and choosing a bike as well as starting to ride. She was doing great and even switched to clipless pedals. Then she had her first crash as pretty much everyone at that point does. It wasn't bad and she was even able to finish another 8-10 miles of riding that day, but she never rode again. I would surely enjoy riding with a significant other again, but also enjoy my time on my own. My advice is be careful what you wish for.

  7. #7
    Senior Member 1bluetrek's Avatar
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    Sign up for a charity ride, somthing big like the Tour de Cure or maybe an M.S ride. Family friendly type stuff. She might catch the bug when she sees how fun this stuff can be.
    Join the fight to stop Diabetes! You can help improve the lives of those living with this disease!Sponsor me in the 2012 Tour de Cure in Redmond Washington!


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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by rotharpunc View Post
    What to do when Significant Other Not Into Bikes?
    Sever.

  9. #9
    staring at the mountains superdex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdamD View Post
    Tread carefully. Ultimately if she's into it you can help her, but in my opinion if you try to push her it will backfire.

    I had a girlfriend that wanted to get into biking when she saw how much joy (and fitness) it brought me. I helped her in shopping and choosing a bike as well as starting to ride. She was doing great and even switched to clipless pedals. Then she had her first crash as pretty much everyone at that point does. It wasn't bad and she was even able to finish another 8-10 miles of riding that day, but she never rode again. I would surely enjoy riding with a significant other again, but also enjoy my time on my own. My advice is be careful what you wish for.

    My wife followed this EXACT trajectory. Everything was all fine and good until clipless pedals. Now she won't even use the clipless when the bilke's on the trainer.

    If she's not jumping in on her own, don't force it, but support her activities that you don't necessarily enjoy. Give and take

  10. #10
    Humvee of bikes =Worksman Nightshade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rotharpunc View Post
    My girlfriend of 9 months couldn't care less about bikes. While I don't expect her to become as fanatical as myself, I don't like that I am not able to share my main hobby and a big part of my life with her. She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it.
    Don't look now but GF isn't the right one for you.

    Why?

    If GF isn't your friend enough to share your interest now she never will be. Move on.

    Marry a friend but just "enjoy" a lover before moving on. You see if your mate isn't a friend there is
    nothing left when the 'fun' stops. Believe it...............
    My preferred bicycle brand is.......WORKSMAN CYCLES
    I dislike clipless pedals on any city bike since I feel they are unsafe.

    Originally Posted by krazygluon
    Steel: nearly a thousand years of metallurgical development
    Aluminum: barely a hundred, which one would you rather have under your butt at 30mph?

  11. #11
    Uber Goober StephenH's Avatar
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    My wife bought a cruiser bike at Walmart, we rode around the block once, that was the end of it. If she's got the least weight problem and you have the least hills, that'll do her in unless she actually has some interest in it.

    And don't go signing up for some 20 mile ride unless she's been riding quite a bit anyway. That's a good way to change her from "don't care about bikes" to "hate bikes".

    Edit: My wife has never shared my hobbies- not a reason to change, though!
    "be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."

  12. #12
    Senior Member cyclefreaksix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Houston View Post
    Rejoice and count your blessings.
    Amen brother!! I love being with my wife, but time on the bike is [B]MINE[B]!!

  13. #13
    apocryphal sobriquet
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    You can't change your mate. And this is truth. You will never change her.

    If you are willing to devote your life to something *she* loves to do, do you expect a tit-for-tat exchange? If so, you're a fool. Even if you could find someone with the same hobbies, who's to say that you two could get along besides the superficial cruft?

    If you really like her, just be happy for that...

  14. #14
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    Find something else you have in common, and enjoy that as your special time together.

    Cycling is a bug, it's either you've got it or you don't.

    Would you start making clothes together if your wife bought you a high-tech, top-of-the-line sewing machine?

    (figuratively speaking of course nothing wrong with sewing )

    .
    Quote Originally Posted by dminor View Post
    Like clever mice, if there is a any crevice to exploit, a chain will find room to jump and derail; you can count on it.

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    My wife has no interest in riding. She does like to go on a family ride like once a year.
    I am perfectly fine with my ride time being me time.
    However, I will see if I can get her to start riding short jaunts to baskin robbins with my son and I when it warms up. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe not. No issue either way.

  16. #16
    Zan
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    Senior Member Zan's Avatar
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    i agree with nightshade on the "marry a friend" bit, but not necessarily with the "drop the gf" bit.

    so what if she's not interested in biking? you can still have fun with her otherwise, eh?

    my current gf can't ride with me. she's interested in it, but has a permanent shoulder problem that would cause her serious pain on a bike (at least with a standard flat bar handlebar setup). i'm not going to drop her because of it, though!
    -- Zan

    "Every dog needs a squeak toy."

  17. #17
    cyclepath daredevil's Avatar
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    To get my cycling fix and not cut into family time, I started commuting. Perfect solution. It doesn't matter that my better half isn't into it like me. That doesn't mean we don't do some riding together.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Without music, life would be a mistake."
    -- Friedrich Nietzsche

  18. #18
    Senior Member sherbornpeddler's Avatar
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    I could be golfing the 19th hole or chasing women. She counts her blessings.
    Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving. ~Albert Einstein

  19. #19
    Senior Member ken cummings's Avatar
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    You are still in a position to do something about it. Is she a keeper? In spite of her non-cycling? Then live with it. It is not a deal breaker like you truly know you do not want to raise kids and she does.
    This space open

  20. #20
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
    My wife has no interest in riding. She does like to go on a family ride like once a year.
    I am perfectly fine with my ride time being me time.
    However, I will see if I can get her to start riding short jaunts to baskin robbins with my son and I when it warms up. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe not. No issue either way.
    Yeah, I wouldn't force any issue with your wife, if that's her on your avatar, Datajunkie. Is that a knife she's holding?!??


    Quote Originally Posted by dminor View Post
    Like clever mice, if there is a any crevice to exploit, a chain will find room to jump and derail; you can count on it.

  21. #21
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    If she is interested in, say, quilting, she wouldn't expect you to get involved with it, would she? Same difference.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  22. #22
    Senior Member
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    i feel your pain, as my wife doesnt ride either and i have like 7 bikes in our house. not at, in. she puts up with my obsession an/or hobbie and i am thankfull for that.

  23. #23
    crazy bike girl msincredible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rotharpunc View Post
    She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it.
    Why not be happy with that? I think it's healthy to have separate interests.
    Countries I've ridden in: US, Canada, Ireland, UK, Germany, Netherlands, France, China, Singapore, Malaysia
    States I've ridden in: Illinois, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, California, Nevada, Missouri, Colorado

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pocko View Post
    Yeah, I wouldn't force any issue with your wife, if that's her on your avatar, Datajunkie. Is that a knife she's holding?!??


    lol

    No. I doubt I could handle the lady in my avatar. She is a wee bit aggressive for my tastes.

  25. #25
    Biker, Lover, Fighter
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    Even though there are different takes on this scenario, I think the responses here have more in common than any other topic I've read here on BF. Interesting.

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