Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

General Cycling Discussion Have a cycling related question or comment that doesn't fit in one of the other specialty forums? Drop on in and post in here! When possible, please select the forum above that most fits your post!

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-19-08, 03:24 PM   #1
rotharpunc
BEHOLD! THE MANTICORE!
Thread Starter
 
rotharpunc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: 54914
Bikes:
Posts: 1,797
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What to do when Significant Other Not Into Bikes?

My girlfriend of 9 months couldn't care less about bikes. While I don't expect her to become as fanatical as myself, I don't like that I am not able to share my main hobby and a big part of my life with her. She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it. Honestly, I'm not even sure if she knows how to ride a bike. I try and explain to her the merits both as exercise and transportation (as we are both car free, and she obsesses over weight), but to little avail. The other day we saw a metallic green old beach cruiser and she said she would ride if she had a bike like that, I got so excited I almost tried to buy it off of the guy who was riding it! Have any of you had a partner who you wanted to share your love of bikes with? Any suggestions on how to do so?
rotharpunc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:36 PM   #2
frankenmike 
mechanically sound
 
frankenmike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Dover, NH
Bikes: rigid 29er moto, s-works stumpjumper fsr,black fixie,masi roadbike, ugly old hardrock commuter
Posts: 1,379
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
Don't push the biking thing too much with her. It may have the opposite effect. Be thankful that she tolerates your hobby with no complaints. My wife has a bike and we occasionally ride together, but it's not the same as a real group ride, if you get my drift. (think: riding as slow as you possibly can)
frankenmike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:38 PM   #3
Houston
titleless
 
Houston's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Bikes:
Posts: 130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Rejoice and count your blessings.
Houston is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:42 PM   #4
bkaapcke
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 3,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)
Maybe she is just bringing a wider perspecftive to your life. Enjoy both. bk
bkaapcke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:45 PM   #5
superdex
staring at the mountains
 
superdex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Bikes: 1x8 mtb kid-puller, Javelin Boca
Posts: 3,772
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 49 Post(s)
Don't force it. Enjoy her for who she is--
superdex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:45 PM   #6
AdamD
Biker, Lover, Fighter
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The LBC, CA
Bikes: My own hand built frames
Posts: 414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tread carefully. Ultimately if she's into it you can help her, but in my opinion if you try to push her it will backfire.

I had a girlfriend that wanted to get into biking when she saw how much joy (and fitness) it brought me. I helped her in shopping and choosing a bike as well as starting to ride. She was doing great and even switched to clipless pedals. Then she had her first crash as pretty much everyone at that point does. It wasn't bad and she was even able to finish another 8-10 miles of riding that day, but she never rode again. I would surely enjoy riding with a significant other again, but also enjoy my time on my own. My advice is be careful what you wish for.
AdamD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:47 PM   #7
1bluetrek
Senior Member
 
1bluetrek's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: eastern wa.
Bikes: 2015 Giant Advanced Pro 2,Trek 1500, a GT Avalanche and a Mongoose IBOC Comp
Posts: 638
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sign up for a charity ride, somthing big like the Tour de Cure or maybe an M.S ride. Family friendly type stuff. She might catch the bug when she sees how fun this stuff can be.
1bluetrek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 03:52 PM   #8
kylejack
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Bikes:
Posts: 248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rotharpunc View Post
What to do when Significant Other Not Into Bikes?
Sever.
kylejack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 04:02 PM   #9
superdex
staring at the mountains
 
superdex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Bikes: 1x8 mtb kid-puller, Javelin Boca
Posts: 3,772
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 49 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdamD View Post
Tread carefully. Ultimately if she's into it you can help her, but in my opinion if you try to push her it will backfire.

I had a girlfriend that wanted to get into biking when she saw how much joy (and fitness) it brought me. I helped her in shopping and choosing a bike as well as starting to ride. She was doing great and even switched to clipless pedals. Then she had her first crash as pretty much everyone at that point does. It wasn't bad and she was even able to finish another 8-10 miles of riding that day, but she never rode again. I would surely enjoy riding with a significant other again, but also enjoy my time on my own. My advice is be careful what you wish for.

My wife followed this EXACT trajectory. Everything was all fine and good until clipless pedals. Now she won't even use the clipless when the bilke's on the trainer.

If she's not jumping in on her own, don't force it, but support her activities that you don't necessarily enjoy. Give and take
superdex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 04:05 PM   #10
Nightshade
Humvee of bikes =Worksman
 
Nightshade's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Bikes:
Posts: 5,363
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rotharpunc View Post
My girlfriend of 9 months couldn't care less about bikes. While I don't expect her to become as fanatical as myself, I don't like that I am not able to share my main hobby and a big part of my life with her. She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it.
Don't look now but GF isn't the right one for you.

Why?

If GF isn't your friend enough to share your interest now she never will be. Move on.

Marry a friend but just "enjoy" a lover before moving on. You see if your mate isn't a friend there is
nothing left when the 'fun' stops. Believe it...............
__________________
My preferred bicycle brand is.......WORKSMAN CYCLES
I dislike clipless pedals on any city bike since I feel they are unsafe.

Originally Posted by krazygluon
Steel: nearly a thousand years of metallurgical development
Aluminum: barely a hundred, which one would you rather have under your butt at 30mph?
Nightshade is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 04:07 PM   #11
StephenH
Uber Goober
 
StephenH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dallas area, Texas
Bikes:
Posts: 11,327
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 31 Post(s)
My wife bought a cruiser bike at Walmart, we rode around the block once, that was the end of it. If she's got the least weight problem and you have the least hills, that'll do her in unless she actually has some interest in it.

And don't go signing up for some 20 mile ride unless she's been riding quite a bit anyway. That's a good way to change her from "don't care about bikes" to "hate bikes".

Edit: My wife has never shared my hobbies- not a reason to change, though!
__________________
"be careful this rando stuff is addictive and dan's the 'pusher'."
StephenH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 04:36 PM   #12
cyclefreaksix
Senior Member
 
cyclefreaksix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Plano Texas
Bikes:
Posts: 1,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Houston View Post
Rejoice and count your blessings.
Amen brother!! I love being with my wife, but time on the bike is [B]MINE[B]!!
cyclefreaksix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 05:35 PM   #13
J.C. Koto
apocryphal sobriquet
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Star City, NE
Bikes: 2008 Surly Long Haul Trucker "The Truckerino"
Posts: 1,072
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
You can't change your mate. And this is truth. You will never change her.

If you are willing to devote your life to something *she* loves to do, do you expect a tit-for-tat exchange? If so, you're a fool. Even if you could find someone with the same hobbies, who's to say that you two could get along besides the superficial cruft?

If you really like her, just be happy for that...
J.C. Koto is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 06:18 PM   #14
Pocko
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Under the Downunder
Bikes: MTBs, BMX, Pocket MTB
Posts: 1,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Find something else you have in common, and enjoy that as your special time together.

Cycling is a bug, it's either you've got it or you don't.

Would you start making clothes together if your wife bought you a high-tech, top-of-the-line sewing machine?

(figuratively speaking of course nothing wrong with sewing )

.
Pocko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 06:22 PM   #15
DataJunkie
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 14,280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My wife has no interest in riding. She does like to go on a family ride like once a year.
I am perfectly fine with my ride time being me time.
However, I will see if I can get her to start riding short jaunts to baskin robbins with my son and I when it warms up. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe not. No issue either way.
DataJunkie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 06:27 PM   #16
Zan
Senior Member
 
Zan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Waterloo, ONT
Bikes: Road: Trek 1.5 (2007). Mountain: Santa Cruz Chameleon (2008). Beater: Peugeot Recorde du Monde (1850)
Posts: 1,417
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i agree with nightshade on the "marry a friend" bit, but not necessarily with the "drop the gf" bit.

so what if she's not interested in biking? you can still have fun with her otherwise, eh?

my current gf can't ride with me. she's interested in it, but has a permanent shoulder problem that would cause her serious pain on a bike (at least with a standard flat bar handlebar setup). i'm not going to drop her because of it, though!
Zan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 06:28 PM   #17
daredevil
cyclepath
 
daredevil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: "The Last Best Place"
Bikes: 2005 Trek Pilot 5.0, 2001 Specialized Sirrus Pro, Kona Lava Dome, Raleigh hardtail converted to commuter, 87 Takara steel road bike, 2008 Trek Soho
Posts: 3,550
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
To get my cycling fix and not cut into family time, I started commuting. Perfect solution. It doesn't matter that my better half isn't into it like me. That doesn't mean we don't do some riding together.
__________________
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Without music, life would be a mistake."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
daredevil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 06:37 PM   #18
sherbornpeddler
Senior Member
 
sherbornpeddler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New England
Bikes: 3 speeds, mountain, road and recumbent
Posts: 1,348
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)
I could be golfing the 19th hole or chasing women. She counts her blessings.
sherbornpeddler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 06:56 PM   #19
ken cummings
Senior Member
 
ken cummings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: northern California
Bikes: Bruce Gordon BLT, Cannondale parts bike, Ecodyne recumbent trike, Counterpoint Opus 2, miyata 1000
Posts: 5,601
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You are still in a position to do something about it. Is she a keeper? In spite of her non-cycling? Then live with it. It is not a deal breaker like you truly know you do not want to raise kids and she does.
ken cummings is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 07:54 PM   #20
Pocko
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Under the Downunder
Bikes: MTBs, BMX, Pocket MTB
Posts: 1,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
My wife has no interest in riding. She does like to go on a family ride like once a year.
I am perfectly fine with my ride time being me time.
However, I will see if I can get her to start riding short jaunts to baskin robbins with my son and I when it warms up. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe not. No issue either way.
Yeah, I wouldn't force any issue with your wife, if that's her on your avatar, Datajunkie. Is that a knife she's holding?!??


Pocko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 08:04 PM   #21
Doohickie 
You gonna eat that?
 
Doohickie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fort Worth, Texas Church of Hopeful Uncertainty
Bikes: 1966 Raleigh DL-1 Tourist, 1973 Schwinn Varsity, 1983 Raleigh Marathon, 1994 Nishiki Sport XRS
Posts: 14,460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 44 Post(s)
If she is interested in, say, quilting, she wouldn't expect you to get involved with it, would she? Same difference.
__________________
I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
Doohickie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 08:49 PM   #22
ogbigbird
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: yreka, ca
Bikes: like 15. my favorite a 1951 schwinn spitfire cruiser. also have a 1959 amf roadmaster, 1962 jch deluxe cruiser among others.
Posts: 542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i feel your pain, as my wife doesnt ride either and i have like 7 bikes in our house. not at, in. she puts up with my obsession an/or hobbie and i am thankfull for that.
ogbigbird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 09:13 PM   #23
msincredible
crazy bike girl
 
msincredible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Central Coast
Bikes: '07 Orbea Onix, '07 Birdy Yellow, '06 Cannondale Bad Boy (stolen)
Posts: 3,325
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rotharpunc View Post
She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it.
Why not be happy with that? I think it's healthy to have separate interests.
__________________
Countries I've ridden in: US, Canada, Ireland, UK, Germany, Netherlands, France, China, Singapore, Malaysia
States I've ridden in: Illinois, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, California, Nevada, Missouri, Colorado
msincredible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 09:20 PM   #24
DataJunkie
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 14,280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pocko View Post
Yeah, I wouldn't force any issue with your wife, if that's her on your avatar, Datajunkie. Is that a knife she's holding?!??


lol

No. I doubt I could handle the lady in my avatar. She is a wee bit aggressive for my tastes.
DataJunkie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-08, 09:35 PM   #25
AdamD
Biker, Lover, Fighter
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The LBC, CA
Bikes: My own hand built frames
Posts: 414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Even though there are different takes on this scenario, I think the responses here have more in common than any other topic I've read here on BF. Interesting.
AdamD is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:37 PM.